overjoyed//bastille

i get frustrated when people ask me what i want to be when i'm older. first of all i find it ridiculous that i have to make a decision about what i'm going to do professionally for the rest of my life after twelve years of schooling that has very little real world application. i change my mind a lot. there are few constants in my life. to be told that i must be committed to something i enjoy at the moment for the rest of my life is a terrifying thought for me. it's not a system that makes any kind of sense to me. 
secondly, i'm frustrated that this is expected of me. i'm expected to finish school, go to university, get a degree, get a job, find a husband and raise a family. anything else is seen as abnormal. i'm not okay with that. i don't want to specialise, have a degree in something and pursue that and only that. i want to have a broad, extensive knowledge of everything that i possible can. i want to know about historical events and people that were alive years ago and i want to know how to make stuff, code websites and repair cars, and i want to know how televisions shows and movies are shot and produced and i want to know what lies beyond the reach of telescopes and what makes the human body work and i want to know the structures of governments all over the world and how they came to be that way. i want read books and listen to music and eat foreign food and travel.
but i can't do those things. i won't have the money or the time. even now, when i'm skating through school with basic, retained knowledge from the few waking minutes spent in lessons, i find myself with little time to just read! 
and this is what my life is. and this is how my life will continue to be. and i hate that. 
"what do you want to be when you're older?"
"i want to be well educated in everything i can be."
is that not reasonable? not in the eyes of my peers, it isn't.
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