It may not be surprising when I tell you that I am going to go well over 25 with this challenge... I'm guessing you also wont be shocked that I went crazy with the quotes again. This is another show that is defined by its dialogue.
Colin: I'm Colin. And this is Finn. And you are?
Lorelai: Her mother.
Finn: My God, those are good genes.
Lorelai: My life stinks. Hey, let's look into each others eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time - maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday.
Lorelai: Hey, you didn't wake me up.
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus insuring the wake up process.
Rory: [to Lorelai] What am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you.
Lorelai: You're my favorite daughter.
Rory: You say that to all your daughters.
Lorelai: Yes, I do, but I only mean it with you.
Lorelai: Ugh, Rory, my brain is full. It has reached capacity. It's Shea Stadium when the Beatles played. It's cramped and girls are screaming and I think George is fighting with Ringo.
Lane: The very concept of childbirth is vaguely disturbing.
Rory: Yeah. Kids are cool and all, but getting there seems like a big cosmic joke.
Lane: Definitely thought up by a man.
Rory: My mom said that when she told me where babies come from.
Lane: My mom still hasn't told me.
Lane: When my cousin got pregnant, she said it's because an angel brushed its wings against her face.
Rory: I could fill you in on the details sometime if you want.
Lane: No thanks, I've picked it up off the streets.
Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Michel: [Sookie wants Michel to choose a cookie] I don't care.
Sookie: I just need a quick opinion!
Michel: It took me two seconds to tell you I don't care, that's as quick as I get.
Sookie: Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.
Michel: Are there 12?
Sookie: 12 what?
Michel: Blueberries. I can only have 12 blueberries for breakfast.
Sookie: Or what?
Michel: What do you mean, or what?
Sookie: What happens if you eat 13 blueberries?
Michel: This is a silly conversation.
Sookie: Would you die?
Michel: Just hand me the plate.
Sookie: Only if you don't count.
Michel: I won't count.
Sookie: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'
Michel: [raises his hand] ... Pick another group.
Michel: [slams hand down] I hate you! Hate you!
Taylor: [Luke won't give out free coffee at the dance marathon] You would knock the crutch out from under Tiny Tim, wouldn't you?
Luke: If he asked for a free cup of coffee, Gimpy's goin' down.
Lorelai: How does Charlie Rose screw up your REM sleep?
Luke: Because he's always got some guy on pushing a book about how everything's all going to he||, or they're going to pass a law, how everyone with a nose ring is going to get shipped off to China. Suddenly you're depressed, thinking we're all going to die and don't drink the water, there's anthrax in my bagel - and bam, there goes your REM sleep.
Lorelai: Or Mel Brooks is on, and he is so funny, and you think, "What a wonderful world we live in, that there's a Mel Brooks to go to sleep to."
Luke: Mel Brooks is never on Charlie Rose, and when he is on he's talking about Nazis, and then you go to sleep and you dream about Nazis and they all look like Nathan Lane, and you're creeped out for days.
Lorelai: [walking into Luke's diner] Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
Emily: You were on the phone?
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman.
Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could.
Richard: Now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? Well, don't do it. I did it once and I had nightmares for a week. Bulgarians in Speedos.
Emily: Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening, and I know you've heard a lot of talk about it in the past, but I want to make this very clear: you, young lady, your person and your existence, have never ever been, not even for a second, included in that list. Do you understand me?
[Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away]
Lorelai: Was that her real name - Sweetie?
Emily: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
Emily: What do you mean, why?
Lorelai: I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda?
Emily: They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname.
Lorelai: Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something.
Emily: She was sweet. That's the story.
Emily: She had a very sweet nature.
Emily: Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story.
Emily: No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you?
Lorelai: Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's...
Emily: All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man - so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that?
Lorelai: Now, that was a pretty good story.
Emily: What is that?
Lorelai: It's a paper clip.
Emily: And what do you intend to do with that paper clip?
Lorelai: I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door.
Lorelai: What rhymes with Nantucket?
Emily: You brought us used dessert?
Lorelai: It's not used. It's leftover.
Emily: How nice. I'll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of Cheer.
Emily: You have the word "Juicy" on your rear end.
Lorelai: Well, if I knew you were coming over, I would've changed.
Emily: Into what? A brassiere with the word "Tasty" on it?
Rory: How am I supposed to get into Harvard if I have no wilderness skills?
Lorelai: I don't know honey. Maybe you'll have to give up your dream of majoring in logging.
[about new school]
Rory: One of the girls already hates me. The guys are weird.
Lorelai: Weirder than other guys?
Rory: Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.
Lorelai: You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.
Rory: Why? What does it mean?
Lorelai: It means like, Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
Rory: You're kidding.
Rory: Well what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slùt?
Lorelai: Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.
Rory: Wow. Biblical insults. This is an advanced school.
Rory: I am dancing, I can not control where my glance goes, and when I can control it, my glance goes to Dean.
Jess: You mean you can't control when you look at me, but you have to force yourself to look at him.
Jess: Sorry man, that's cold.
Rory: Why me?
Paris: Because people like you. You're quiet. You say "excuse me". You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.
Paris: We're friends?
Rory: I'm not sure if there is an exact definition for what we are, but I do think it falls somewhere in the bizarro friends-ish realm.
Lorelai: What about Paris, does she ever sleep?
Rory: I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.
Paris: For example, I can instantly deduce that when someone hears the name Paris in the same sentence with the word date, jaws will drop, confused looks will cover faces, words like 'how' and 'why' and 'Quick, Bob, get the children in the minivan because the world is obviously coming to an end.' will immediately fly out of people's mouths.
Lorelai: Aren't baby shower balloons supposed to reflect the sex of the baby? Blue for boys, pink for girls.
Rory: You would think.
Lorelai: What's green for, aliens?
Lorelai: Do you know how to make coffee?
Christopher: Yes, I do.
Lorelai: My coffee?
Christopher: One bag of coffee per cup of water, right?
Mrs. Shales: [to Lorelai] Do you have children?
Lorelai: I have a daughter.
Mrs. Shales: Do you hate her?
Mrs. Shales: Not ever?
Lorelai: Well, I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor.
Mrs. Shales: That was the high point for me.