It may not be surprising when I tell you that I am going to go well over 25 with this challenge.

Colin: I'm Colin. And this is Finn. And you are?
Lorelai: Her mother.
Finn: My God, those are good genes. 

Lorelai: My life stinks. Hey, let's look into each others eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time - maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday. 

Lorelai: Hey, you didn't wake me up.
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus insuring the wake up process. 

Rory: [to Lorelai] What am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you. 

Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution. 

Emily: You were on the phone?
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai...
Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could. 

[Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away]
Lorelai: Was that her real name - Sweetie?
Emily: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
Lorelai: Why?
Emily: What do you mean, why?
Lorelai: I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda?
Emily: They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname.
Lorelai: Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something.
Emily: She was sweet. That's the story.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: She had a very sweet nature.
Lorelai: Hmm.
Emily: Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story.
Emily: No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you?
Lorelai: Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's...
Emily: All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man - so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that?
Lorelai: Now, that was a pretty good story. 

Emily: You have the word "Juicy" on your rear end.
Lorelai: Well, if I knew you were coming over, I would've changed.
Emily: Into what? A brassiere with the word "Tasty" on it? 

Rory: How am I supposed to get into Harvard if I have no wilderness skills?
Lorelai: I don't know honey. Maybe you'll have to give up your dream of majoring in logging. 

[about new school]
Rory: One of the girls already hates me. The guys are weird.
Lorelai: Weirder than other guys?
Rory: Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.
Lorelai: You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.
Rory: Why? What does it mean?
Lorelai: It means like, Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
Rory: You're kidding.
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Well what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slùt?
Lorelai: Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.
Rory: Wow. Biblical insults. This is an advanced school. 

Lorelai: Do you know how to make coffee?
Christopher: Yes, I do.
Lorelai: My coffee?
Christopher: One bag of coffee per cup of water, right?
Lorelai: Perfect. 

Mrs. Shales: [to Lorelai] Do you have children?
Lorelai: I have a daughter.
Mrs. Shales: Do you hate her?
Lorelai: No.
Mrs. Shales: Not ever?
Lorelai: Well, I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor.
Mrs. Shales: That was the high point for me.
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