The people in my life became more like chapters. My life, I guess, was the book. Books ended, and that was it. Once it was over, it's over. Yes, you can go back and reread it but there's never anything new. Sometimes you cry at the end and sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you feel nothing at all. But the chapters were what made the book worth reading. Chapters also ended. Unlike books, You didn't quite know when the chapter would end. With books you could tell, the pages began to thin out. But some chapters were long and some were short. All you know is that they have to end sometime.
Charlotte's chapter ended quicker then I wanted it to. She left my life only two weeks after Belle did. All she said was that she had to go back to California for photo shoots and that she wouldn't be coming back. The thing about life is that one day it's great; You seem to have a whole family with you. Michelle, Brendon, Belle, Charlotte... And then all of a sudden you have nothing. You're right back to where you were. No human interaction for days.
That was how life was now. I felt numb. It got harder and harder to make music because I didn't feel anything. When I did get the tinist hint of emotion, It was so hard to put into words. The entire house was dead. The only room I used on the second floor was my bedroom. Brendon and Michelle's room sat exactly the way they did when they left. Ballet shoes lay in the middle of Belle's studio on the top floor. The imprint of a suitcase was still visible in her bed. Not like I went up there anymore.
I thought about killing myself, I lay waste to the world now. But part of me still waited for the day that Jezebel would run in the door and jump into my arms. That day would never come, but the thought of it kept me going. I hadn't spoken to her since the night of Belle's performance. That was the day before Belle left. I had no idea where Belle was. I wasn't worried, she was smart enough to get around. I hoped she would be with Jezebel in Paris or with Brendon in Texas. Maybe even in California with Charlotte. There were so many places she could be, especially since she didn't want me to find her. Why did this all happen to me? I was a good kid who fell in love with the wrong girl. If I had never met Jezebel, I could be married with a good job and a life. I would have someone who loves me. Instead I'm here, Alone. And I always will be.