This is a set for my story, Before. If you're interested in reading it, I can put you on a tag list so you'll always know when there's a new chapter up on figment!
I will love you forever if you read through this first part, comment on here whether you liked it and whether you want to be on the list <3
@istylista @luxecouture Esti=Cassie. Does she fit?
It wasn't my fault that he'd loved me first. Or more than her, I couldn't figure it out. But then, was it really not my fault? Didn't I push it to this point?
"Hey, Mae. You're awake?", he mumbled into my hair, his voice still sleepy. Of course I'd been. I never really slept. Not since… I stopped my thoughts from going on. Instead, I sat up, pulling sheets around me so he could not see my barely covered body. How fake.
"Just woken up", I lied and placed a kiss on top of his head. A smiled spread on Drew's face as he watched me climb out of bed. I could feel his eyes squinting across my body although I still carried the sheets with me. Whenever I felt that gaze, I burnt inside. How could he still look at me if he knew what really happened that night? The answer was stuck in my head since then. Drew wouldn't be able to look at me ever again, not even talking about touching me. Loving me. And, truth be told, nobody could do so. Not even myself.
"Coffee?", I asked him while I hopped into my jeans and slipped one of his shirts on. It felt comfortable and it smelled like him. Like coffee, like a sea breeze, like pancakes. Awkward, Drew never ate pancakes.
"Sure." I turned to the coffee machine and switched it on. The dull gargling comforted me. My gaze wandered out of the window, towards the port and the horizon behind it. If only I were able to swim behind the horizon, behind the whole world. Behind my fears and sins.
Suddenly, I felt Drew's warm arms around my hips, his heartbeat pulsing against my back. He buried his nose in my hair and breathed in slowly, stroking me with his hands. "Hey", he whispered. "What's up?" From one second to the other, I stiffened and took a step to the sides, away from him senses. Of course he knew there was something wrong. He always did. Just like Cassie. Behind my eyes, I could feel the tears burning, ready to fall down my cheeks so Drew could see them. And I had promised that he would never see my tears ever again.
"Nothing", I said, forcing a smile onto my lips which felt like a grimace. "I'm just a bit anxious, that's all."
"First day of college. My babe is growing up", he teased me. I just had to laugh. Drew was only a few days older than me, but because of his phenomenal degrees, he had been allowed to start college one year earlier then the average. Average as in me, for example.
"You need to relax, Mae. I'm sure you'll make new friends in the first seconds." Drew took my hand into his, twirling his fingers around mine.
"Liar. You know I won't." I wasn't like him or Cassie who both would have gotten to know all of the students in a couple of days, including college parties and everything else. In my whole life, I had only made two friends. Cassie and Drew. Now I had cut it down to one.
"Mae, you're amazing. Everyone would want to be your friend, believe me. I'm thinking about locking you in this house so no hot college sports guy can flirt with you." Drew minimized the space between us and kissed me directly on the mouth. His lips tasted like salt and peppermint. I pressed myself against him. I needed him so much it was hard to admit it to myself. It was horrible. My needs had destroyed everything. My hands fumbled in his hair which needed a cut again. Dark blonde strands fell into his eyes as he pushed me away lightly to look into mine.
"I love you." It was as simple as that to Drew. He loved me, I loved him. Nothing else. If only he was right. It wasn't easy, never. And it would never be. I would always regret what I've done. The only way to escape from the guilt would be breaking up with Drew. With my soulmate. I wasn't strong enough to do that, even if it destroyed me day by day.
Please comment if you read the whole story in this set:) I need some feedback.
This is the rest of the story (not finished!):