Happy Easter everyone!

I could tag tons of people in here who mean a lot to me , but I won't do that. The people who are meant to will see this set anyway. 

So, long time no see or better no write/read. When did I post my last blog set? I can't even remember. Maybe because I didn't want to talk about the things which are wrong or not that good. But a special person on here made me notice one thing (you know who you are): If I'm not there for you, you will hate me. And I'll hate myself for it, too. I already do. Because there's one point. You have always been there for me, at least some of you (again you know who you are). And I might need that again now. And it's plain bitchyy that I didn't fully give that back during the last time. I'm so sorry for that, for not answering messages and such. Not only sorry, I want to apologize for it. I feel horrible for not knowing what's going on. And yes, maybe it would be a distraction from my own problems, to talk to others. 

So here you go if you even want to read that. There was this boy who I, well, liked. We chatted on Facebook and even wanted to meet. Great, you could say. Yes, it would have been great. But I found out that this was his pattern. I guess he didn't even care about which girl he would date. So, I totally said no and from then, we didn't have contact anymore. And now he has a girlfriend. Ugh, such a cute couple. My first thought was: Oh, how cute. Not. And the second one: This could have been me. Again. I kicked him out of my friends list and everything, but it hurt. I guess it was also my ego. 
When it comes to boys and my outward appearance, I have a low self-esteem anyway, I can't help it. There's barely someone who says: Wow, you look great with your hair like that. At least there are no boys who are even interested, it's a different thing with friends. I always think that I won't meet a boy who really likes me. And there are so much more things. I feel like I could cry, though I never do. 

Then there's this problem wit my "bestie". Well, at least she belongs to my closest friends and we used to hang out a lot together. But she's changing. She won't even come to my party for obviously ridiculous reasons. We don't even talk that much anymore and I don't know what happened or why she acts like that. It gets worse and worse. And I'm sure talking to her wouldn't change that at all.

Plus, there are those regular fears, for example school. I'm so afraid of failing that I can't relax, not even during vacations. What if I don't have the grades I need? But... for what exactly would I need them? I want to study, yes, but I don't know which subject and it's just annoying. Being afraid without a real goal... then what's it worth?

You see, there are so many questions going round and round in my head and I can't stop them. But writing about it (no matter if anybody reads it or not) helps a bit.

20 comments

anelalovenathan
Wrote three years ago
What an amazing set dear !

rikka-alethea
Wrote three years ago
Perfect! I adore the pastel colors this season!

luxecouture
Wrote three years ago
Ugh I'm having boy trouble too sorry Melli :((

akafashionqueen
Wrote three years ago
Melli. You're amazing. You've been there for me in ways that some of my friends that I see everyday could never have done. And you know what I'm talking about and I want you to know that I appreciate you so much and find you to be someone that is truly a genuine, true friend. Please don't ever forget this Mel...I love you so much!

akafashionqueen
Wrote three years ago
Now about this boy. It's the most difficult situations with boys because us girls get attached so easily and quickly and so we get hurt so badly when they let us go. But Mel, why are you hanging on to him? You know he's a player and a jerk....so why? Because he has another girl now? It's just going to happen to her too. That poor girl is going to get her heart broken soon enough as well, and it's very unfortunate. I would never want that to happen to you, because it's the worst feeling and so I personally feel that it's better that you let him go and he let you go in some way because you are an independent woman Melli and so you need to remind yourself that you cannot depend on him to be your beautiful self because you know what? Melli = beautiful, independent girl. It's not, Melli + boy = independent, beautiful girl. No. It's just you that is the beautiful independent girl And the day that a boy can respect you as a woman and treat you with the values that you deserve, then that will be better than having this boy throw girls around left and right. I know it hurts Mel, I really do know and I'm so sorry...I just don't want you to get hurt.

akafashionqueen
Wrote three years ago
Also...about school. Gosh I'm so stressed too. I recommend sometimes doing your work or studying at a coffee shop...it always helps calm my nerves because I've got some tea or something and there are other people doing the same thing as me. And I have so many long-term goals and sometimes it's difficult to achieve them because I feel like they are so far off that I will never reach them. So I recommend making some short-term goals. Maybe go intern (or get a job if you'd like, but interning may be less stressful) at a little boutique, company, or something of that sort...it could not only get you opportunities, but it could also lead to you to figuring out what you truly have a passion for! And why are you afraid of failing? Why? Because you think that after failing you won't be able to succeed? There's always going to be tumbles and times that we fall Mel, and that's okay. I know how you feel though, I really do because I was always so scared of failing, I thought I had these expectations to be something great because all my family is full of medical people and I thought they had those expectations for me. But I realized that I need to do what I'm going to love, not what they are going to love. Find your passion and follow your dreams Melli, or else you will live the rest of your life regretting that you couldn't or didn't do what you loved. Again, set some short-term goals, and I know that will help you get more motivated....Oh, another little idea. Maybe find a little hobby of yours and find a way to make a fun little business out of it for yourself. Your hobby could be a stress-reliever and you could also make something out of it! That's why I started making jewelry...it's truly such a stress-reliever and I may start selling very soon to get somewhere with my hobby. Make time for yourself Melli, you need to do some things for yourself, okay?

akafashionqueen
Wrote three years ago
Melli. You are a beautiful girl. I want you to look in the mirror every morning and look at yourself and realize how beautiful you are, because you truly are a beautiful girl; and I'm talking about on the inside /and/ the outside. I think that life is definitely a roller coaster; there's the ups, there's the downs, and then there's those crazy spins and turns. I also think that sometimes we need to face reality; you're in a down right now Mel. And you know what? That's okay. Because again, it's all part of life. Look Mel....we're in a down together. We're both going through times in our lives where we feel stuck. You're studying so hard, but you don't know where to go with it. You have a best friend who is making you feel like the relationship isn't mutual, but rather one-sided. And I honestly think that friends can go in and out, especially at our young age. I have several friends that I thought were going to be my best friends for the rest of my life, and now they are people who won't even look at me and pretend they don't recognize them when I see them out or something. And I've learned to think that it's okay. Because again. life is a roller coaster and there will be ups and downs. And maybe it's a down for your best friend too! You never know...I think it'd be a wonderful idea to ask her if she'd like to get a coffee/tea at a local, cute little coffee shop and maybe just catch up with her and chat about how you feel about how you really value her friendship and hope that it will be one that you will always be able to value; and then try to understand her point of view, and if she comes off hesitant or resistant to the conversation? Then you know....she's not the long-term bestie you thought she was and that's that. There's nothing you can do to change others and I wish that'd be different in life, but it's not Mel :/ And honestly, I tell you this because I care about you and I think it's unfair for you to be treated so poorly by her and you deserve better than that. Because remember? You're a beautiful girl, inside and out!

leboutonderose
Wrote three years ago
@lauren-is-not-an-owl You made me think about some things. Just like @akafashionqueen

rainie-minnie
Wrote three years ago
so fabulous i love this style so much awesome set:))

ingres
Wrote three years ago
Just adorable..

junelaze
Wrote three years ago
beautiful set honey

laceandlanvin
Wrote three years ago
I went through the same situation with a friend as well. Actually it was two, the three of us were the best of friends but suddenly they just got all secretive and less..friendly. I tried talking to them about it but then it just got all weird and I felt like I was being too 'clingy', which isn't something you should feel about a friend. They just became less familiar to me. I don't talk to them anymore, but I guess that's just life. You lose friends, and you make friends, and you just have to accept that sometimes. If you find you spend all your time worrying about this friend, and if she makes you that upset, then maybe she isn't your friend after all. That's just me though, it might not be the same for you.

glivingthedream
Wrote three years ago
Awesome set,dear!And boys are just not worth it at all,so focus on yourself and be happy!

helleka
Wrote three years ago
What a pretty set - love this!

hug-voldemort
Wrote three years ago
amazing!

leboutonderose
Wrote three years ago
@deercat Thanks for your honest opinion about that. It must have been very hard for you to et go!

tiptiiirip
Wrote three years ago
Love it!

deercat
Wrote three years ago
I had a similar problem that you're having with your friend right now, and we just kind of broke away, and now I hang out with the best, kindest group of friends a girl could have. I understand if you don't want to stop being friends with her, but it did me good, so it might work for you, as well. If you ever need to talk more, PM me (:
 
I love this set so much (:

vilen
Wrote three years ago
Ich mag die zarte Pastelfarben...

elliot-jotta-dunnoni
Wrote three years ago
gprgeous set

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