Book Review: Thoughtless (book 1) by S.C. Stephens

4.5 stars out of 5!
 
This book is seriously addictive! I was surprised on how much I enjoyed it, because the storyline is typical. I was meant to be finishing off reading the Book Thief, which I’ve been putting off since April, but somehow this book in particular appealed to me and I honestly could not put it down! It stirred so many emotions in me and it’s very angsty. I read this in 5 days! I really really hate how much I loved this book. I shouldn’t like it and I didn’t think I would but I do. This is guilty pleasure at its best.
 
“He spoke rapidly in-between his tender kisses. "I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The women...I was so scared to touch you. You didn't want me...I couldn't take the pain. I tried to get over you. Every time with them, I was with you. I'm so sorry...I love you.”
 
This is about a love triangle between three main characters, Kiera, Denny and Kellan. Kiera moves to Seattle to be with her devoted boyfriend of 2 years, Denny. He has secured a dream job of a lifetime at top advertising company. Kiera will be attending the University of Washington after managing to get herself a new scholarship. Then along comes Mr. I-Get-Who-I-Want Kellan Kyle, who is their roommate. He’s the local rock star of the town in a club band called the D-Bags with band mates Griffin, Matt and Evan. He’s cocky and drop-dead-gorgeous (described by Kiera). Not to mention he can play the guitar and can swoon anyone with his singing.
 
Kiera and Kellan’s flirting begins when Denny is away for 2 months, which is when she turns to Kellan for solace. Denny receives a job offer that he cannot refuse. He didn’t consult in Kiera first before deciding because the offer Denny got is in Tucson and it’s for 2 years. Furious and hurt at his decision and choosing his job over her, Kiera end things with him on the phone. Afterwards, that’s when the love affair starts, just when Denny comes back for her. The first time was a drunken mistake and the second time was clear betrayal, it was one that Kiera initiated.
 
Kiera and Kellan just can’t seem to stay away from each other. They have this deniable uncontrollable burning passion and emotional desire to touch each other. Kiera should feel this way with Denny, not Kellan. Despite her guilt of betraying him, her body craves for Kellan and she can’t control it, neither can he.
 
Kiera really grated on my nerves to an extent. God, I wanted to slap her. If you think Bella from Twilight is bad, you should read about Kiera, she’s worst. Kiera cannot make up her damn mind and she leads two great guys on, hurting them in the process. First she says it’s Denny, but then the next minute she says it’s Kellan and then she changes her mind! She’s selfish, has very little regard for anyone else accept herself (esp. in that fight scene). She was all right in the beginning of the book, but then in the middle, she started to frustrate and annoy me. When she cried, I really could not sympathise her. What is there to sympathise about? Absolutely nothing, she got herself into this complicated mess. If she sorted out her shit sooner, then maybe she would have been an all right person. I don’t think she means to be this ‘selfish’ person but she unfortunately was. The thing that really got me was that Kiera pushes Kellan away telling him she doesn’t want him, yet it’s very clear that she doesn’t want anyone to have him! Hypocrite. I feel sorry for Denny and Kellan, who are in love with her. Honestly, they could do so much better.
 
The writing in this book is very good, it’s a very length book though – 546 pages! S.C. Stephens is a talented writer, she has the ability to lure you into her writing, evoking new emotions and it drew me in wanting to find out what happens next. The characters felt believable and real to read about, it also feels like you’re in the story as well. I loved her writing for the intense scenes between Kiera and Kellan, which is very graphic for a Young Adult novel. It’s erotic and incredibly hot but very well written; you can almost imagine what they feel and mean to each other. At first, it sounds like its just lust because they slept together twice but then it goes much deeper than that.
 
My problem with this book was that some parts of the writing can be a little repetitive. I keep hearing how ridiculously good-looking Kellan is, how he has amazing blue eyes, his tousled messy hair, his crooked grin (Twilight reference?) and how gorgeous his sculpted chest is and Denny’s goofy grin. Then I start wondering if Kiera is shallow, as it seems she only wants Kellan because he is good-looking because that’s all I’ve read. The cheating thing going back and forth drove me a bit insane because that’s all the whole book is about. It’s like they’re teenagers getting up to no good and Kiera having sex behind Denny’s back under the same roof, shows she has no respect for him. The phrase that Kellan said, “You will be the death of me” was too Twilight-esque for my liking. I'm not sure if the author got this from Twilight or not, but it sounded quite 'Twilight' to me - not something I want to be reminded of.
 
“What if I don’t choose you, Kellan? What will you do?”
He looked away, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I’ll leave, Kiera. I’ll leave, and you and Denny can have your happily ever after.” He looked back at me. “You wouldn’t even need to tell him about me. Eventually, the two of you…” his voice broke and another tear fell on his cheek, “the two of you would get married, and have children, and have a great life.”
I fought back a sob. “And you? What happens to you in that scenario?”
“I…get by. And I miss you, every day,” he whispered.”
 
Ah, I absolutely loved Kellan (why are you fictional?!) definitely one of my favourite male characters. In the book, we get to fully understand why he is a manwhore. He had a broken childhood and grew up without love from his parents. He’s just a vulnerable boy inside who just wants to be loved and he’s afraid of being alone. I never really understood why he fell for Kiera, only that he was fascinated of what she and Denny had, and he really wanted to experience that. He is deeply and crazy in love with Kiera and he finally understands what it means to love someone. He writes songs about her, which is really the sweetest thing. You just want to hug Kellan and tell him everything is going to be okay.
 
“If words could be caresses, then he was making love to me, every time he sang it.”
 
This is a fantastic and heartfelt book. Also a bit of a tearjerker - I caught myself shedding a tear. I think it ended very nicely and despite my criticisms I listed above, I did enjoy this book and it is one of my favourites alongside Sempre. If you liked angst, drama and love stories in general, then I definitely recommend this one. Fasten your seatbelts though; you’re in for a bumpy ride. This is this book is an emotional train wreck just waiting to happen. It's a love triangle, so no one wins and someone is bound to get hurt in the end.

This is my soundtrack for Thoughtless. It goes in the order:
 
Bloc Party – Two More Years
The Cribs – Man’s Needs
The Arctic Monkeys – I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor
The Arctic Monkeys – Are You Mine?
The View – How Long
One Night Only – Say You Don’t Want It
The Script – Exit Wounds
He is We – Our July in the Rain
 
I’ll be reading the next installment of Thoughtless, which is Effortless but not yet, I need to recover all from the angst. It could have been the full 5 stars but what I listed above – Kiera annoyed me like hell.
 
My vision of Kellan:
 
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krrkqcht1h1qzth89o1_1280.jpg
 
Trailer to Effortless: http://youtu.be/46Y8QPvT4Dc