*Heyyy. sorry it's been so long. (only four days but w.e.) so i feel the need to warn you all, that this is probably more like what it'll be like once school starts. i can't post every night because lately i like trying to make the chapters a decent length. i'm sorry but that's just the way it is.
another reason this took so long, is that i'm officially obsessed with writing my other story on my other account. i'll try to remember this one but it's just not always as much fun to write. i'm trying though. i promise. so now that i've babbled you guys at least deserve a chapter. :)
<3
valerie*

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me!" Christina complained as she took a bite of her chicken caesar salad.

I sighed. "I'm sorry! I didn't know that you'd care so much," I apologized for the billionth time. Who knew that waking up in bed with a guy you suddenly realized you liked was such a big deal?

"I'm just disappointed," she informed me. "I thought I was your best friend in the world!"

She pulled her pout and stared down at the table. "Aw Chrissy you know you are," I told her as more kids that got out later from their classes filed in.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't know! It just slipped my mind," I told her.

"/Sure/," she said skeptically. "C'mon! How does something like that just 'slip your mind'?!" 

I opened my mouth to answer just as Tom, Josh and sadly Marisol walked up. Josh sat right next to me and kissed my cheek while Tom took a spot next to Chrissy. Marisol squeezed in next to Josh and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey honey," Josh said sweetly. 

I plastered a flirty smile on. "Hi baby," I answered. "Aren't you hungry?"

He shrugged. "Yeah but I wanted to say hi to you first," he said and kissed me.

"Aww," Christina said. 

"Uh Joshy shouldn't we get lunch?" Marisol interrupted and he pulled away. 

He rolled his eyes. "Fine," he replied. "Come along Tom."

The three of them left again and Christina waited until they were out of earshot to start again. "Ohmygosh!" she cried. "You two /are/ in love!" 

I sighed again. "Chrissy--" 

"Yeah yeah," she interrupted me. "It's fake. Whatever. But even if it is fake, you have to admit Marisol is a pain in the asss."

"She's always been like that," I answered and took a bite of salad. "Even before Josh became my fake boyfriend."

"True," she answered and nodded. "But you know, this wouldn't have been an issue if you'd just told her to fuckk off when she asked you if you could set the two of them up."

I groaned. "How long are you going to hold that over my head? I admitted it was a mistake."

"What was a mistake?" Tom asked casually and sat down again.

"Nothing," I answered as Josh's arm wrapped around my waist again. I decided to play it up a little and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"You okay?" he whispered so only I could hear.

"Mhm," I answered and breathed in the delicious scent of his cologne.

"So Leilani," Marisol began loudly. "It must be awkward for Tom to be back right?"

"Uh," I began. "Not really actually."

"But you two were like /so/ in love," she said and glared into my eyes. "Feelings like that don't just go away right?"

I looked over and Tom was staring at his food but I could see a hint of a blush on his cheeks "We're just friends Marisol," I told her.

"But isn't it weird? You're dating your first love's cousin? Isn't that sort of harsh?" she asked and though he tried to hide it, I saw Tom's fist clench.

"Marisol," I began and pulled away from Josh. This was obviously uncomfortable for Tom.

And I'd just realized that biitch that she was, Marisol had a point...Tom /was/ my first love, and despite the fact that it was fake, I was dating his cousin. And after Tom had told me he wanted me back.

I was horrible. Even if I didn't love Tom like that anymore, I still cared for him. It was hurting him to see Josh and I all over each other at school. And as much as i wished it not to be true, Marisol was right about those feelings being hard to forget...

Maybe a small part of me still did love Tom. But I didn't want to get hurt again so I couldn't admit it. Of course, feelings like this were hard enough to ignore without someone just blurting them out.

"What?" she asked. "It's an valid point."

Tom looked up and I saw all of the pain he'd tried so hard to disguise. Our gaze locked and it was like we both admitted there was still something there. The bell rang and Christina grabbed my arm dragging me away into a small empty hallway.

"Are you okay?" she asked with a worried tone.

I just stood there as everything sunk in. A lone tear trickled down my cheek. "Oh no," she murmured and hugged me. "Forget what Marisol said. She's just a biitch."

I hugged her back and let a few more tears fall. "I don't think I can Chrissy. Because as much as I hate to admit it, she might be right," I told her and literally felt the shield I'd so carefully built start to crumble. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't just ignore how you felt.
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