The * means does not apply
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.*
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.*
You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone. (omg totally)
You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican. (i only speak a little Spanish, just the useful stuff)
You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below). (sort of)
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". (this is so true)
You drive to your neighborhood block party.* (no i live in a smallish neighborhood)
In the winter, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal. (sometimes)
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving. (duh!)
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.* (no, i don't live on a ranch)
You know what In-N-Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any. (omg when i found out that the state i was goin to didn't have one i got really sad, best food ever)
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California roll. (not my fam but everyone else)
You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
(well u kind of can)
You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times. You don't remember any of them.* (no but i've heard stories)
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
(or use tanning oils)
You eat pineapple on pizza. (yummy)
Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.
You think that Venice is a beach. (it is, isn't it)
The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.* (no, who came up with this one?)
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "714, 949." Nobody likes anyone from the "909, 951" because it smells there. (hahahahaha)
You call 911 and they put you on hold. (occasionally)
You have a gym membership because it's mandatory. (of course)
The gym is packed at 3pm, on a workday. ( duh, late lunch break)
You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill." It doesn't matter on which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. (omg me and my neighbors each fight about who's really over the hill)
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks. (ya, but for reals 2 miles from my house there is a MickeyD's and a Starbucks)
You know what "SigAlert", "PCH", and "The Five" mean.*
You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?* (o trust me people remember)
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a "STORM WATCH" report on every news station. (ya and everyone forgets how to drive, right after storm watch is the accident report)
The Terminator is your governor. (ugh not for long)