I am myself, not anyone else.

sorry for depressing you with my weird face.
i'm getting a hair cut! soo basically my hairs a little bit longer then is shown in the photo.
 
so how many inches? if any?
short? long? medium?
 
i'm not getting highlights or anything like that. won't and never will.

 
shshlalalalal
i will delete this and the photo.
so it's not even worth stealing, folks.

think about it.
:)

who knew chivalry still existed?
 
=)
 
i'm in such a great mood.
nothing can being me down.
 
shalallalalalalalalalala
 
if you don't know what went down... i can share. sighh... he's such a gentleman.
 
can this be true?
can a guy with actual THOUGHTS ask me out?
 

let's all hope so... :)
 
i'll stop smiling.
 

 

 

 
:)
 

ILIKENICHOLAS.
 
it's true... gasp.
screw what others say. he quotes songs, holds books, holds doors, quotes movies, makes me .... happy.
 
and when the immature kids with 'sex for dummies' came he acted hilarious. he wasn't embarrassed, haha i found the conversation hilarious.
 
random guy: "I'm learning about sex since I only did it three times."
N: "Wow, you're going to take her advice?"
this old lady was on the cover. bahaha.
 

hmmmmm... can i actually like like a guy without being so bipolar all the time?
blahhh.

i hope he's having a great time in NY.
i really do.
 
joanna's set tag thing. :)
i used the dress.
 
i tag whoever wants to be tagged.
links below, if you do!

everything.
 
tagged by haley.
 
use one of these items in a set:
I tag anyone who wants to do it.
post links if you do.
 
mands.

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way."
 
“Why am I doing this again?” I sighed as I stepped out of the baggage claim. I stumbled on my shoes; the weight of the bags tilted me towards one side, making it hard to balance. I wasn’t sure how much to bring, or when to leave for that matter. So I packed minimally. But being me and basically having no muscle, I couldn’t keep up with the suitcase.
“Because you love me and support me,” Manda’s tone hinted a little annoyance by my constant whining, “And because it’s getting you out of class and Sterling will be there.”
Ah Sterling Knight, master of the creep factor. It was my goal to visit him in L.A. The city with so many memories, as much so that it rivaled the toxins in the air. But that was the past and this is the present, the time to move forward. Move forward. Plus Alexa wanted an autograph.
“Okay I’ll be there in awhile.” I hung up and slid the phone back into my tote bag, continuing making my way through the rushing crowd. I looked at my watch when I finally reached the tiny starbucks near the exit. 11:58. My flight came a bit early, so I looked over to see if there were any empty seats. I walked over towards the back where a brown chair stood, almost calling out my name, as I hurriedly walked, suitcase in hand, towards the chair. I sat down, pulling the suitcase towards me and kept my tote on my lap. I waited impatiently and fixated my view on the small watch above the counter. The seconds seemed like hours, as the little hand moved ever so slowly across the clock. Getting bored with watching the time go, I fumbled inside my bag for my phone. Two messages from Jake, I read from the screen, he was probably wondering why I wasn’t at my house. Time changed, and I had gotten used to the regular life, without those paparazzi people, without worrying about anything to be quite frank. It was good, for the most part. I checked the watch again, 11:59. I took a deep breath, letting the coffee air pervade into my lungs. God, this was agonizing. My fingers traced the silver buttons on the phone, my eyes still focused on the watch.
“Ms. Amor?” someone tapped on my shoulder.
I jumped slightly as a chill ran up my spine, “Uhm yes,” I regained my composure, “You must be the driver.”
“Correct Ms. Amor,” he smiled, I turned to fully look at him. He was a tad on the young side, at least for a driver. Probably in the 20s.
“Oh you can call me Mandy,” I grabbed my bag and small suitcase, “How did you know it was me?”
“Manda, your friend? She told me you’d probably be here,” he started walking, “And you were alone so I put the two together. She said you’d probably have a coffee as well.”
I chuckled, “I resisted my urge to do that.” “Yeah, so are you ready?” He took my bag, without asking, and took a look at me again before starting his way out of the small coffee shop. I stood up from the chair
“Yeah,” I quickened my pace to catch up with him.
“So where are we off too again?” I asked, maybe it wasn’t the place I was dreading.
“The recording studio,” he grabbed the keys from his pocket as we reached the parking lot. The chill of the air welcomed me, it was almost soothing in a way. Still couldn’t get my mind away from the upcoming events though.
“Let the torture begin,” I whispered to myself.
“What is that?” He stopped and looked at me.
I blushed slightly, “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
- - - - - - - - - - -
"Mandy, everyone can sing. Some badly, but you can most definitely sing," Nick said.
“No, you haven’t hea-“
"I've heard you sing. You're no where near bad." Manda rolled her eyes and gave me this really weird glare, which caused me to smile the slightest.
"Fine, fine. I still don't believe you, but you said Sterling Knight is going to be there right?"
”Yup. We're in studio number sixteen, and he's on his way right now."
I walked slowly as the number 16 approached, rethinking what I had put myself into. Singing, really? I couldn’t even make the chorus in 3rd grade. Let alone sing in an actual song.
Manda pushed me softly as I turned the knob on the door. The room was dark; a deep grey was painted on the walls, and in one of the corners stood chairs and a giant cream sofa. Buttons illuminated the other side, where the ‘music’ happened. Behind it was a glass wall, where a small room with a microphone and instruments stood.
"So, the lyrics are pitches are right there," Manda pointed towards the room. I extended my arm and quickly opened the door. I fumbled with the huge head phones, but managed to get it in time to hear Manda reassure me again.
"Ready?"
I took a deep breath, “Ready as I’ll ever be..”
"I know you though, so I'll pull this screen down, so we can't see you, and you can't see us. That way we'll get the best sound out of you.” She pulled the screen down as I sighed, thanking her by smiling weakly to myself. I closed my eyes for some seconds before opening them up and taking a deep breath.
"Are you ready now?"
"....uh..huh," I took fast breaths, this was just like choir tryouts. My 3rd grade self, standing there, singing. And failing.
God, what was I getting into?
My legs twitched nervously as I began to sing (or read…) the lyrics. I listened to the beats that were constantly booming in my ears.
“Never gonna give you up…” My heart was beating anxiously; in my head I was chanting ‘it’ll all be over soon’ over and over again, reassuring myself to keep my composure.
The door suddenly slammed open and slammed shut so fast, I barely turned my head in time. It took one look to ruin the day, on top of me singing and all.
They didn’t just do this. Nick and Manda, really?
I should have known this. Am I really this oblivious?
Even through the headphones I could hear him pounding on the door, probably thinking the same thing as I. I quickly took off the headphones and set them on the stand.
"Talk. Please. That's all we've been trying to do. We'll be back in about..,” Manda’s voice boomed through the loudspeaker inside, leaving an echo in the small room when she paused, “Five hours.”
Five hours? Five hours?!
A lump rose in my throat, my best bet is just to stay mute during this. What do you do anyway? Do you make small talk? Do you just sit there and do nothing? I opted for the sitting there and doing nothing option, as usual. I grabbed my bag and awkwardly stood there, facing the dark walls instead of the door, where he presumably stood. I could here him messing with the knob, turning it in opposite directions, until finally giving up.
What am I supposed to do? Talk to the guy who broke my heart. Talk to the guy who believes the media instead of me. Talk to the guy who can’t even trust me. No, I couldn’t do that. It took way too long to get over him to do that again.
The silence continued until he cleared his throat, “Ummm well this isn’t awkward.”
I sat down by this point, my legs felt like they were about to give out at this point. I continued to stay mute, tapping my fingers on the phone, pretending to send imaginary texts. Pretending I had something better to do, when in fact I didn’t.
“Yeah,” I murmured in such a soft barely audible voice, I was surprised to see him look down from where he stood
“Why are you here?” his eyes trailed off, “Not being rude or anything. I’m just wondering why you’re here. Does that make sense?”
“Vice versa,” I took a pause.
“You’re staying quiet?” He asked as he slowly sat down on the floor.
“That’s the plan.”
“Oh.”
It was unbearable, sitting there with nothing to do. Being constantly watched. Just being in the small room was horrible enough.
“Fine, I’ll tell you,” I paused again, “Just don’t laugh.”
“Won’t.” This time he stared at me, I felt shivers down my spine, again. He changed, not significantly but he had changed. He didn’t look the same, his eyes got darker somehow. His hair changed, it was shorter, almost reminiscent of the Johawk he had a few years back, but it was like his personality changed. His icy stare was what really caught my eye. It was if he was staring off but in reality he was staring at me. From the times I remembered being with him, this stare was never shown. Or maybe I never noticed it.
I took a deep breath after the long pause, “She wanted me to sing background vocals.”
His eyes changed once again, but this time there seemed to evoke lightness, happiness somehow. He tried to hold back laughter, but you could just tell he was going to explode.
“I told you!” I laughed slightly but then returned to my serious mood, “It’s not that funny.”
The conversation turned silent as we were both looking at our phones. The small space seemed even smaller. I didn’t feel quite as nervous as before though.
I broke the silence, “I should have known this was bound to happen.”
“Hmmm?” he raised his eyebrow.
My stomach twisted, “I don’t know, I just had this gut feeling. Plus the fact I can’t sing and she knows it. And the song was Never Gonna Give You Up.”
He nervously chuckled, “Classic.”
“Can’t believe I’ve been rick roll’d..”
”Mandy?” he said after a slight pause.
“Joe?” I breathed slowly as I said his name. A couple months ago I completely forgot about him fully, I returned to the suburbia life, I even dated some guys. And now, a couple months later, I was saying his name, even speaking to him.
He sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds before uttering, “What happened to us?”
“What happened to you? One day we’re fine then I try to explain what happened and then what? You hung up on me and never called.” I took all my strength to just let it out there.
“I called you! But clearly you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“This is so typical ‘rockstar’ attitude. You think you can get away with anything,” I took a deep breath, “Do you think it just affected you? Because you’re wrong.”
“I called you! But your friend answered and she clearly said you were over me.”
“Huh?” I lowered my voice, “They never told me anything.”
“Wait so you weren’t over me?” Joe seemed to smile the slightest at the thought.
“Wrong. I was over you a long time ago.” It was needed. I had to say that.
“Well I never quite got over you,” he averted his view towards his phone, “In fact this isn’t even on.” He tossed it to me. It wasn’t on.
“So what were you doing this whole time?” I asked.
“Thinking about stuff..”
“You’re avoiding something,” I threw him back the phone, which he managed to catch seamlessly.
“Since when did you become a psychologist?” He raised his eyebrow.
“Right after I became queen of the obvious.”
“I was thinking of an interesting segue to talk. This year without you has been different, and not the good different, the bad different. I missed you.”
I bit my lip and stared off at the floor, “Well if you think about it, our relationship was doomed from the start.”
“How so?” he said as I looked up. We locked eyes for a couple second before I answered.
“For starters I was the talent-less loser who wasn’t looking for fame and you were the stupid rockstar who trusts a low-class gossip website other then a real human being.”
“Ouch,” he winced, “The part of you being talent-less is not true.”
“Really? Then what was true?”
He sighed, “Everything else.”
“Good answer,” I narrowed my eyes, “But don’t think this whole sensitive thing is going to convince me.”
He shot me a puzzling glance, “Convince you what?”
I sighed, this whole thing was confusing me. Actually being confused is an understatement. Could we be friends? It could be a possibility, but I just know it wasn’t possible. And being in a relationship…. That’s impossible. But it was like my body was taking over my mind. I wanted to be back with him. But I didn’t. Do I?
“Convince me that I shouldn’t have forgotten about you.”
 
TO BE CONTINUED.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing this new thing with lyrics. like manda but i can't write lovey dovey things nearly as great as hers. :D
 
yay, see i wrote.

i'm bored.
today was seriously one of the greatest days of my life. :)
 
everything is pretty much self-explanatory.

So i'm getting bored of my daily drink (grande caramel frap). and i'd like to hear some good suggestions. NO STRAWBERRY CRAP. i hate strawberries. needs to have caffeine.
 
you know what... just tell me what you usually order. LMAO.
 
and yes i have a key club meeting tomorrow. HAHAHHA. so i will enjoy the greatly needed caffeine.

last movie - kill bill. i was having a taratino night. reservoir dogs and pulp fiction.
 
last song - money by pink floyd
 
last food - tomatoes with olive oil, vinegar, and salt.
 
last dream - does he look like a bitchh? it was a really crazy dream. blaming taratino for that one.
 
last show - the office.
 
last pair of shoes - amazing targAYYYY ones. :)
 
last nail polish - obviously not chanel. but this deep deep red. like blood red. it's tight. i was getting bored of black.
 
last thing i bought - chocolate
 
last website - facebook. uncomfortable what's for homework chats. this happens daily and it's not cute. just saying.
 
SO ... i'm wicked tired. :)

it is shinning
it is shinning
 
-----
a survey:
 
Do you think you’ll have a Valentine this year?
I can't predict the future, but I'm hoping that's the case.

Are you one of those people who are always happy?
I'm the kind of people that are bi-polar when it comes to emotions and personality. I play dumb and too bubbly... sometimes. But i'm definitely not stupid. word of caution: don't underestimate me.

Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
hahahhahaha, funny.

What were you like as a child ?
Rebellious.

What would life be like without love?
There would be no life.
 

 

 

 

Deep.

Where do you want to get married ?
Hmmmm... that's a nice question.

Where can you see yourself being proposed to?
I want him to be creative. So anywhere goes.

Would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?
Probably.

If the person who hurt you the most showed up at your door with flowers and a card,
and got down on his/her knee and apologized, what would you do?
I'd close the door. Naw just kidding. I'd give them an awkward hug.

What color is your bedspread?
Blue.

Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 144 & read the first sentence.
"All expectations from the brother was now absolutely over." pride and prejudice ftw.

How many candles are in the room you are in?
One.

What was your first word when you were a baby?
Papa.

How old were you in 1996?
Two.

How old will you be in 2016?
Twenty-two.

How long until your birthday?
I don't know. I don't really care either.

How many siblings do you have?
Un.

Are they older or younger than you?
Younger.

Are your grandparents still alive?
On my mom's side. But on my dad's only my grandpa does.

How many orange objects are there in the room you are in?
Five.

Have you ever run a stoplight?
Nope. Don't plan to either.

Do you have any children?
Yes, I adopted ten children from Korea. South, to go into specifics.

Do you have any relatives in the military currently?
Nope. Most of my family lives outside of the United States.

When was the last time you stayed up all night?
Last week.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you hung out with?
Nicholas.

Person of the same sex?
Alexa.

What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.

Do you like them?
Yeah.

What was the last thing you drank?
Mango juice.

Are you better at math or art?
Math, AHAHHAA.

Science or History?
History!

Who was your 4th grade teacher?
Mrs. Johnson.
I hated her.

Who was your best friend in 7th grade?
Ummmmm Sabina.

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all?
Not sure.

Who was the last person to call you?
Sabina ass-dialed me.

Did you smile in your driver’s license picture?
I haven't gotten it yet. But I probably will.

Do you have a job?
Yep.

What is your favorite smell?
Dior cherie.

What’s your favorite brand of gum?
Orbit makes me puke. I don't know.

Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling?
Nope.

What color is the shirt you are wearing?
Black.

What do you think of the 1980’s?
It was chill.

Have you ever dated someone more than 2 years older than you?
No.

How about 2 years younger?
No.

What brand of shampoo do you use?
Tresseme and pantene.

How long is your hair?
Below the boobs. Almost reaches my belly button.

If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be?
My...... I don't know.

Is there a box of tissues in the room you are in right now?
Nope.

What time is it?
8:17 Ugh.

What color are the walls in your kitchen?
Stupid Blue.

Have you ever had a car accident?
Nope, but I've been in plenty.

Do you have any major plans for today?
Chill.

What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names?
AAR [HAHHAA.]

Do you know anyone named Tyler?
Mhhhmm.

Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.

If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do?
Go to spain and cuba. and chill.

Describe your day so far in three words:
unproductive, okay, chill.

Look at your nails; Do they need to be cut?
Nope.

What is the last gift you received and from who?
Starburst from myself.

About how many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8, cool.

Can you crack you toes?
Yep.

List three things near you:
Red nailpolish, itouch, cellphone.

What was the last thing you watched on the T.V?
This drama doctor show. It seems boring.

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to?
The song above.

Is your hair naturally straight?
It's naturally wavy.

Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile?
Nicholas.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t?
Yes!

Is there something you believe in that you think nobody else believes in?
Yes!

Can you come up with a theoretical explanation for everything?
Perhaps.

Is there something mysterious about you?
Plenty.

What artist have you been listening to the most lately?
Hmmm many.

Do you think music can change someones’ immediate outlook on life?
Yes.

Do you believe in learning something new everyday?
of course.

If you got a red rose, what would you do with it?
Put it in my bedside table.
 
------
hi.