He entered the apartment. He could hear the sweet melody mellow out the small apartment, but he couldn’t identify the song. It was familiar, yet new all the same. He let his messenger bag down, looked at himself in the mirror. He looked scruffed up, it would be noticeable that he was high. He prayed for an understanding mood today. He took his shoes of, threw them in the closet with the rest of his shoes. He didn’t hear anything apart from the music, maybe she wasn’t even there. Maybe she went for ice cream like she does sometimes.
He went to the kitchen, and got some juice out. He drank, and ate the grapes that she always leaves in a bowl. She always insists on a healthier diet. But she’s the first one that falters and ends up getting a big burger with tons of bacon. At least she tries. He looks at the picture of them together that’s on the fridge door. He remembers how he felt, being with her for the first time. It was magic, she was such an interesting girl to know. She looked so happy in that picture, she was so happy back then.
He looked at himself in another mirror, his eyes were still giving him away. He looked for the eye drops, after a while he found them and entered the bathroom. It was pretty hard to get them in, he hated eye drops. But not more than she did, every time she gets allergies, he had to give her the eye drops. She always made it next to impossible. But she’d give him a kiss afterwards, and apologized with a hug. He wasn’t even mad, he just laughed there was no way he could get mad at her because of that. She liked that about him.
He took a piss, then checked himself again. The redness was reducing. What was it with that song? It was making him sad, yet happy, it was weird. He went to the balcony, and took a couple of deep breaths. He looked down, and remembered the first time she looked down. The first time they saw the apartment together. She got dizzy, and held onto him. Her grip on his skin felt so natural.
Even though at the time, they were wearing multiple layers of clothing, since it was winter. He could feel her touch on his skin. And it was always natural. He then sat down on the sofa they had on the balcony. And remembered the time they fell asleep there. It was around March, and they were both kind of sick. They’d eaten soups she had supposedly made, but he knew she bought canned soups. She was sneezing a lot, and had a blankie for that. It was the cutest thing in the world. He didn’t care about he germs it would spread. He held onto her that day like that was the only thing that was going to make her feel better. She got better, and so did he. Even after they fell asleep in the balcony, and spent a night in the cold. She kept him warm.
He entered after a while. Checked once again, it was almost gone. The eye drops had helped. He walked to the living room, and suddenly everything felt like the time they’d made love in the living room floor. Covered by a sea of sheets, and all the pillows they could find. They made a fort, and after that they made love in it. It was retarded, because they ended up destroying the fort. But they laughed more than anything. It felt so real, that time, all the time it had felt so real. The love, every time it had felt so real. He had started crying, but didn’t notice, until stopped remembering the fort. She’d loved him so much, so strong, all that time. He didn’t feel like he deserved that now.
He stopped crying, and checked himself again. Just a tad more. He noticed she had picked up the mail. He started to look trough them. Bill, bill, bill, bill, Curves coupon, Weight Watchers coupon. What? Did everyone think she was fat? Because she wasn’t. She was so skinny he felt like had to protect her all the time. His heart started jumping, he loved her so much. So much, that at times like this it hurt. He started crying again. It was that damn song. It was messing with his head. It was obviously one of her songs, he’d heard it before. He remembered when she last heard it, she was almost depressed. She was so sad, she would only listen to that song, and hold onto him, crying her eyes out.
He checked himself, it really didn’t matter now. He was crying. He entered the bedroom, where the music was coming from. There she was, hair messed up, in one of his old Pink Floid T shirts, and her favorite pair of black panties. She had her mascara and eye liner messed up as well, she’d been crying. He cried ever harder when he saw this. He got on the bed, and held her. Kissing her wherever he could, wrapping his arms around her and holding her so that she could feel his love around her. All of his love.
“I’m tired of crying.” She said, and he sobbed.
“I know.” He said, and turned her around. Her eyes were puffy, red and tired looking. She was sad beyond his comprehension. He kissed her forehead, and she kissed his hands. He kissed her eyes, she kissed his fingers. He kissed her nose, she kissed his chin. Then they looked into each other’s eyes.
“You did it again.” She said, and tears ran out of her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I love you.” He cried, and he really did love her. He loved her more than anything in this world. He kept messing up, they both did. But she loved him, and he loved her. She buried herself in his arms, He pulled her face up, and he kissed her. He’d hurt her, so many times. And she’s hurt him too. But it was undeniable that they needed each other in other to breathe, love, and live properly…
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