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[bai]


I gulped, my hand struggling to hold onto the phone as it almost slipped out of my hand. It'd been awhile since Luke and I had separated, both of us agreeing that we needed some space. I could barely answer his questions, my voice dry and my lips unable to mutter much. His sudden call had thrown me off balance. I gave him an empty excuse and hung up quickly. His voice still gave me the shivers.
 
I slid back into the cafe booth, where I sat alone, and hummed silently as I watched the steam above my coffee cup fade as it cooled. I casually flipped through my book, finding no comfort in it's pages. Desperate, I took a packet of Sweet and Low and tried playing the sugar packet game by myself, pointlessly flicking the little bag back and forth on the table.
 
Treating myself to breakfast wasn't working as brilliantly as I'd hoped. Instead of enjoying my muffin I poked mercilessly at it, leaving hundreds of tiny crumbs on the table. 
 
I checked the time and decided that I'd skip work today, knowing Angela would hound me about my relationship anyways. I mentally made a note to check the job listings in the newspaper and online, as it was truly inevitable I'd quit sooner or later.

There wasn't much of an explanation for the events that occurred within the past few weeks. Luke and I had been falling apart, struggling to keep alive a love that had slowed. Whatever happened it could be solved with some time away, we'd concluded. 

I'd left his apartment that morning and the only thing I could retain was a certain glimmer in his eyes, a faint something that symbolized what I hoped was a bit of love. A little bit saved up for when he knew I'd come back. A bit of love waiting for me. The problem was that the rest of him wasn't sure. And all of me was still undecided.



- lily
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