WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 22: Daria is have all the girls come to her flat for a Christmas party tonight!
I dialed Daria's number and waited for her voicemail to pick up. I would've loved to go out tonight and party with my friends, but that wasn't possible with a baby at home. "Hey, Daria, it's Serena. Sorry I can't go to your party tonight. I hope you understand. I'll be by sometime tomorrow to drop off your present. Merry Christmas."
I hung up the phone and walked into Lucie's nursery. She was peacefully sleeping, and I smiled at her beauty. She was everything I could've wanted in a little girl; besides the fussing, of course. I softly ran my hand against her cheek, and she stirred and started to whine. When she opened her eyes and noticed me standing there, she smiled.
"Hi, baby girl." I whispered. "It's Momma."
I stood there for a while longer, watching her as she watched me. After a few minutes she drifted back off to sleep, and I, tired as well, decided to try to get some sleep.
I snuggled up next to Lewis who put his arm around me.
"Hi, baby." He said softly. "Everything okay?"
I nodded. "Fine."
"Lucie sleeping?"
"Yeah." I said.
"What's wrong?" Lewis asked, looking at me.
"I've been wondering that about you for weeks now." I said and bit my lip. Lewis hated confrontation, I knew. I prayed he would understand.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because." I sighed. "You've been so... distant. You never want to help out with Lucie and you get mad at me when I want to go out. I missed an awesome Christmas party tonight that all my friends are at for you. I just don't get it."
Lewis sighed and looked away. "You're right, Serena." I was shocked he actually agreed with me. "I'm scared that I can't be a father -- that I don't know how to be one. This is all knew to me... I don't even know how to be a good boyfriend. I'm an awful father to Lucie and an awful boyfriend to you. I'm so, so sorry, Serena. I love you and Lucie so much, you have to believe that."
I nodded. "I know you do." I honestly didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry. I'll try to be a better father. Lucie deserves better." Lewis looked at me. "I love you so much, with everything I have."
I kissed him. "I love you, too. Forever."
We made love and for once I was convinced that everything would be okay again.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 23: Free day!
No story, sorry.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 24: Ada is having her annual Christmas blow-out at the Walden. The girl does parties for a living, so it's sure to be a blast. Attire is semi-formal, and don't forget to bring a gift to donate to the Jimmy Fund.
I woke up to find the bed next to me empty, and the house quiet except for the occasional clang of plates and silverwear. I groggily walked into the nursery to find that Lucie wasn't in her bed. I walked out into the kitchen to find Lucie in her playpen and Lewis cooking pancakes at the stove.
"What's going on?" I asked. This was too strange.
"I'm cooking you breakfast. It was supposed to be breakfast in bed, but you're already up..."
I grinned and walked over to kiss him. I put my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Lew."
"You're welcome, babe." He said and flipped a pancake.
"It smells delicious." I observed and picked Lucie up. She was still so little, I was getting worried. "Hey, L, do you think she's too little?"
"What do you mean?" He asked, now completely focused on me.
"Like, is there something wrong with her? Because she's so little still?"
"I didn't really notice... Should we take her to the doctors?"
I looked down at my little baby girl and worried.
{Bad story, sorry.}