+ Jake & Molly
+ Our Love is Magical
"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do"
Molly wandered about her room, slowly and mechanically. She was finishing the last of her packing, since her flight home was later that day. She had woken up early, wrapped tightly in Jake’s arms, and had quietly snuck out of his room. Part of her had wanted to stay there for as long as she could, but she just couldn’t handle laying there anymore. This was the day, her last day; she was out of time. The year had flown by, and taking a seat on her bed she recalled some of her favorite memories. She was going to miss Jake, that much she was sure of. But would he miss her? Maybe, but after today she wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up hating her. And why would you miss someone you hate?
Sighing quietly to herself she stood back up and resumed packing.
Waking up, Jake smiled down at the bed; figuring Molly would still be there under his arm. But once he blinked away the sleep, he saw that she was gone. Frowning, he sat up and checked the clock on his nightstand before getting out of bed.
Only wearing his pajama pants and his hair all messed up and going in different directions, he strolled down the hall towards her room. He paused in the door way, smiling as he admired her for one of the last times until summer was over. "need any help?" He offered finally, a tired but loving smile on his face.
Molly heard Jake’s door open, followed by his footsteps down the hall. She didn’t stop what she was doing, or bother to look up at him when he reached her open door. “No, I’m just about done. But thanks anyways.” She told him while sliding her sketch books into the bottom of her suitcase, below her clothes.
Her hands felt clammy, and so she rubbed them against her sweatpants. Was this the moment? She didn’t want it to be. She wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him until she had to leave; but that wasn’t exactly how breakups went.
Jake nodded at her words, not sure what he should say now. Finally he decided on what to do and he walked up behind her and slipped his bare arms around her waist from behind.
"Your flight leaves at one right?" He murmured against the back of her shoulder. His mouth enjoyed the warm feeling of her shoulder blade as he soaked in holding her for what was one of the last times until summer was over. Or so he thought.
Molly's whole body stiffened when Jake wrapped his arms around her. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to feel safe and loved in his embrace, not scared and alone. "Yea so I have to be there by eleven." She told him quietly and slipped out of his grasp when he kissed at her shoulder
She turned around and faced him then, a pained expression on her face. "Jake... We need to talk." She told him and took a seat on the foot of her bed Bedford casting her eyes down to her hands that she had placed in her lap. "I don't know how to say this..." She bit the inside of her cheek while trying to find her voice.
"Oh okay." He nodded his head before frowning a bit when she pulled out of his embrace. "I'm gonna drive you, right?" He asked, wanting to go with her so he could spend as much time with her as he could. Glancing at her carrying on bag, he smirked to himself knowing that he had put a nice and loving letter in there for her to see when she was on the plane.
Her words and tone of voice caught him off guard. When she took a seat on her bed, he kneeled down in front of her and placed his hands on her legs; a kind smile on his face although his stomach was tying in knots. "Babe, if it’s about last night; don't worry about it. I understand and I'm not mad or anything." He reassured her lovingly, squeezing her leg reassuringly; figuring that was what she was wanting to talk about.
Molly didn’t answer him when he asked if he was going to drive her. She wanted him to, so that she could stay with him as long as possible, but she knew that once she said what she needed to he wouldn’t want to be anywhere near her.
She watched as Jake crouched down in front of her and she couldn’t stop herself from placing her hands on top of his. “I know you’re not mad, and that’s not what this is about.” She whispered, unable to meet his gaze. She thought by now she’d be in tears, but maybe she had cried herself out. The thought of this moment had haunted her dreams every night since she’d seen Wesley, and last night hadn’t been the first time she’d shed a few tears about the horrible situation she’d managed to put herself in.
“I…” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I think we should breakup.” She blurted out finally, closing her eyes. She wanted to squeeze his hands, and hold him there with her, but she knew that he was going to pull away soon.
Jake furrowed his brows when she said that last night wasn't what this conversation was about. He opened his mouth to ask her what it was about then, but she answered his silent question. His heart stopped and dropped into his stomach which was turning in knots. No. This was a joke. She was kidding. She couldn't possibly... He gave her a nervous smile, waiting for her to yell "Just kidding!" and kiss him. But it never came.
Standing up, his eyes were full of tears but he did nothing to hide them. He was speechless. What was he supposed to say? What did she expect him to say? The only thing that came to his mind was pain and confusion. Pain that made him just wanna curl up into himself and cry for days. And confusion. Things had been going great. They were planning on visiting each other over the summer then going to college together in the fall. Had he done something? Had last night been awful? Was that why she said never mind and now was breaking up with him? Had he not been good enough last night? Was that why she stopped? She could just tell he'd be bad at it? And was that why she was leaving him now?
"W-Why?" He managed to croak out, the tears rolling down his cheeks freely now. She wasn't looking at him. She didn't even have the decency to look him in the eye when she tore his heart into two. He felt used. She had been about to take his virginity last night and now she was leaving. Was that her plan? Had she wanted to get his hopes up and then tear them down with such cruelty just to watch him fall apart?
When he stood and took his hands off her legs she balled her hands into little fists against her thighs. She could feel him staring at her, but it wasn’t until he spoke that she found the courage to look up at him. His cheeks were already stained with tears, and she felt her heart break in her chest. The urge to wrap him in her arms was overwhelming, but somehow she managed to remain seated where she was. Her expression reflected his pain; this was just as hard for her to do as it was for him to hear.
Her lips parted as if she was going to say something but no words came. She felt sick to her stomach for being the one to cause him so much pain. She hated the way he was looking at her, and she hated herself for what she was doing to him. But most importantly, she hated Wesley with all her being. It was his fault, everything was his fault. She had never wished him harm, even after all he had put her through; she had gone a long with it after all, and so took responsibility for what she hadn’t stopped. But now, seeing Jake like this she wanted to cause him as much pain as he was causing them.
“I just don’t think we should be together anymore.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to stop it from quivering; she didn’t want to cry, not again. “You’re an amazing person Jake, and you deserve so much more.”
He shook his head at her words, not believing them. No. This wasn’t happening. This was a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare that he would soon wake up from; right? He hoped so. When she explained that he was amazing and deserved better, he shook his head. No. No one was better than Molly. And if he was as amazing as she claimed, why the he.ll was she leaving him?
“Wh-what did I do wrong?” He asked her, pain dripping from his voice, “Just tell me. Tell me what I did and I’ll fix it. I promise.” He begged her, the tears not stopping from rolling down his face. He had been abused physically and emotionally all his life by his dad. But none of that compared to the pain he felt now. The girl he loved. The girl he had almost given himself to was leaving him. What hurt was that she had said she loved him. She had led him on… and it turned out to be a lie.
Why? Why would she lead him on like that? What did she have to gain? So she could go back and tell her friends back home about how she duped some idiot normal kid into thinking she loved him? Was it some big bet or a joke to her and her friends? Then he thought of something. Wes. They had shared a hug… maybe she still liked him. “I-Is it Wes?” He croaked out, “D-Do you still have feelings for him?” His voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes locked on his feet as he sniffled quietly, trying to stop the tears. Didn’t need her going back home and laughing with her friends about how he had cried like a baby.
Molly shook her head sadly, and turned her eyes to the wall. She didn’t want to see him like this, especially when she was the reason for his pain. “There’s nothing to fix,” She told him quietly and closed her green eyes. “This is for the best.” She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince; him, or herself.
Upon hearing Wes’ name she looked up at him, her mouth parting in a small ‘o’. At first she thought that he knew, but before she could respond he asked if she still had feelings for the boy. She had feelings for him alright, but they weren’t the same ones Jake was worried about. “No,” She breathed out, a bit hurt that he even had to ask. He knew what Wesley had put her through, and exactly how she felt about him.
Jake sniffled the last of his tears and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before looking up at her finally. “How? How the he.ll is this for the best?” He asked her, the frustration clear in his voice. “If there is nothing to fix. Nothing I did wrong. Then why the h.ell are you breaking up with me?” He demanded, clearly confused. He wasn’t yelling at her, but his voice was strong. Jake didn’t curse often, so when he used the word he.ll, especially twice; you knew he was upset. Well more than upset.
Shaking his head, he turned towards the door and walked out of the room, his eyes fogging up again with tears. But then he thought of something and he turned back to ask her, “When did you know you wanted to break up with me Molly? Before or after you said you were ready to have se.x with me?” He asked her softly with pain in his voice, needing to know. Had she done that just to hurt him even more or had he been that bad that she had to leave him?
Molly flinched at the sound of his voice and she felt her body tense as she looked up at him again, her anguish obvious in her eyes. She didn’t have an answer for him, at least not one she could say. If she told him that it was because Wes had threatened his life, well she wasn’t sure what he would do. He’d probably want to go to the police, and she had a feeling that that wouldn’t do them any good. When she didn’t say anything, and simply just stared up at him he turned to leave and she looked down at her hands until he stopped and spoke again.
His next question hurt, and she suddenly wished she had just stayed in her room last night. “This has nothing to do about last night,” Her voice was quiet and weak, “I wanted to do that with you last night because I knew it would have meant something for the both of us.” She knew that she hadn’t really answered his question, but it was the truth.
He crossed his arms over his broad and bare chest. “You didn’t answer my question Molly.” Jake pointed out to her, his voice called. “If you’re gonna break up with me, the least you can do is be honest and tell me if you had decided to break up with me before or after you said you wanted to sleep with me.” He added in. As he waited for her to answer he thought of something else, “Obviously it wouldn’t have meant that much to you. Considering you’re breaking up with me.” He pointed out to her, his voice cold; but the pain was still evident.
Molly dropped her eyes to the floor. He was right, and she knew it. She owed him honesty, but she couldn’t give him that without retelling her conversation with Wesley. She was trying to think of how to answer his question; there was no way to answer it positively. But then he spoke again.
Her mouth fell ajar at his words, and she felt like she had been struck hard across the face. Never once had Jake ever said anything hurtful to her, and now he was lashing back at her. “Don’t tell me what it would have meant to me,” She didn’t hide the pain in her voice. “Do you really think I would have tried to sleep with you if it didn’t mean anything to me?” She asked and closed her eyes for a short moment. The question. She still hadn’t answered his question. Opening her eyes again she found his gaze and took in a deep breath before speaking. “Before.” She knew it was out of context now, but there was no doubt in her mind that he would understand.
“I don’t know what to think anymore Molly. I didn’t think you’d hurt me like this. But I was wrong about that. Who knows what else I’ve been wrong about when it comes to you.” His words were harsh, and he knew it. But in his mind, she deserved it. She deserved hurting because she had done this. It was her choice to leave him.
There was a long silence when she said that she had decided to leave him before she had said she wanted to have sex. “So you were gonna sleep with me… and make me think that it meant something to me and make me think you loved me, then the next day break up with me?” He asked, just wanting to make sure he understood. This was sickening. And cruel. Shaking his head, he back out of her room slowly. “I… I can’t believe you’d do that Molly. What type of person does that to someone?” there was such sadness, such pain and heartbreak in his voice and his face as he backed out of the room, tears in his eyes once more. “At least you thought about my feelings enough to back out of it.” He murmured, “So… thanks… I guess for… for thinking about that and stopping.” He finished his thought, some softness in his tone but then he turned his back to her and walked out of the room, sniffling quietly.
Molly wrapped her arms around herself as he spoke, bringing tears to her eyes. She remained silent, taking everything he said. She deserved every word that fell from his lips, and if this was what he needed then she would take it. “I did love you,” She whispered out as he tears streaked her face. How could he think that she hadn’t loved him? She bowed her head as he continued his harsh rant, her shoulders shaking as her tears came more freely.
She looked up just in time to watch him leave and before she even knew what she was doing she sunk to the floor, her head in her hands as she cried. She stayed like that for a long time, but eventually she had to force herself up to finish her packing. It was ten o’clock by the time she’d finished packing, and her eyes were still red and puffy. Slowly she made her way out into the hall, and started for Jake’s room. Touching her hand to the knob she went to open the door but stopped when she heard someone crying on the other side. It was enough to make her have to fight back more tears and quickly she turned and stalked back into her room and grabbed her suitcase and backpack. There was nothing left for her to say to Jake, and so she turned to leave her room, pausing by the desk. She hesitated for a moment until finally she removed the promise ring he had given her and placed it down. He would find it, eventually. She just wasn’t sure what he would do with it. Part of her wanted to keep it, to remind her of her time with Jake. But she didn’t feel she deserved to keep such a beautiful present after what she had done.
‘Liar.’ Was what he wanted to say to her when she whispered that she did love him. Instead he shook his head slowly, his head hung low as he walked back to his room where he closed the door and sunk to the floor in front of it. With his back against the wooden door, he cradled his head in his hands as he sobbed; his whole body shaking with heart break as the tears flowed freely down his face. She said she had loved him. How could she say she loved him but still break up with him? It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t possible. She was a liar. She used him and she was a liar.
As he sat there in his room, he thought of what he had written on that piece of paper for her that he had tucked inside her purse. A love note. One that would keep her company during the summer days and nights when he couldn’t. He had re-read it a thousand times as he wrote it, wanting to make sure he had said all he needed to say and said it perfectly. He could almost recite it by memory now and he had a vision in his mind of what would happen. She’d reach into her purse to pull out her iPod for the plane ride back home and her hand would touch an envelope. Confused and curious, she’d pick it up and pull it out and see that her name was written on it in his hand writing. Inside there would be two pages filled out; front and back. And she would read it silently, probably laugh to herself at how much of a fool he was. And this is what it would say:
I’m not very good at these sort of things… but I wanted you to have a little part of me with you this summer; so when you got lonely you could pull this out and read it; and know that I still loved you and that I missed you too. It’s funny, all my past summers have flown by so fast. But I think this one will be the longest one I’ve ever had. And I know why. The summers before this one were fun and I enjoyed them. I won’t enjoy one minute of these three months without you and I’m not looking forward to them at all. I wish I could re-wind the clock and turn back the calendar and go back to that day in September when you first got here.
You wanna know what my first impression of you was? Well I mean besides short. =P Haha kidding. But in all seriousness, my first impression of you was that you looked like such a kind and loving person. I was worried before you got here, about how you’d be. I worried if we’d get along or if you’d hate me. Turned out you became my best friend. You supported me through everything, you were there for me whenever I needed you. And you made me the happiest I have ever been in my whole life Molly. So thank you and I hope…I hope that I was able to give you just a fraction of the amount of happiness you have given me this past year.
I love you Molly West. And I want you to know that I’m gonna be right here, waiting for you to come back. And when you do, I’m gonna wrap you up in the biggest and tightest hug you’ve ever had and I’m never letting you go. Ever. You mean the world to me Molly and I am going to miss seeing your bright and shiny face every morning at the breakfast table, and I’m going to miss your sweet kisses every night before we head to bed. I’m gonna miss your laugh and the way your nose scrunches up when you stick your tongue out at me.
I’m gonna miss you. But I’ll see you soon Molly. And until then, just know that I love you and I am missing you every single second of every day.