There's always this feeling you get in the pit of your stomach after doing something that's really meaningful, whether its for you or for someone else. You have so many different types of feelings and emotions, but there's just these moments where you can't describe what it is.
This tattoo means a lot more than just having my deceased siblings name on my skin. It makes me feel like she's always going to be here with me, going on these journeys in life along with me. Having her going through every loop or around every corner that I'm seemingly continuing to go through both good and bad ones. I'm living in her memory, making choices and life changing and affecting decisions. Doing things that she never got to do and unfortunately never will get to. I'm dedicating part of my life to her. That's a big thing for me to do. It's an important thing to let her live alongside with me. I might sound completely psychotic and delusional. My feelings most the time are to deep and thought out. That can both ruin you and make you a better person.
I'm not sure if I can't quite remember much of Niall's and I's discussion after leaving the tattoo parlor. I've been in a daze of emotions that nobody else can break me from. We've made our way to the concert venue already. The other girlfriends and the guys and I are all gathered in their dressing room backstage, talking nonsense really. Killing time and having a laugh. It's not often we are all together like this considering we all have different lives to live.
"Beth and I were talking the other day about going on holiday. We were thinking that we should all go together. It would be good to get away for a little while." Harry announced.
Bethany is Harry's girlfriend. They had met a couple days after Niall and I had. She's absolutely stunning. Long legs, skinny, blonde, blue eyed. Just the description of a perfect girl. She's really good for him, and she makes him happy and that's really all that matters.
"That actually sounds so nice right about now. We deserve a little break from the hectic mess that is our lives." Zayn explained.
"I'd love it." I expressed, imagining just laying on a beach chair getting a tan as we spoke. "I'm in." I announced followed by everyone else producing the same word choice.
We discussed sunny beaches and different vacation locations. All agreed on somewhere tropical and warm.
After discussing it for about 30 minutes longer it was time for the guys to get ready to go onstage, meaning Bethany, Perrie, Eleanor, Danielle and myself were to head to the standing area where the boys were to send any of there friends or family attending.
We chatted the whole concert, discussing many things including a well needed shopping trip we all needed to take part on for both necessities and the not so much necessities.
We slipped into a side door with a body guard trying to get out of there as soon as possible, not really intrigued by the mobbing that we would most likely endure in if we didn't take the action we were. It's always insane at their concerts. Girls just lose all sense of self restraint and boundaries of other people around you. These girls are so majorly in love with the boys that they will do just about anything to get even a better glance at them from their seats. I love their fans to death. They are helping the boys fulfill their dreams and support them. But sometimes they don't really realize that there are certain limits that they shouldn't cross. I can't even count on both hands of how many times I've been pushed or shoved out of the way.
Finally making our way backstage we all hung out a little, waiting for the guys to finish changing and packing up the things they brought with them and we headed back to the hotel.
Niall and I were the last to be rushed through the doors to the lobby of the hotel in a matter of seconds. Trying to avoid the massive crowd that has seemed to be growing over the past couple of days.
I entered the hotel lobby and a bone shaking shiver crawled up my spine making me freeze in my spot. Niall looked at me weird and started talking but I couldn't here him nor was capable to say anything. Something isn't right. Something is either terribly wrong or I'm suddenly very ill.
Have you ever had just this gut feeling of something not being right or something really bad is about to happen? If you've ever felt this you'd know how I was feeling. There just was something wrong, something I couldn't know of yet.
I turned my gaze around the lobby. It was less busy than normal due to it being the late hours of the night and merely the early morning hours. I was trying to see if anything popped out to my vision, but nothing immediately did.
"Chloe? Chloe?! Babe what is wrong? You look like you're about to get sick." Were the first words I heard from Niall after returning from the faze I was in.
"I'm not sure.. Something's wrong. I don't know what yet, I can sense it." I told him worriedly.
He looked confused yet a little terrified all at once. His eyes looked across the lobby, in search of the same thing that I was unable to find. Everything seemed normal. Normal for what time of night it was. "Let's just get up to our room." He said gripping onto my hand and leading me to the elevator.
We made our way up to our floor and headed for our room. And then I saw him, seated on the floor right in front of Niall and I's room.