so sad right now because i've spent five hours on the internet. doing absolutely nothing -__-

ugh, this is not what i pictured my life to be. instead, i'm sluggish, living a mediocre life. not to toot my own horn but i get perfect scores on my exams and such. yet, NOBODY acknowledges it. i want to be remembered, for once. i thought being a good student would bring all of that in high school, but it turns out pretty much nobody cares. It's either I don't feel like bragging or discussing my scores in public in fear that others while start judging me and telling me to become more modest with a mix of jealousy and insecurity about themselves. well, in middle school i told my scores freely... but now i'm like shutting up about it... and pretty much i'm a nobody in high school. 

so now i'm trying to look in for some volunteer service places to commit my hours to during the weekend mornings so i won't end up sluggish like this -__-. Basically wasting my time and questioning too much about my futile existence. 

i have too many expectations from myself, my mom said. I think it's a combination of ADHD and an overactive imagination.
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