collab with the fabulous: @sarahstardom
Point of No Return
-Monday, August 12, 2013-
After a week of emotions running high, I just wanted to relax and not think about Dom, Isa or Lyla. I wanted to get away from my past and just think about what I had planned for the next week. I knew that I needed to make up my training sessions with Jack and explain to him that Dom was just a friend from Los Angeles.
I also needed to talk to Lovisa. She would be disappointed that I hadn’t been training. My father called her on random occasions asking her how I was doing. I didn’t want her to have to lie to him just to defend me.
“Katia!” A voice outside my door called as it knocked on the door.
I ran and opened it to find Lovisa on the other side impatient as ever as she tapped her foot. “Well, are you going to let me in or not?” she said quickly pushing right past m, not bothering for a response. Two security details followed after her positioning themselves by my front door.
“Do we really need them?” I asked pointing at them.
"They're more useful than you think" she stated, glancing at the two men that held their position at the door. They looked menacing with their stone-cold faces and built physique.
"But, really, do we need them?" I raised an eyebrow, looking at the two men. Lovisa glanced between the men and me and shook her head.
"Please, I didn't come to see you for us to discuss whether security details are needed" she responed, running a hand through her blonde hair.
I stayed silent, still studying at the security personnel. "Do you know why I'm here?" Lovisa questioned, her eyes scanning the room. She was totally surveying the room, memorizing all possible escape routes.
"Yes," I nodded, sitting down on the couch. "I haven't been to training in a while,” I admitted and would have continued if she hadn’t cut me off.
"I hope you have a good reason. A really good reason.” Lovisa frowned wanting an answer now.
I sighed preparing to explain what happened this entire week when I stopped. “You know, Jack came earlier this week wanting to know why as well. You two planned this!” I accused pointing at her.
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “Nothing was planned. I didn’t expect him to talk to you after he talked to me.” She flipped her hair back and settled into one of my armchairs. “But, I want that answer. No changing the subject.”
That diversion didn’t get me anywhere. Rats, I should have known that Lovisa would see right through it.
I launched right into the story, starting for the moment I saw Lyla, even explaining her story and her connection. Lovisa needed to know everything seeing as she is the underboss. I stopped myself from crying multiple times because I had no desire for her to see me cry. I would be weak and vulnerable – something I did not want her to view me as.
“That’s the story. That’s why I haven’t been going this week.” I fell deeper into the couch. “My brain is fried and I barely got through our last training session.”
She gave me a quizzical look. “Not mine I hope?”
I shook my head. “No, no! Jack’s! We worked with guns…and you know how I feel about guns.”
Lovisa wore a look of disappointment. “Your feelings about guns? Your feelings about guns?” Her voice rose, but not to screaming proportions. She was even more intimidating now than before.
My eyes darted back to my door thinking about coming up with an excuse to flee. Damn her for having two bodyguards. I wouldn’t put her past her that she had the whole building covered with Jack somewhere in the thick of it; he was a mercenary after all.
“Yes, my feelings about them,” I retorted flippantly. “I can’t touch them, let alone pick them up. It’s hard enough to shoot them at dummy people. I’d rather perfect my usage with a knife.”
“Think about it Katia. Think long and hard,” she stated, her voice calm and even. “In this business, you are rarely within range to use a knife, let alone stab someone. Guns, that’s what this business is all about.”
“Unless you know how to throw a knife…” I trailed off knowing I was in a losing battle.
"We're not like people in action films, Katia,” she scolded me like I was a child.
"I'm sure it's possible though,” I continued on subject of knives when I really should have. It just slipped. Lovisa shook her head in disgust.
"You're still thinking about it?" She accused her, crossing one leg over the other. "Katia, knives are out of the picture. In a fight, even coming face to face with someone, you will be struggling in battle to even concentrate on stabbing the attacker in the chest."
"Think about it" she continued before I could get a word in. "Think about it for a moment, picture yourself in sudden combat. Would you have time to take out a knife and swiftly stab them in the heart? In that exact second, that person could have you in a choke hold, against the floor or even worse."
“I get it!” I screamed in annoyance. She was totally doing this on purpose. “I get it; knives are out of the picture now,” I said in a voice that was similar to hers.
“Don’t mock me,” she growled. “I’m helping you out of the kindness of my heart. You’re lucky. There’s no one else in this clan that would put up with this attitude. You’re acting like a spoiled little brat.”
“Well I’m sorry that I have emotions and that it takes time to process them. I’m not some robot or vampire,” I replied sarcastically.
“You have emotions for a reason,” she started. “Don’t let them cloud your judgment or get in the way of what you need to do. Emotions can be a good thing but they can be a bad thing at the same time.” It seemed like she spoke from experience, but I didn’t have the energy to call her out on it.
“I know, I know. Harness them. Use my emotions to my advantage. Blah…blah…blah,” I retorted not in the mood to be lectured. Jack lectured me earlier this week and I didn’t feel like going through it again.
Staring on from the armchair, Lovisa’s look was pure disgust. It didn’t help that I wore that “what are you gonna do now” expression, but still, it was obvious how much she wanted to yell at me.
"You continue to speak like that and you'll be answering your father's questions such as, why I will refuse to work with you," Lovisa warned bitterly. I knew she was serious, but that didn’t stop me from saying my next comment.
"This lecture is a waste of time, Lovisa. I get it, I get it,” I said, my arms crossed over my chest.
"A waste of time?" She scoffed. She started to laugh, echoing through the rooms before she stopped, turning completely serious with a disgusted look on her face.
"If that's how you feel,” she began, turning her back to study what was on my walls, “Don't bother with the training sessions" she finished calmly shrugging her shoulders.
I balked at her. What? She couldn't be serious. Of all people, Lovisa was the one who made it clear I needed these when I first arrived. Now she just wants to up and stop them over a little fight? I mean, I am being childish but that doesn't mean you escalate it this far.
"You can't be serious..." I muttered, running a hand through my hair, a nervous habit. I couldn't lose Lovisa. I couldn't lose yet another thing in my life.
Right when I thought I didn't have any more tears in my system, they come right back up. Unable to keep my composure, I jet to the bedroom and collapse on the bed, silent sobs erupting from my mouth. This wasn't fair. I shouldn't have picked a fight with the one person that would stay true to her word. I guess I was just tried of being the little puppy that everyone looks down on.
Footsteps echoed through the hall until they landed in my makeshift bedroom. The bed suddenly dipped with the new weight on it, but I stayed tucked in my little ball. Weak little girl image be damned. This argument was done. Lovisa wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into her, allowing my sobs to ruin her stylish (and expensive) outfit.
"I'm sorry Lovisa," I choked out turning to face her, my eyes probably bloodshot and red rimmed. Lovisa didn’t say anything which made my embarrassment all that more worse.
"Look, my stupid emotions getting the way again," I choked out, shaking her head, ashamed.
"Stop it, Katia. It's okay to cry. It's not illegal,” she reassured me, smiling at me as I peeked through my hair that covered my face.
"Do you cry?" I asked in a quiet voice, almost afraid of the answer.
"Of course I do, I'm human" se responded with a small laugh.
"When was the last time you cried?" I asked her, pushing her tangled locks aside so I could see me clearly. I was extremely curious to hear her answer.
"Probably last week sometime but lets not go into detail about that" she admitted. I smiled gently, now knowing that Lovisa wasn’t some goddess-like figure that people couldn’t relate to.
“Well…” I paused. “Thanks for telling me,” I said giving her a tight hug. Despite the recent yelling match, the day hadn’t ended on a low note.
“Oh, and I promise I’ll get right on those training sessions,” I added with a giant smile on
my face. A small smile passed over her lips so fast I wasn’t sure it even happened.
The moment didn’t last long as Lovisa went into defensive mode at the sound of my door slamming, which only enticed her security guards. She jolted out of bed, grabbed her gun and ran out to meet the intruder who already faced her security guards.
I quickly followed suit only to find Dom at my door and not an intruder. He didn’t know who any of these people were which threw him into a frenzy. He pointed his gun directly at Lovisa not knowing who she was.
"Put it down" she hissed. “I said put it down," she repeated furiously,
"Lovisa-" I choked, unnerved by the guns in my house. We weren’t in an old country western; there were no need for such terrible objects to be out. "-stop, don't shoot him," I pleaded as I continued to sob, as I held her arm in a vice grip. The guns just retriggered the tears as I imagined losing one or both to them.
"Tell him to drop the gun or he's dead," she growled. Lovisa was furious; I had never seen her this furious in my life and to be honest it kind of scared me.
"Dom-" My voice shook and struggled to leave my lips as I pleaded with Dom. "-do as she says, please. Both of you, put your guns down,” I cried cried, not bothering to wipe away my tears.
"Dom. This is Dom?" She questioned, glaring at him. "What kind of entrance is that? Do you have no manners? Have you even heard of knocking?!" She demanded as she approached him (after putting her gun away.)
Dom shrugged his shoulders, which would only make her more furious. He didn’t know who he was messing this; Lovisa wasn’t some friend of mine that he could disrespect. With all the security guards, he should have known better than to pull the stunt that he just pulled.
“Dom…” I scoffed under my breath, which earned a look from everyone in the room.
“What? As far as I can tell she’s the one intruding,” he retorted pointing at her; man, did that boy have some guts.
“I’m intruding? I’m intruding?” Lovisa stood there, body language completely calm but underneath that façade she was furious.
“Well if that’s how you feel, Dom,” she spat his name, “then I guess I’ll just leave. But know, I’m no intruder here. You are,” she growled spinning on her heel and heading toward the door.
“And Kat, I look forward to hearing about your progress,” she added before shutting the door behind her.
“You fu.cking idiot!” I threw a pillow at him. “That’s Lovisa!!!!” Recognition and regret shone in his eyes. “Yeah, so you better make nice with her while you’re staying here. God, you’re more of an intruder than she is,” I added at the end. What was up with him thinking he owned my place? He just got here. Men…
[read it then type: musical raid]