It hurt a little bit less.
Yeah, you read that correctly. I kept it together this time. I didn't let you scar me this time. I could breathe. My heart wasn't in my stomach, it was right where it should be. I didn't want to die. Even when my dad went on and on about this beach towel he got Tyler, saying how it was the coolest Bob Marley picture he had ever seen... I didn't freak out when it was the same one as your stupid blanket. And for the first time in a really long fucking time, things feel like they're going to be okay. I just have to get through this. I need to pull myself up, not let myself fall. All this time I thought I could because I expected you to catch me, but you just looked away and let me crash. But please don't worry baby, I forgive you. I'm gonna be me again, because in the end that's the only one who can really save me. Falling in love fucks with your head. It's just like drugs. It feels fucking amazing when it's happening, but then you find yourself alone in the morning with a hangover full of regrets and "what if's". So here's to you, you gorgeous basket case. Thanks for the experience, but I think it's time I move on. And don't think that I'm suddenly happy, it's actually just the fact that I feel like I could be again. And some days I'll break down and cry because I miss you, but it's gonna be okay this time.
'I think this means I'm getting stronger.'