- I’m still Standing // Elton John
This song has nothing to do with anything I just had it on repeat writing this. [Elton John I KNOW RIGHT?]
Ana Harper; May 1
Dedicated to @kkerry because basically it’s because of you I got back into writing this so thanks more than you know :)
The first thing that greeted me when I (very apprehensively I’ll have it known) returned to school for the first day of term 2 was one Miss Olivia Carter throwing herself at me screaming “Term two motherfuc.kers” at the top of her arms. Suffice to say a bunch of middle schoolers turned towards us with the most comically shocked expressions I have ever seen.
“Really Liv.” I cocked an eyebrow when she pulled back, “Is it really term 2? Do tell me more.” I used my best condescending voice. It’d had a lot of practice so it was pretty damn good.
“Shut up.” She slapped me lightly on the face, slinging an arm over my shoulder as best she could with my backpack there.
“What? Did you miss me?” I cooed, pinching her cheeks with a grin, “I saw you less than a week ago for The Avengers midnight screening. It’s like you’re obsessed with me or something.” I whispered the last bit just for effect.
“I don’t know why I put up with you.” She groaned as we approached the locker area.
“Don’t even pretend I didn’t just reveal the real reason.” I giggled, spinning my lock open with the practice of almost 6 years, “Your not so secret crush on me.”
“I’m not the one with a not so secret crush on you.” She giggled and I froze for a second. Now that I knew about Matt’s crush or delusion or whatever, were we going to have a shit load of not so subtle jokes and teasing? If so I think I preferred ignorance.
“Oh pu-lease.” I deposited my back pack into my locker, grabbing out my books for my first two period in the process, “Everyone who has ever met me has a not so secret crush on me.” Well actually it was exactly the opposite but whatever.
“Keep telling yourself that princess.” She laughed as I slammed my locker shut, ready to return to the monotony of year 12, “Keep telling yourself that.”
As Olivia and I made our way towards our tree for recess I wasn’t sure who I was more nervous about seeing, Matt or Sophia. I hadn’t really interacted with Matt since finding out and I really didn’t want to give anything away. Though, you know, if Sophia didn’t do it first because she was still pissy at me.
“Stop stressing I swear you’ll give me an aneurism or something.” Olivia nudged into my side gently which was sweet but also kinda annoying.
“I’m not stressing not at all.” I rolled my eyes laying the sarcasm on thick, “Because I’m not the type of person to overthink, then overanalyse and then, oh yeah, overthink some more.”
“The thing is,” She said conversationally so used to my stupid moods by now she just ignored them (which is why Liv was always and forever my favourite) “Most people think you’re spontaneous to the point of stupidity.”
“Well I’m that also.” I mumbled now that we could finally see the tree and much to my relief neither Sophia nor Matt were there, “I either overthink or on the odd occasion I don’t I just stop thinking at all.” I moaned speeding up so I could sit down because ugh I needed a nap already, “I have to go to one extreme or the other.” I continued as I dropped to the floor, back pressed to the tree
“Oh yes, that’s our Ana the little extremist.” Olivia also sat down, practically in my lap I might add.
“Ana, I haven’t seen you in forever.” The false cheerful voice of the devil herself (i’m sure you all know I’m talking about Sophia) preceded her horribly confident arrival, Willow trailing behind her with an apologetic smile.
“I know, it’s been too long.” I smiled up, matching her face sincerity with my own.
“Ugh, cut the bullshit.” She snapped, like a switch had flipped in her head or something, “What are you doing back here?”
“It’s the first day of school and the law requires me to be here.” I shrugged pretending to completely miss her meaning. She noticed.
“I’m still mad at you.” She huffed as she ‘gracefully lowered’ herself to the ground.
“See that’s the thing.” I smiled as sweetly as I could, “I really don’t understand why you’re mad. Shouldn’t I be the one mad at you?”
Willow hid a giggle in her hand. Thankfully Sophia didn’t notice or she probably would have bagged me for ‘turning her bff against her’ or something equally stupid.
“Why would you be mad at me?” She looked completely clueless, like she honestly couldn’t comprehend someone being mad at her because she’d done something wrong.
“How bout the lying and holding things over my head and general teasing about,” I paused, not really sure what words to use. Eventually I settled on a lame “you know.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t my place to tell you.” She was sounding like a broke record trying to justify her stupidity to herself.
“How many times do I have to explain.” I rolled my eyes, feeling like throwing my hands into the air in exasperation wouldn’t be an overreaction right now, “That was your decision to make and fine I may not have to like it but I respect it. The fucking teasing and stupid hints though. That’s what I hated.”
“Is that all?” She asked snidely and I was struck with the urge for physical violence.
“Actually now that you mention it I’d like if you stopped acting like I’m a terrible person for agreeing to go with Ryan to the ball.” I snapped because actually maybe now I thought about it this was my main reason, “I didn’t know so I accepted and invitation because I just really wanted to be asked,” as I said this I scanned the school blocks ready to drop the conversation the second I saw any of the guys approaching “I’m not you Sophia. I don’t expect guys to like me and I don’t make a game out of toying with their feelings.” I spat out venomously.
“How could you say that?”
“Deny it.” I cocked an eyebrow challengingly. She didn’t, “See, I’m right.” I smirked victoriously, “And on this subject what right do you have to be mad at me?”
“You went megabitc.h on me.” She tossed her hair though visibly shaken by my words so I counted it as a victory.
“You were basically calling me stupid, unobservant, a bitc.h and manipulative with no regard for the fact you were practically contradicting yourself.” I couldn’t even hide my incredulousness, “I didn’t know.” I tried hard not to cry because angry Ana feeling insecure led to tears, “I didn’t know and you were acting like I was being cruel and heartless and mean with no regards for his feelings but I just didn’t know!” I bit my lip, hoping the slight pain would keep the tears at bay.
Sophia’s face softened at that, “Aww baby.” She sighed, crawling over to wrap her arms around my shoulders, practically pushing Olivia out of the way in the process, “I completely forgot you’re insecure and just not as adept when it comes to social interactions and interpreting them so I forgive you.”
“Thanks Soph,” I sighed, resting my head on her shoulder tiredly, “I’m glad.”
Which okay I know I should challenge that because I should be forgiving her but I was just tired of the bitc.hyness and it was always easier to be on Sophia’s good side. Case and point.
“You guys have made up them?” Christian spoke up, having appeared with Matt and Joel some point. Recently I hoped.
“Yep.” Sophia smiled brightly. I just nodded.
“Do I even want to know what you were fighting about?” Joel asked in resignation, probably expecting it to turn into an epic story like we always did. Just to make light of fights really, it was a coping mechanism of sorts I guess.
Except for the first time in ever Sophia didn’t turn it into a self centred tale with her as the hero she just shrugged nonchalantly, “Oh a miscommunication nothing much.” Before launching into a story of her latest ball dress (her 6th one so far)
And Ok maybe it drew the boys suspicion and maybe they’d watch us but whatever Sophia had covered for me which was always nice and I hadn’t been left to think up a stupid cover story, or else red faced as she’d dropped hints.
It reminded me she could be a decent friend. Sometimes. On her terms.