Friday December 7: The annual Seattle tree lighting is taking place. It has inspired us! After a Christmas tree hunt, we’ll decorate the tree. Everyone bring at least one ornament that represents you!
I sigh softly, rolling out of bed. It had been a long week, and this day somehow seemed twice as long as the week felt. I hated it. The only upside to today was probably that it was Friday, if that was any kind of consolation prize. It wasn't really to me, anyways. Everyday kind of felt the same.
It had been about a month or so since I started hurting myself, and since that day I've felt myself falling further and further into depression. I knew this was a danger of starting doing that again, but I didn't think it would happen this quickly. I mean... I had pretty much stopped doing much of anything. I stayed in my room and ignored phone calls, especially ones from Mason.
Ever since he figured out what I had been doing to myself, he had been very persistent about trying to talk to me. I just didn't want to get him involved in all of the mess that was dealing with me. It wasn't that I didn't like the guy. I liked him actually...I liked him a lot. I just felt it was unfair of me to let him be involved with me when I was already such a letdown. I mean, I didn't want to bring him down with me.
I'm brought out of my thoughts by my phone vibrating on my desk. I sigh heavily, looking over and seeing that Mason is calling me yet again. I run my fingers through my hair deciding to answer the phone.
"Hello..?" I say into the receiver.
"Marah?" Mason says on the other line, obviously surprised that I answered the phone. "I wasn't sure you would pick up the phone."
I chew on my lip some, "Well..I picked it up." I say softly, trailing off. Was it bad that it wasn't even seven and I just wanted to go back to bed?
"Yeah, yeah, I noticed, and I'm really glad you did." Mason pauses, "I've been thinking about you."
"Thinking about me? Why?" I ask, obviously knowing why he was, but I'd rather want to hear him say it.
"I just..." Mason pauses, sighing. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine, Mason. Really." I insist, getting up, and finding a sweater to put on, since I was getting cold.
"I haven't seen you around a lot, Marah... not at parties or around campus or anything." He pauses, "And you never answer the phone, and I just..." He pauses. "I'm worried about you, okay?"
"I'm fine, Mason, really." I insist, sighing. "Is there any way to make you feel better about me or whatever?" I ask, slipping my cardigan on.
"Could you come to the tree lighting ceremony tonight? Please..." Mason says, sighing. "It'd just be so nice to see you, and..I mean, you could even take pictures. I'm sure there'd be some interesting compositions, you know?" He says, obviously pleading with me.
"Fine, fine... I'll meet you at the lighting ceremony." I pause, "But I need to go. I'll see you there." I say quietly, hanging up the phone before Mason can say anything.
Once off the phone, I go and check when the lighting ceremony is, realizing I only have like a ten minute time to get there. I sigh some, going and looking for my camera bag. I might as well try and be social, and gracious during this season. It was 'Christmas time' after all.