[collab with my cute princess @ssaarah :)]
Trey walked through the crowd, his hand wrapped around mine in a tight grip that almost hurt. It made me feel like I was 3 again and my dad was taking me to school. “Trey you’re going to break my fingers.” I said in a dull monotone, not able to bit my mouth which I never did lately. Sometimes it was undeserved but mostly? It was and he wasn't doing anything to fix whatever was wrong. He just ignored the problem, such a smart move.
“I just want to be with you.” He said seriously, and I knew it was true not just for this moment but always. I believed him and while on a hand I found all the times he repeated those words reassuring on the other I felt like suffocating sometimes.
I pulled my hand out of his and shook it. “I'm not going anywhere.” She said, cupping his cheek and kissing him swiftly as I promised to myself I'd reward him for finally coming to a party with me later.
“Jules!” I heard Josh’s voice from the left of us as he came up and wrapped my arms around me from behind to squeeze my body against his. Was he drunk? Crazy? Didn't he notice Trey and his short temper?
“Josh.” Trey said coldly, making him pull away from me and light up as if he was happy to see my boyfriend even when he knew he didn’t like him that much.
“Trey! Nice to finally see you at one of our parties.” He said, grinning because it was a miracle he was here. Of course Trey was at most of the parties, but never with me and I always went back home alone when he was already snoring in our bed.
He nodded simply and I looked up at Josh. “Did the VIP’s arrive yet?” I pulled out my ipad and started going through lists as my inner control freak got the best of me, turning away from my boyfriend as I ignored Josh’s hand resting way too low on my back. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't say anything without starting a fight and that was the last thing I wanted to happen to one of my parties.
“I'm going to….” Trey started off, but his words got lost in the music or so it seemed to me. I had the bad habit of cutting myself out from the rest of the world whenever I worked, I was in my own bubble with Josh and despite how much I knew that it was wrong I couldn't help it.
"We're still waiting for a few models then I think that we're good." Josh distracted me from whatever my boyfriend was saying, his smile so big and bright that I felt my lips smiling too automatically. He was gorgeous, charming, smart, funny, with a great job and a promising future, I didn't understand why he was still single. I wasn't going to lie about it, if I were single? I'd definitely think about him in another way.
"Does it mean that we can actually relax and enjoy the party?" I asked and let out a light laugh, the thought electrifying me.
He nodded, not taking his eyes off me, "We made a great job...I mean, look at this place." He paused to motion around. The bright flashing lights played with the music that an unknown but admittedly amazing dj that I had discovered was playing and waiters were handing out drinks that were actually glowing under the lights. We were a great team. "I think we deserve it."
"True." I agreed with him, glancing around and noticing that was something missing. Trey. Damn it. I flipped my hair back, setting my clutch on my hip with my free hand, "I have to find Trey." I said quietly and took a step back.
"Jules." He stopped, grabbing my hand and tugging at it gently as he shot me one of his one million dollars smiles. "Will you come back to me? I didn't bring a date."
I blinked at him in confusion. Uhm? Of course I knew that he had a thing for me, but he had never pushed himself over the boundaries of our friendship. Never before tonight. Or maybe I was misunderstanding everything. "Sure, Trey and I will join you in a while." I answered getting rid of his hold.
"Is he staying?" He asked, taking me aback again.
"Of course he's staying." I answered with no hesistation. I had wanted my boyfriend to come to this party so much.
"Oh." He paused, running a hand through his hair which still looked perfect regardless, "He usually goes away after an hour or so."
I bit down on my lip, no more doubts about where this was going. "He's my boyfriend. I'm with him Josh." I said softly, since I didn't want to ruin the great relationship we had.
"I know, I know." He said with a smile, apparently dropping it and leaning into me to press a kiss on my cheek, "Forget it. Go find him."
"We'll see you later." I added before making my way through the crowd of people and finally reaching the bar. Trey was there, a drink in his hand and an impassible expression on his face. "Hey. I lost you." I said softly, wrapping my arm around his waist and nuzzling his side, not wanting this night to be ruined.
"Uhm." He answered unitelligently, not even looking at me.
"I'm all yours. I don't even have to work." I added, hopeful that it could make up for whatever was wrong. God I hoped that so much.
“You say that every time.” Trey said under his breath but enough for me to hear.
I narrowed my eyes on him, it wasn't like that at all. If I was working? I was working, I never mixed my time with him with the rest. The fact that I worked a lot was all another story. “Are you upset?”
“No. Do you want to dance?” He asked instead of answering.
I nodded and looked up at him feeling that sting of pain in my chest again. “What’s wrong?”
He shrugged as cupped my face in his hands and I leaned my hand against his palm. “You could tell him to back off you know.” He said softly, his tone showing how he was trying not to make a big deal out of it.
I rose an eyebrow, not even wanting to start this conversation. “Who?”
He glared at me that time. Of course I knew who he was talking about, I just wanted to ignore the whole subject. “You know.” He said darkly, before looking over my shoulder and faking a smile.
“I work with him every day Trey.” I said simply, looking down at the floor as I wished he could at least try to understand me for once.
“So what? That automatically gives him permission to be all over you? In front of me?”
“I’d hate to see what he does when you two are alone!” His voice was getting louder and I knew that in less than a minute we'd go back to one of our fights and I could say goodbye to my idea of a nice night with him.
“Stop it Trey!” I snapped.
“Oh great. Awesome. You’re so good at telling me to stop but you let him have his hands all over your as.s and act like nothings happening?!”
"I'm not even going to comment that." I said in a warning tone, my eyes staring at him to let him know that I was serious.
"And why's that?" He asked narrowing his eyes on me, "Because you know that-"
"Because it's not true." I cut him off, exasperated.
He laughed and shook his head, "What are you, in denial now?"
"Don't be a j.erk Trey. Not here." I paused, leaning into him, "If you want to fight? Save it for when we'll be home."
He grinned, a wide grin that made him look nothing like the guy I loved. "What's wrong with here Julia? I think it's a lovely place. Actually, you did a great job, this place it perfect." He said and I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me or he was just being sarcastic. It hurt anyway.
I swallowed, trying to keep my emotions in check. I wasn't going to cry and I wasn't going to scream, I had a reputation to defend. "Do you want to cause a scene at this party? With the people I work with...with the people you work with too?" I questioned him, the tone of my voice calm like I was talking about the last book I had read.
"Are you afraid that Josh won't like you anymore if you don't act like your usual perfect self?" He retorted.
I decided to ignore him and faked a smile instead, "If you're going to lose your temper here, tonight, I assure you that this will be the last time you see me. I swear to god Trey, be an a.sshole to me and I'll make you regret it." I said between my teeth. "Don't be an idiot, you're smarter than this."
He blinked his eyes, looked taken aback. "What do you suggest then? Are you going to tell me what to do and bossy me around? You're dreaming Julia."
"This is a nightmare." I let out a deep breath, boring my eyes into his. I was going to try to fix this night, again, and I needed to stay calm. "While you were at the bar I told him that I have a boyfriend and that I'm with you and you only. He doesn't have a chance with me, he never will." I paused, waiting for him to argue but he didn't so I went on, "When I'm alone with Josh nothing happens, we just work, so whatever you're thinking? It's all in your head."
“When I was at the bar?” Trey asked, forcing the calm as I rose a brow at him. Was he deaf now?
“How many times has he put his hands on you Julia?! We’ve been together since you MET him! If he didn’t already fu.cking know that he didn’t have a chance with you? Then it’s YOUR fault!”
“I swear to god Trey if you don’t lower your voice.” I said slowy, through my teeth because this was killing me. Of course Josh knew about Trey, he had always had.
“If I don’t lower my voice what? You’ll wait five years and then mention casually that it annoys you? Oh wait, you only tread carefully around the people who mean nothing to you. Not your boyfriend.” He turned to walk out of the club and by now? People were paying attention to us. He got to the alley as I followed him and kicked at the wall of the club.
“Are you seriously doing this?! AGAIN?!” My voice echoed through the alley and he turned to me.
"Oh yeah, it’s ALWAYS my fault right?!”
“Trey this is my JOB! This is where I WORK!” I said back. “You couldn’t hold in your male PMS for an hour?!”
“Because you want all the negativity in our home right?” He shot back. “Trey PLEASE! Not here! Not now!!! We were doing so well today…..” My voice broke slightly as I felt my heart hurting, that sadness coming back again. Apparently our relationship so bad that it was an accomplishment to make it through one day without fighting.
“Tell me you’ve never thought about him that way.” He said, looking deep into my eyes.
“I-“ I started but he shook his head.
“I'm fuc.king serious right now Julia. Tell me. Right now. Have you EVER thought about Josh in a non-platonic way?”
I pursed my lips at him. "Don't you trust me?" I asked in almost a whisper. Of course we weren't happy and of course we had issues, but I had never thought about cheating. Ever.
"Answer me. NOW!" He screamed, making me jump since I wasn't used to see him this mad. Actually I thought I had never seen him like this and I didn't like it, at all.
"You've always been the only one for me." I said quietly, swallowing and feeling empty. We just reached the bottom and it sucked. Josh was attractive, amazing even, but truth was Trey was still the man I wanted with me, with flaws and all.
"Promise." He took a few steps closer to me, but I backed off. I didn't even recognize the guy in front of me, I wasn't scared, but I didn't want to deal with him either.
I shook my head stubbornly, shivering as a cold breeze hit my naked shoulders since I had left my coat inside. "No." I said simply before spinning on my heels, folding my arms over my chest as I started walking.
"Where are you going." Trey reached for me, but I slapped his hand.
"Don't touch me!!!" I shouted in his face as all the feelings I had kept bottled up exploded. I was tired to pretend, to try, to control myself, to fake smiles, to stay awake at night...it was consuming me. He blinked his eyes but didn't see anything. "I'm going home."
"You can go back to your party, I'm leaving anyway." He said eventually.
I shot my head in his direction, the lump in my throat actually hurting. "Do you really think I can do that? After this fight? After how you made me look in front of all those people?" I asked and my voice broke, a tear running down my cheek as I choked on my own words, trying my best to not sob. "You humiliated me Trey." I said sadly, wiping my cheek with the back of my hand, too proud to cry but too fragile to stop.
“Yeah. Okay.” Trey said coldly, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.
“Really?!’ I asked in disbelief. Wasn't he listening to me or just didn't care? Either way, it hurt. It was like he didn't even try to realize what he had just done.
“Really what?! Really you care more about your job then your boyfriend?! Really you work with a guy who wants to fu.ck you and you never tell him that’s not okay?! Really you’re never fu.cking home?!?!”
“Trey.” I said in a cool but softer tone. I knew that sometimes I wasn't a good girlfriend, my job was my top priority and I took my boyfriend for granted way too much...but still, I understood that, I tried to be in his shoes. He never did.
“WHAT?!’ He yelled, looking like he was exploding.
“You know that none of that is true.” I stared at him as I tried to calm even though I felt like I had the fire inside.
“I don’t know that at all.” He said seriously. “You’re always mad at me Julia. We can’t go ONE day without yelling at each other!!! We’re not US anymore!!!!”
“What are you saying?” I asked me, in a timid voice that sounded nothing like my own.
He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “I'm saying I’ve had enough Jules. I'm going to sleep at work tonight.” He turned to walk away but my voice stopped him.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I snapped. “I’ll just stay with Sean.”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” He said to the ground, killing me.
"It does, I don't want you to sleep at work." I said after taking a deep breath, "You have a home, I'm not going to let you sleep out."
"Instead you can sleep wherever you want? You have a home too Jules." He muttered in a barely audible tone.
I swallowed and took a step closer to him tentatively, of course I was mad, more than mad, but we weren't teenagers anymore and we couldn't just walk away from each other after a fight, no matter how big it was. "I'd be with Sean which is my brother and your friend too, he's not like...a stranger."
He finally looked up at me, the look on his face impossible to read. It hurt me, because I usually was so good at reading him. Maybe he was right after all, I wasn't able to give him the attention he deserved anymore. "Because the thought of coming back home with me is so terrible?"
I shook my head, even though I couldn't bring myself to consider of sharing the bed with him since I knew that we'd be on opposite sides, distant more than ever. "Trey I make mistakes, I know that, but the fact that you don't understand how you hurt me leaves me speechless." I admitted.
"Great." He snorted, rolling his eyes, "Now it's my fault. What's new, it always is."
"I just said I make mistakes Trey!!!" I repeated, my voice harsh once again. "At least I admit it! You just refuse to see the truth."
"What's the truth? That there's a guy there who works with you everyday and he was all over you while I, your boyfriend, get not even half of that time." He said coldly.
"It's just work." I said once again, sounding like a broken record. He wasn't even making an effort, it was impossible to reason with him. "Let's go home."
"So that you can keep blaming everything on me?"
I snorted, "No!" I ran my hands through my hair, feeling beyond exhasperated, "What do you want to do? It's your turn, I'll be okay with everything, just tell me what you want and I'll do it."
“Do whatever you want.” Trey said finally, running his hands through his hair and walking away from me. Of course, what else could I expect from him.
“Where are you going?” I called after him, making him turn around quickly. “Go back to your stupid fu.cking party Julia!!!!” He shouted back at me. Wow.
I blinked at him, feeling like he just slapped me in the face, hard. We fought and sometimes we said things we knew we'd regret, but Trey never yelled at me like this, never. I was shocked, then confused, then disgusted eventually.
“You know what? I will.” I glared harder at him, almost as if daring him to say something else.
He just nodded instead. “Yup.” He turned to walk out of the alley and I watched him until he disappeared.
I couldn't believe my own eyes, never during the years passed with him I had thought he could act in such an irrational and unrespectful way. Trey was kind, caring, fun, the type of guy that almost seemed too good to be true, I didn't recognize this side of him at all instead.
"Are you okay?" A male voice cut into my thoughts and I turned toward it, realizing that Josh was next to me and making me wonder for how long he had been there.
"I'm fine." I said quietly and forced a smile, not wanting him or anyone else to know about my personal drama more than they had already seen earlier.
He gave me a skeptical look, but didn't push the subject. "You forgot your coat, I thought you'd need it." He said instead, helping me to wear it.
I enjoyed the warm feeling of the soft fabric on my skin, offering a more genuine smile instead, "Thank you."
"Trey?" He asked after a few seconds of silence, looking down at me as if he was trying to study my face. Josh and I were friends, but I wasn't going to share my misery with him.
"He's gone." I answered quietly with a shrug, leaving it at that as I wondered where the f.uck that idiot had gone. In some bar to get drunk I bet, so that he could insult me again once back home.
Josh nodded his head slowly, smiling a little, "Do you need a ride home?"
I weighed the options. I could go to our apartment and going on with this nightmare, I could stay at Sean's place but he probably had enough to do with his baby girl at this time at night. "Yes please, I'm going to my sister's home...I'll show you the way."