I have died everyday waiting for you

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Pretty Wicked
Kalynn Nichols
 
Thursday, May 24th: Today’s the big day - Ivy’s funeral. Dress in black and show up at the church before 10. It’s bound to be packed. Afterwards, we’ll be going to the memorial service at her mom’s house. (Mandatory event!)
 
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{{{story's up!}}}
@keziahh @expiredsunshine @monkeymanda22 @five-hundred-days-of-penny @buds-over-studs @curious-and-young @b0hemian-lovers
 

I slowly walked down the stairs, in no real mood for a funeral. Then again, when was anybody in any type of mood for one? When I was about halfway down I noticed a familiar figure standing at the door waiting for me. When he heard my steps he turned around with a faint smile on his face.
 
"You look great Kales," Cole said with that light chuckle I've grown to associate with only him.
 
"Thanks," I replied as I reached the bottom and enveloped him in a warm hug. It felt comforting and yet unusual to have him here in my house again.
 
"Is that what you're wearing? Really?" he asked me as he surveyed my outfit. I was ten seconds away from making some sort of sarcastic gay joke before I realized what he was talking about.
 
"What? White is the mourning color in China," I defended.
 
"You're not Chinese," he spat back and after that I didn't have the energy to fight with him. I grabbed a black jacked from the hall closet and walked out the front door.
 
Cole's cherry red Charger was parked in the driveway and I couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic.
 
"You're still driving this thing?" I asked is shocked disbelief. I knew he would never sell this car. Too much sentimental value or whatever.
 
We drove in relative silence in the church. Just the occasional question about each other's family broke the silence, although it was mainly just being polite. In a town this size everybody knew everything that was going on. Almost everything.
 
"So why couldn't your boyfriend take you to today? Too busy counting his money?" Cole asked, taking a crack at Nate's financial stability.
 
"For your information, he has a test today. Besides, he didn't even know Ivy, it would have been awkward," I defended. It was really none of his business where Nate was today anyways but I knew he wasn't going to let it go.
 
"Less awkward than going with your ex-boyfriend?"
 
"Whatever, just drive. I don't want to be late," I told him as I turned my head forward and continued to ignore him for the rest of the trip.
 
By the time we arrived at the church it was already pretty packed so we quietly found seats in the bad and listened to the sermon. Her mother was nearly uncontrollable and her father just sat there with a vacant expression on her face. I noticed the girls Ivy was closest to were silently crying a few pews behind he Stonems while the girls who only knew her by reputation were almost as bad as her mother. I resisted the urge to laugh out loud at them.
 
When the service I snuck out the back doors before anyone else, desperate for some fresh air. When I felt a comforting hand on my back I let it lead me over to the side of the church where I wouldn't be able to see them place Ivy's body into the long black car parked out front.
 
"I didn't know you were that affected by her death," Cole said while he rubbed circles on my back. Years of dating taught him that this was very relaxing to me.
 
"I wasn't. I just don't like death in general," I told him.
 
"Come on, there's a reception at her house. You need to eat," he insisted as we made our way to the car.
 
The Stonem household was just as depressing as the church. Their large house was packed with townspeople who wished to show their respect towards the family's 'fallen angel' as the church people had said.
 
My turn at talking to the family was an interesting experience to say the least. I was standing in the kitchen with a few of the girls when Mrs. Stonem came in looking for an extra punch bowl.
 
"Oh, hello girls. I wasn't aware anyone was in here," she said as she tried to hide her desperation. It was clear to me she was using the punch bowl as an excuse to get away.
 
"We were just looking for some of your famous butterscotch cookies. Ivy used to rave about them in homeroom," Myra covered for us.
 
"Oh, I believe I have a few left in the cabinet. Let me get them for you," she muttered as she started towards the cabinet.
 
"That's okay, we can find them. Why don't you go on up and rest. We'll just tell Mr. Stonem yo weren't feeling well," Dylan said as she ushered the grieving mother out the doors.
 
"That was a close one. If she figured out we were actually looking for Ivy's secret stash she would have had a coronary," Ingrid commented as she made her way towards the cabinet, grabbed the aforementioned cookies and with it a bag of what appeared to be oregano.
 
I left the girls out back to deal with the grieving in their own way while I looked for Cole. I had had enough of whatever it was we were at and was ready to go home.
 
"If you're looking for Mr. Popular he went out front with the football crowd about ten minutes ago," Alexa called out from the stairs.
 
She was grasping a red cup that was no doubt filled with liquor. Elle was sitting next to her but a few steps up, leaving a clear path up the stairs. I decided to give up on Cole and leaned up against the banister. Alexa reached out a polished sliver flask and I allowed her to pour whatever was in it into my lemonade.
 
"Why aren't you two out there with the rest of them? Isn't that your usual pastime?" I asked them. It was weird to see these two not participating in any drug-related activities.
 
"We got bored. Decided to play 'guess who's doing who' with the Benjamin Society," Elle joked, using a common phrase describing those in Coldgrove who were quite wealthier than the rest.
 
"Well this beats getting high any day," I played along, taking a sip of my drink only to receive a burning sensation as it traveled down my throat.
 
"We were playing it out there with Coldgrove High's finest but then we realized it was way too easy.," Alexa replied and I couldn't help but agree with her.
 
"Hate to be a buzz kill but I gotta go. Nice seeing you guys," I told them as I took my drink and myself out front to find Cole. I really needed to go home now.
 
I found him out front with Con Novak and their usual posse of jocks. Alex and Emily were with them, for whatever reason I don't either know or care. When they saw me coming immediately stepped exactly three feet away from Cole.
 
"Hey Kales, great game last week," Alex said with her usual chipperness. It wouldn't have annoyed me as much if she didn't add that smile with it.
 
"Yeah, nice assist on that run. I'm sure Coach Bardem totally appreciated those three hits you gave us the entire game," Emily said with fake sarcasm.
 
"Thanks Em. Remind me to tell you how it is to not spend an entire three innings on the bench sometime," I sneered as I grabbed Cole by the elbow and pulled him towards the car.
 
"See ya later guys, I guess I'm heading out," he called out to his buddies.
 
I slipped into the car and buckled my seatbelt all before he had even opened his door. I waited while he turned on the car and drove off before I rolled down the window and let the warm summer air hit my face.
 
"What was up with you back there, Kales? Did you have to be so rude?" he asked me as he turned onto Main Street and headed South towards my house.
 
"I'm sorry, I just really don't like funerals," I lied. The truth was that I really never liked Ivy and I was tired of being around people who were just faking their sympathy.
 
I realized I was still holding my red cup full of gin and took a long drink of it. Cole realized what it was and threw it out the window, scolding me for having an open container in his car. Like the cops around here even cared about stuff like that.
 
He pulled into my driveway shortly after, shutting off the engine and unbuckling. I got out of the car, him following me like some medieval gentleman, and walked up to my house. Judging by the lack of cars and life in my house my parents were probably at work.
 
"You didn't have to walk me up here you know? You're not my boyfriend anymore," I said as I turned around to make fun of Cole once more.
 
As I turned he caught my arm and pulled me up, kissing me in the process. Whether it was the alcohol or the heat I wasn't sure but something made me lean into him. Our lips were locked for several minutes before I had the better sense to separate but he wouldn't let go of my arms.
 
We stood there for awhile, his arms wrapped gently around mine, his head leaned forward as if waiting for the go-ahead to take whatever this was up into my room, something that happened many times before.
 
"I'm seeing someone Cole," I tell him breathlessly, still unable to unwrap myself from his arms. There was something in his eyes that made me feel guilty for allowing that to happen.
 
"I know," is all he says before he walks away and gets into his car. I watched him drive down the block and the moment his car disappeared behind Mrs. Jenson's rose willow I turned around and went inside.
 
{comment 'breathless' if you read. sorry' its kind of late…busy weekend.}