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Thursday; Maya's birthday. We're having a backyard bonfire and cooking out. Real Brazilian dishes.

Maya's birthday had been a total hit and I was definitely more then a little tip.syy, and a little ho.rnyy, for some reason pa.tronn did that to me. I was stumbling towards my room when I heard my name. I turned a little too quickly and fell over my heels.

"Ow." I muttered, scraping gravel off my hands. A hand came on my shoulder and lifted me up. "Thanks." I slurred, turning to see who had helped me up and probably called my name. What the fuckk?! "What are you doing here Russel." I asked taking a step back from him, almost falling over again."I was looking for you, I think we need to talk." he said taking a look over his shoulder then gesturing me towards his office.

"Fine." I said walking towards the main office, not exactly in a strait line. Once inside I plopped down on the worn leather couch, and was only slightly aware of Russel locking the door. "So what did you want to talk about?" I asked swinging my legs up on the couch, watching as Russel poured himself a scotch.

"I just thought maybe you'd like to talk more about what happened with Eli, if there was something you were embarrassed to say in front of Chad and Spencer, or even Katie." He said sitting down next to me on the couch, shifting my feet so they were on his lap.

"No not really, the only thing I left out was why I went outside." I said eying his scotch. It looked really good.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked running his hands up and down my leg soothingly. 

"Not really it's kind of embarrassing." I said looking down and playing with my necklace.

"Well you can tell me, that's why I'm here, to help you and if talking helps then, why not." he said scooting a little closer to my making my calves rest in his lap. Why was I doing this? I usually hated Russel, maybe after how harsh Eli had been I was relieved to have a gentle person around. I sighed.

"Well I'm sure you know I kind of had a thing with him." I said laughing softly. Russel's nod encouraged me further. "Well I'm not much of a mushy relationship person, I never have been, even when I was a goody two-shoes. And Eli was just getting really serious about stuff, like saying how I was the only one he wanted and just other monogamous crap. And it was all just too much, so I went out side just to get away from everything. Eli, the alcohol, all the girls, just everything." I said sighing and shaking my head, if I had been stronger I would have sat with him longer and he probably wouldn't have gotten mad, and he wouldn't have hit me, so he'd still be here. I though regretfully. I must have said it out loud because Russel started talking.

"Bianca it's not your fault, if it hadn't been then it would've happened later, he was a ticking time bomb. When you take steroids like that it changes you into a different person. And roid rage is one of the many side effects, it was his decision, his fault, you didn't make him take them, so don't blame yourself Bianca." He said laying a hand on my cheek so I looked up at him.

"Then why do I feel so bad?" I asked biting my lip in worry. "I mean he hit me I should hate him, I still have bruises, but I just feel bad about being the reason he was sent home." I said shaking my head.

"Don't be, we knew when we took him on we knew we would probably send him home, we were just surprised how soon." He said chuckling.

"But I think he really loved me." I said looking up at Russel and letting a few tears fall down my face. His face softened and he placed his empty scotch glass on the coffee table in from of us.

"Oh Bianca, don't cry." He soothed picking me up and shifting me in his lap as tears fell soundlessly down my face.I wrapped my arms around his neck and nestled my head in the crook of his neck. "He didn't deserve you if he'd hit you." Russel whispered next to my ear, his lips trailing down my neck.

"I know." I sighed sitting up so Russel's hands drifted down to my lower back and my lap. I wiped the tears off my face and shook my head, I almost never cried, the alcohol was probably to be the blame. "Sorry you had to see that." I said bringing my hands to my lap.

"It's no problem, I like that you're comfortable enough to let go in front of me." He said smiling and running his hand across the unbruised side of my face. "Bianca. . . " he said softly looking me in the eyes, but didn't say anything more as he threaded his fingers into my hair and leaned in close. "I've wanted you for so long." he said almost shuddering. Our lips were only but a breath apart when the door handle twisted, only it stopped because Russel had locked it. "You have got to be fuckking kidding me." Russel muttered letting his head fall on my shoulder.

"Russel, sweetheart, are you in there?" I heard Katie's high voice through the door.

"Just a moment!" He called back, he helped me off his lap and took his scotch glass, putting it back where he had gotten in from. He unlocked the door and Katie came in with papers in her hands. I'm sure I looked like a mess with mascara streaks all over my face. Finally she seemed to notice I was there and took one look at my face her face softened.

"Oh Bianca, are you alright?" she asked coming to sit by me. I just nodded keeping up the broken act, when I was just realizing Russel had turned me on, I could feel that my panties were damp, what the helll?! He was Russel!

"Bianca just wasn't comfortable explaining everything about Eli in front of the boys, so I thought I'd listen. And sorry about the door, I didn't realize, you know how temperamental that lock is." Russel explained everything away with ease.

"Of course, I hadn't even thought of that Bianca. I'm sorry about that." She said placing one hand over her heart and the other on my shoulder. "Now you just come down here anytime you want if you feel like talking more, alright?" she asked smiling at me. I just nodded my head, I really needed to get out of here.

"Um I guess I'll just head up to my room, I'm sure you guys have stuff to do." I said running a hand through my hair and standing up a little unsteadily.

"Russel will you walk her up, while I sort these papers? "Katie asked walking behind her desk.

"Of course, Bianca?" he asked gesturing towards the door. I weaved around the coffee table, and walked out with Russel. Surprisingly he didn't say anything until we got to my door, where he turned me around and placed his hands on either side of my face and leaned in close till his lips almost touched mine, making my breath halt then speed up with excitement. 

"I plan to finish what we started in my office, very soon, and next time no one will be interrupting us." he said lips still just a breath away from mine, which just made me want to close that short short distance, and just end all this tension. I swallowed hard trying to slow my breathing. "Until then." he said taking a step away from me with any further contact making me groan in frustration. You do not get a girl all hot an bothered then barely even touch her for god knows how long, and then just leave! But Russel just walked down the hall without a glance back at me. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as I opened the door to find, thank god, Rebekah sound asleep. So I just tip toed to my side of the room, quickly strippedd and lay in bed trying to just think of nothingness. While my body was aching for just any touch at all. I threw a pillow over my face and groaned loudly. I would not be getting any sleep anytime soon.

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