12/12/12 - Dunno what to do or how to do it. I should be grateful for such an opportunity, and in some ways I am. I feel so sick with confusion, but I must decide. I will most likely be spending my entire life trying to get my own crap sorted out, let alone someone else's. Maybe that makes me selfish but that is what feels like the right thing to do. I don't want to put my stuff on him either it is such absolute hell sometimes I could not do that to someone else it would be way too unforgivable. I know this is probably the only chance I will ever get with this kind of thing, I know he is 1 in a million, but I don't feel it back and don't know if I ever will. I cannot do something like that to someone, he deserves to get the same back and nothing less. Ok, I've decided on what to do. Still stuck on "how" though, have no idea on that at all :(
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