Hey-ho everyone! This tip was requested by @melly-ricky-d 

O1. Choose the right time. Avoid holidays and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries at all costs. Do you really want your ex remembering your insensitivity every time that day rolls around? No you don't. Statistics show that most students break up during summer break. For everyone else, Monday seems to be the most popular day of the week for breaking up.

O2: Pick an appropriate place. The less public, the better. Don't do it in a place where the person on the receiving end isn't going to feel especially vulnerable. Avoid these break up locations at all costs:
*On the bus
* At school

O3: Do it in person. If the relationship is relatively new, maybe you can get away with breaking up over the phone. Maybe. But come on, if you've been out on more than a handful of dates, isn't that kind of harsh? Do the right thing and end the relationship in person.
*Having one final talk together is a good way to bring closure to the relationship.
*As painful as it may be, a relationship-ending conversation might enable you to learn something about yourself and set the stage for something better in the future.

O4: Be honest but sensitive. No one likes to get dumped. But we at least appreciate the truth when it's over. Unless, of course, the truth is you've stopped finding him/her attractive, you've met someone better, or that you're just plain bored with the relationship. There's no point being negative. Try to exit with as much decorum as possible. Even if there's bad blood, always take the high road. You'll be glad you did.

O5: Keep your emotions in check. Don't seem too happy about the break up: you'll come off as mean-spirited. Just be kind, caring, and considerate.

O6: Don't react. Some people don't handle rejection well. Some people yell, scream, or cry. But it doesn't mean you should react to their meltdown. Remember, rejection is tough. You've already got the status of being the dumper. If their tantrum escalates, get the out of there! Don't wait around for the messy aftermath. Only try to ignore when the conversation is yelling and screaming, try to be and remain civil in all other situations. Be honest and sensitive and try to listen to their emotions and act upon them.


*In some cases, phone break-ups can be helpful for the person being dumped because it allows them more separation from the situation from talking in person, and also allows them to cry immediately after getting off the phone instead of waiting for you to leave, trying to get home, trying not to embarrass themselves in public, etc. If you do a phone break up, just make sure you are doing it to be considerate, not just for your own convenience.

*If you handle yourself well during the break up, chances are you'll avoid any hard feelings with your ex. And while that may not seem so important at the time, it's vital to your future relationship karma!

*The term "break up" implies a hard stop. But, often, a break up is really a change in the nature of a relationship, where friendship remains, but a closer physical connection, and a desire to build a life together, is taken away. Try to look at breaking up in a more positive way, and see how it can transform your relationship.

*Think about why you want to break up with them (e.g., you may suspect/hear rumors that they are cheating on you).

*If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, ask them first. Everybody hates when you break up with them for a reason that isn't even true (but trust your intuition).

*Think about how maybe if you want out, they might too. Ask them where they think it's going. If something is making being together painful, tell them that being together is hurting you (e.g., long-distance relationships).

*Although it says above pick a private place, this can sometimes lead to emotional conversations that end in sex and another miserable month of "trying to make it work." If it's really over (see warning one), meet in a quiet public place local to the other person for a drink or a coffee. Tell them straight away and succinctly that the reason you're here is to say its over and why - be honest, give the true reason e.g. nothing you do will make up for the fact that you slept with someone else/the fact that you weren't there to pick me up from the hospital after my operation was the last straw, I need someone more dependable etc. Then leave money on the table to cover both drinks and leave. Do not cry until you're far away. Do not call them at all for two weeks - this helps to get some distance.

*Don't tell other people about it until after. You wouldn't want the rumor to spread.

*Consider what things will be like two weeks, or a month from now. It may seem hard to break up today, but if you will be happier in the future then ending it is the best scenario. The same goes for the reverse; breaking up with someone in a fit of rage could be something you regret two weeks or a month down the road.

*Make sure that you are making the right desision. Because one day, they might not want to get back together depending on their personality.

*Lastly, ask yourself this question. Would you be happier if you aren't together anymore?

*Weigh in carefully on your decision to break up, without analyzing it to death. Is this really what your heart wants? You may not be able to reverse your decision once it's made, and you may burn bridges in the process.

*Avoid cliches. If the person has heard it before, it may come off as insensitive.

*Never tell a third party who is not extremely trustworthy or who is friendly with both partners that you are planning to break up with your relationship partner. If you want to break up with style, it is important that your partner hears it from you first.

*NEVER LIE about the breakup reasons! At all! In all seriousness, lying to the dumpee while dumping them has a strong risk of making them suicidal. (I'm speaking from the dumpee's side of the equation, and, yes, that's exactly what the effect was. So, DON'T LIE!).

I hope you like the tip @melly-ricky-d. Love ya'll,
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one comment

Wrote 4 years ago
thanks so much this helped me too :)


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