I've never been more motivated to loose weight.
Im gonna get skinny and get a nice as/s for my boyfriend.
So its water, green tea, ceylon peace tea, rockstar lemonade and one meal a day for me.
Plus situps and some as/s exercise that I'll have to find in one of my old cosmos or something.
Im in a really weird mood today.
I wish I had the balls to ask my bf some questions that I've been curious about for a long time.
Like those times he moved away..
Did he even f/ucking miss me at all. Did he still love me. I loved him. And then he went and dated some other b/itch.. Did he forget about me. Am I (was I) not as important to him as he is to me. Were those texts when you told me you 'needed me' sent to me by accident, and really meant for someone else. Why did you say you were drunk/tipsy after you sent them? What abuot that one other text that was forsure accidenly sent to me when you wanted to know 'did you find a ride yet, baby?' :( I know this is all old stuff and in the past but you have no f/ucking idea how bad I missed you and how sh/itty I felt when you wernt living down here and all these questions and unknowns still bother me. Because while you were gone there was no way I could even think about being with some other guy. And this chick you dated when you were there, did you f/uck her :/
Did you not text me all Valentines day because you were with her, instead?
Who is she, anyways. Was there more than one? You f/ucked me when you came here to visit for the 4th and told me you were 'on a break', whatever that means. She said something f/ucked up to you, you told me about it, and then you wanted me to ocome hangout. At the time, I didnt, but now Im feeling like a second choice. Even though you liked me for four years before that. Why'd you choose her over me. Why did it take her saying something horribly b/itchy for you to want me again.
did you f/uckherdidyouf/uckherdid you f/uck her.
I dont see why you wouldnt have. I want to ask so bad, but maybe I dont want to know the answer.
Even if I asked him I'm not sure how honest the answers would be because I think he just likes to tell me what he thinks I like to hear.
Maybe Im just being paranoid and overreacting and self conscious. But after lastnight I just cant stop thinking and it's bringing all this sh/it up...
Distancing myself. Smoking weed. Drawing blood. Not asking for anything anymore.