"And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now."
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And it was freezing.
The sort of freezing where you don’t want to move or do anything, just sleep and hope the cold blasts would calm down.
I was used to the cold, really, but I still got frozen no matter what.
It took all the energy to roll out of bed and patter my bare feet across the tiles to the kitchen, finding my odd pair of socks in the opening; pulling them on. I flicked the light switch on in the bathroom, carefully, not daring to wake up Rosalie in the other bed. She was dead asleep, and I knew the cold would be worse for her than me.
I hit the shower, knowing I had to be ready by ten for an interview, followed by a signing. The interview was something I was dearly dreading. The main reason we were called so urgently for this interview was thanks to me. Rosalie and I. If we hadn’t been so careless and stupid, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
It was enough trouble to deal with Simon and Hannah, especially since Hannah was Rosalie’s mother as well as my tour manager, but then to face the public was a whole new level. There was fact and lies, the media wanted nothing but them. Sometimes they took the lies, the rumours, not caring unless they had a story to sell. Front page of the newspaper or magazine. They had their story alright. And they weren’t about to quit it.
Then we had Rosalie: she had the death threats and other nasty comments waiting in her every wake. She was scared, I know she was; even though she tried to hide it.
There had been a long talk, and advisory, on how this was going to effect everything. The lads sat with their heads in their hands, tired, but listened intently. I loved them for the fact they could do this for me. Simon had pulled me to the side and given me a professional talk (one without Hannah including: don’t break my daughter’s heart). He warned me. He warned me about the album, the tour setting off our career again and the fame settling in around us. He told me to be careful, one more thing could set off the time bomb already ticking away. Rosalie could be the one aspect that sets it off, and advised me that it was either: A little Rosalie and full commitment to everything, or Rosalie and half a career.
“Or even better,” he said in a whisper so Hannah couldn’t hear, “No girl and your whole life ahead of you!”
I wouldn’t give her up.
Nodding along and agreeing, promising there would be full commitment and no fooling around was the best thing to do in that moment.
I had gone back and reassured Rosalie everything would be okay. It would, I promised.
But I didn’t tell her it wasn’t going to be great.
My girlfriend, stuck in a big old world with people out for her every move and wake while I had to attend to every interview, concert, signing and meet and greet.
It’s my career, I told myself. Your biggest dream since you can remember.
I wrapped a towel around my waist, forgetting that it was absolutely -1000 degrees outside, and witnessed Rosalie’s head, half hidden by her tussled hair. She frowned in her sleep, that’s what worried me the most. But bloody hell did she look beautiful doing it.
Is it possible for a girl to look beautiful when she frowned?
I was going to deem yes on Rosalie’s sake.
I waited a moment before sitting on the bed by her hip. She didn’t seem to move. I flipped her hair over carefully. I waited, again, but placed a light kiss against her neck. Her eyes twitched, but no grey eyes stared up at me. Before I could think myself, I parted my lips and sucked softly a little higher up, closer to her jawline, placing kisses in between. I registered the slight moan escaping her mouth and pulled back as her eyes flickered open.
“Mmm, Niall, what?” She mumbled turning over on her side and batting her eyes up at me. “It’s fucking early, ugh.”
I kissed her again, on the mouth this time, and shook her lightly on the shoulder.
“Time to wake up, sook,” I told her. She shook her head and placed her head on my knee, pulling me in closer.
“I want to sleep,” she uttered. She blinked a few times and furrowed her eyebrows, putting a hand up to her forehead. “Yeah, okay, thank you for wearing just a towel this morning so I can feel even more turned on.”
“My pleasure,” I smirked, kissing her nose.
She snagged my lips with hers and groaned into my mouth, “And I also want to bloody kiss you till I can’t no more.”
I smiled a little, pushing her hair away from her face; “Later, maybe.”
I left her side and she sat up, putting her hands on her hips.
“Niall James Horan,” she begun, hitting every syllable in my name with emphasis. God, I loved the way she said my name, “I am wearing my sexiest bed attire and you do not wish to kiss me?” She crossed her eyes, meaning it was a joke. I laughed and gave her woolen long pajamas a once over, placing my hands over hers on her hips.
“Rosalie Anne Harper, how did I get the short stick to board a room with you?” I teased. She poked her tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes and just laughed, now supporting her upper arms.
“I’m joking, princess,” I confessed. “You look sexy in those woolen pajamas of yours.”
“Sod off,” she smiled. It would be a weird sentence to smile to, on most girls, but it fit perfectly with her tone of voice. She wasn't like most girls.
“And as I recall,” she called out before heading into the shower, “you volunteered like Katniss Everdeen at the reaping to be in the same room as me.”
“Darling, Rosie!” Katie called out to me across the lobby. She scurried over to me. “Are you free?”
“Katie,” I registered her presence. “I am, yeah.”
“Want to join me for a coffee down the road?” She asked.
“Me? Yeah, that’d be great,” I answered.
She gave me a little smile and swung her handbag onto her shoulder, making me follow her out on the streets. Little wreaths lined the street lights and babuls hung from glittering string. Christmas was only ten days away, eleven till my own birthday. Katie pulled me into a quiet coffee shop on the corner of a street a block away. We sat in the black booth, and both ordered coffees. I didn’t drink it much, but I was freezing and I hated it when hot chocolate made my teeth feel fuzzy.
Katie’s chocolate eyes were watching me and I looked up, giving her a questionable glance.
“Sorry if it seems I’m staring,” she chuckled. “But your eyes give me literal goosebumps up and down my skin. They’re unusual.”
I laughed a little; “Should I take that as a compliment?”
“I think you should since I am practically restraining myself from taking your eyes, darling,” she told me.
“Thank you,” I smiled. “But don’t take them out...I need them.”
“I can’t promise that,” she replied with a wink. “But for you, I’ll try.”
I just laughed and took another sip of my coffee. But burnt my tongue in the mean time, causing me to look like the biggest idiot in public known to man. Katie laughed and just asked politely for some water.
“How long have you, well, known Liam for?” I asked after the burning had gone and my tongue was just numb.
“I met him through Niall, actually,” she informed me. “My ma and his ma used to school together in high school; good friends actually. Niall introduced me to Liam and the lads halfway between X Factor. Liam and I just got on really well, and, well, we’ve been together for about a year and a bit now.”
“Oh,” I smiled, “that’s cute actually.”
She smiled back and finished off her coffee.
“You and Niall, tell me the story of that, yeah?” She asked me.
I chuckled, to myself, and just shook my head in remembrance.
“It was only my first night coming to London and I was pissed as shit,” I started to explain. “I mean, 1) I felt pretty fucked up, 2) I was to be stuck with some stupid boyband for four months but (3) not including when they come to Australia. I met Louis, Liam and Zayn in their room, and we went down to dinner with everyone. Harry and Niall came along, and I was just...instantly drawn to Niall; it’s hard to explain. The rest is history, suppose.”
“Tour manager’s daughter, right?” She questioned.
“In the flesh,” I sighed.
“But, look, you seem like you’ve actually enjoyed the past, what, two months?” She pointed out. “Not so bad, eh, yeah?”
“I hate it when someone else is right,” I said, smiling a tiny bit. Katie’s phone went off and she sighed, giving me an ‘I’m sorry‘ look.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Katie apologized, “but I have to go to practice now.”
“Practice?” I repeated as we stood up.
“I’m a ballet dancer,” she told me. “I’m actually training to be a professional, really. I have a big, big show coming up and I’m hoping this will make or break me.”
“Oh, wow,” I just said as we headed out, pulling our sunglasses on as the sun seeped through the clouds.
“I’ll talk to you later, Rosie,” she smiled, waving me off. I waved goodbye to her and headed back to the hotel, hoping to find something productive to do. I stopped outside an ice cream parlor and grabbed myself an ice cream (And don’t say it’s too early for ice cream; it is never too early for ice cream).
Click - flash.
Click - flash.
I was blinded by flashes of light burning my eyes as the sun ducked behind the clouds again. I blinked my eyes open enough to see a swarm of paparazzi blocking my way into the hotel. Oh, shit.
“Excuse me,” I said politely, hoping to break my way through them. They pushed me back.
Click - flash.
Click - flash.
Click - flash.
I held up a hand to my face and tried again, but they wouldn’t let me through. I felt like a rabbit caught in a car’s headlights.
“C’mon, lurv,” a gruff voice spoke up, “show us ye‘ purdy face.”
“Where’s that smile, lurv?” Another one asked, a similar sounding voice. “Show ‘em pearly white teeth.”
“I said move!” I exclaimed, pushing one of them in front of me in the frenzy. He started to fall and grappled onto thin air, hitting his head on the revolving door with a big thwack. Some others tended to him as I came to realise what I had done.
“Oh, a wee sassy one ‘ave we?” The same voice came. “Guess this is going to be a successful story, well t’en.”
I shoved my way through again, this time conquering the swarming paparazzi as they were too busy with the man I had pushed down rather than my escape.
My lungs felt like they were concaving in. The tears were welling in my eyes, threatening to strike like a thunderstorm at any second, as I headed up to Niall and I’s room. I closed the door behind me and collapsed on the bed, flipping my phone between my hands in deciding whether I should call someone. Especially Niall.
But I was an eighteen year old girl who shouldn’t rely on another human being to fix this. I was overreacting; sitting here and crying.
I chucked my phone to the side and clutched at my heaving sides as my crying came out like a cat yowling to come in from the rain, soaking wet from the weather and just wanting a cuddle.
I didn’t want all of this. I didn’t want to be the target of any of their petty stories.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You shot me with your golden revolver before I could take mine out of the holster.
And you left me there lying on the ground.
And you were nowhere, nowhere to be found.
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I have the most weirdest similes in the world, ask anyone that knows me.
I promised you all another chapter tonight, so I did so.
Joking, but, yeah.
I hope this makes up for me being lazy and not posting as much.