SOUNDTRACK: valerie: mark ronson+amy winehouse
i absolutely adore this song.
yes, i know it's a cover.
no, i haven't heard the original.
AND HERE'S ANOTHER STORY FOR ALLEEEEX!
and just a reminder,
jamie swears like a sailor ;)
- - - - -
"Oi Jamie, do you think I could rock a mustache?"
I called from the tiny bathroom.
I stared in the mirror,
moving my top lip up and down,
side to side.
I also added the eye brow raising,
and eventually the pout and kiss.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?"
Jamie laughed from the loungeroom.
I walked out of the bathroom and stood in the door way, looking at Jamie eating my food and drinking my beer.
"/Dude/, stop eating my stuff!"
I went and sat next to him,
grabbing a hand full of Doritos.
He had the small TV on,
watching some reailty show
with orange people.
"What ... the hell is this?"
I said, stuffing my face with Doritos.
Jamie picked up the good ol' TV guide from the paper
and made a confused face.
"'The Jersey Shore'? What the /fu.cking/ hell?"
He threw the guide back down and stuffed his face,
turning his atention back to the TV anyway.
"Who has a name like /Snookie/?"
I asked, inbetween handfuls of chips.
Jamie turned to look at me.
"America is insane. Why did we ever move here?"
We laughed together.
"I seriously don't know."
I stood and went to get myself a beer.
/... FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOOOUNG .../
Jamie's phone started to ring.
"You still have that as your ringtone?"
I laughed, holding the fridge door open.
"Shut up dude, I like it."
He dug his phone out of his back pocket and answered it.
Ever since we were young and my dad showed us
our first episode of The Simpsons, Jamie has answered
the phone just the way Homer does.
Old habits die hard I s'pose.
I heard him mumble words into his phone,
a small laugh here and there too.
It was probably Isla on the phone.
Now that they had made up - again,
Jamie had gone all romantic - again.
Now there's nothing wrong with that of course,
but I had gotten used to having Jamie just hanging out with me.
And now that Stella and I had ... gone our seperate ways,
I felt like I was always alone.
That can be fixed.
A night out in New York City can change everything.
And that’s what I need.
I jumped up and sat on the kitchen bench and took a swig
Jamie hung up
and turned down the tv,
looking at me with an eager expression.
"Man, we're going out tonight
and there's no getting out of it."
He said excitedly.
I asked hopefully.
"Pub /and/ club crawl."
"Well how could I ever say no to that."
hoping down off the bench.
turning the volume of the telly up again.
"Oh and Isla's bringing her friend."
Jamie said with his mouth full of chips.
I thought for a moment,
the name not ringing any bells.
"Dude, do you read any form of social climbing articles from the media?"
I stared at him blankly.
He stared back at me.
"No wait! There was that one magazine ... Lindsay Loan-ham was on the cover."
Jamie literally face palmed.
He laughed and laughed
as he stood up.
Then he doubled over in laughter.
"I-I have tears in my eyes!"
He said as he laughed,
picking up his shoulder bag from school today.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?"
I threw up my hands.
"Isn't that her name?"
"I'll come by later.
Be ready to crawl the city streets lad."
He shook his head,
a grin still on his face
as he closed the door.
.... So that's not her last name?
PUB+CLUB CRAWL TIME!
The music blared throughout the club,
bodies bouncing up and down on the
dance floor. People stood so close to
each other, they seemed to morph into
It kinda creeped me out.
I sat at the bar with Jamie, Isla and
... Ashley? - away from the dancing,
grinding and pulsing ... bodies.
Sipping my colourful drink, I listened to
Isla and Ashley's conversation next to me.
" ... Can you believe that? So just because I felt that being with my boyfriend when his grandmother was /dying/ for gods sake, was a 'better opportunity' than finishing the meeting with her about the Wang show, she calls up his PA and tells them that I decided against doing that show! I mean, seriously? I wanted that show so badly, but because I actually have /feelings/ and /emotions/ I now don't have the job."
Ashley blurted out,
taking a sip of her cocktail after her speech.
Isla hadn't responded yet.
Now, I don't know a lot about how women's mind work,
but I think she was meant to say something by now.
I decided to nudge her,
instead of give Ashley another chance at a monologue.
She jumped but I quickly and descreetly pointed my head in Ashley direction.
"Oh-oh yeah. Of course. Mhm."
I knew she wasn't listening.
"Dude, are you even listening to me?"
It was my turn to pretend.
Jamie pushed my arm,
grabbing my attention.
I racked my brain for some sort of link to what he might have been talking about.
Nothing came up.
"I-I ... Well, I think ... that the way p-people speak has .. changed too?"
"What the f.uck dude?"
calming me down.
"Where did you even think of that?"
"I have nooo idea."
I picked up my glass and drunk the rest.
Jamie spun around on his seat and looked across the crowd.
"See any that catch your fancy?"
He took a swig.
I spun and scanned.
"Oh hey look! There's one of the oompa loompa's from that show!"
"Dude, they're everywhere."
Two oompa loompa's walked across the dance floor,
towards the bar.
Don't stop near us.
Don't stop near us.
Don't stop near us.
The most orange one stood infront of me,
while the shorter one stood infront of Jamie.
Said the cake-face.
I looked away.
Her shoulders slumped.
"Yeah, sorry ... girl," I was about to call her Snookie, "But tonight's not the night."
Her hands stopped rubbing my thighs,
her arms falling to her sides.
"So you're gay, is that it?"
"What? No! You're just not my type."
I looked away again.
She death stared me and turned on her heel,
grabbing her friend's arm, not noticing if she was talking to Jamie.
Jamie turned to look at me, his face in an expression that told me he was holding in a laugh.
"They're far enough away now, you can laugh."
Jamie didn't hold back, I'm telling you.
He actually fell off his seat too,
he was laughing so much.
"You should have heard w-what she said to m-me!"
He howled in laughter.
"What did she say, lad?"
"Well, she put her hands on my legs,
stood REAL close and whispered in my ear:
'I'm not wearing any underwear.'"
He raised his eyebrows,
his hands in the air,
a wild grin on his face.
"Seriously? What did you say?"
"Nothing. You pulled her away before I could respond. I was in a trance - halfway between being turned on and frightened."
He shook his head, smiling and sipping his drink.
OKAY DUDES THIS SHALL BE CONTINUED SHORTLY. I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS ON AND OFF FOR THE PAST WEEK NOW AND I JUST WANT TO PUBLISH IT OKAY? OKAY. GOOD. I WILL.
SO COMMENT ON IT SO FAR WITH WHAT YOU THINK BUT IT WILL BE ALLLL FINISHED SOME TIME.
i have like, 3 assignments due next weeek and i have done hardly anything for eah of them.
i hate school.
that is all.