ll She Wolf- Shakira ll
Friday, August 10, 2012: Starlight Theatre is having a deluxe, exclusive movie premiere, and of course, we're invited. All of the hottest celebrities will be there, and a red carpet will be laid out, so feel free to walk it and make sure to work it for the paparazzi because of course everyone will be watching.
"Ugh," I whine from inside my closet, pulling on the pair of lamé silk pants. The hang loosely on my body and nearly fall down off my skinny hips. Dam*n it. I shrug the blank tank top over my head, then clasping the golden plated choker around my scrawny neck. 
The pants were not cooperating. I needed a belt. I had none though. Usually, belts were a foreign object to me. 

I guess that long purge I just did really helped. It must really be working. Good, my fat as* needed it. 

I walk out of my closet and then out of my room, heading down the hall to Claire's room, and knocking gently twice before she answers. "Yeah?" She says. 
She has velcro rollers all around her honey-colored head, and her makeup has already been done, making her look even more flawless than she already does. 

"Do you have a belt I can borrow?" I ask, picking up my the waistband of my pants slightly with my hand. 

"Yeah," She says, walking into her room as I follow her, heading into her huge closet. Shuffling through a drawer, she finally pulls out a gold belt, identical to the look of my pants. She hands it to me and I smile. 

"Thanks," I say, heading for the door. 

"Welcome," She smiles. "Wait, Cierra," She says and just as I'm about to open the door, I turn around, looking at her.

"Are you okay?" She asks. "You look a little… pale and… not happy."

I nod, "I'm fine," I say. "Just tired," I smile, "Thanks again," I say finally as I close the door of her room, heading back to my own to get ready for this God awful night. 

There was a movie premiere tonight and I really just wasn't in the mood right now. No way. I was tired. Exhausted, really. I wasn't in the mood for the blaring lights and the paparazzi. I looked and felt like crap and I just couldn't take it. 

After I do my hair and makeup, I'm ready. I slip on my high heels and sling my Chanel bag onto my shoulder, then going down the steps, holding onto the railing for balance, before the floor slips out from under me and I land at the bottom of the stairs, right on my as*. 
"Sh*t," I mutter, standing up, dusting myself off and seeing a bruise already forming on my arm. 

"Cierra, honey, are you okay? You should really be more careful!" My mother says as I slightly limp over to her. 

"I'm fine," I scoff, standing next to Celeste. 

"You sure?" She asks, tilting her head to the side. I watch her, black dots dancing in front of my eyes. "You don't look so good." 

I wave it off, "I'm fine," I say firmly. "I'm okay… just tired." 

"Try getting some sleep tonight," She suggests as we all begin to walk out the door, towards the giant, Hummer limo that awaits us. 

"That won't help," I say quietly as I step into the limo. 

"Did you say something?" She asks, taking her seat. 

I shake my head, "No," I say. "Nothing at all."

We arrive at the theatre, and we walk onto the red carpet. It's like it usually is, the lights are bright, the voices are loud and pressuring and I'm standing there, my arms linked with Claire and Celeste. 
There are black dots dancing, moving faster and faster in front of my vision, the air is getting lighter and lighter and before I know it, my vision is blocked, and it all goes black. 
When I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is that I'm in the office of the theatre on the ground. There's a balled up sweatshirt used to prop up my head, as well as some EMTs standing above me, along with my mom and Claire and Celeste.

I stare at them blankly and they stare back at me. "Honey, are you okay?" My mom asks, fake worried written all over her face. 

I prop myself up on my elbows, putting a hand to my head, which is pounding. Everything feels a bit fuzzy to me. "What happened?" I ask, ignoring her question. 

"You fainted," Claire says softly, looking at me. 

"You fell backwards before we could catch you," Celeste says, her voice also, a soft, light tone. 

I blink a few times before sitting up fully. "Can I get a bottle of water?" I ask no one in particular, but within about a second, I'm handed an ice cold bottle of Voss, which I gladly take, drinking it fast. 

"Can someone help me up?" I ask and I shakily stand up, my legs like that of a newborn baby deer. I feel like Bambi on ice. 

The EMTs ad my mother talk. Apparently, I was dehydrated, I didn't have high enough blood sugar, I had low blood pressure too. I basically was a train wreck in designer clothes. 

"Cierra, what happened?" Celeste asks as I take a few deep breaths, taking a few sips of the water. 

I shake my head, shrugging my petite shoulders, "I don't know," I say. "I don't know," I sigh. 

But that was the thing. I did know. I knew specifically what I was doing to myself. I knew that I was depriving myself and purging whatever I could. I knew that I was slowly killing myself with every single day that this continued to go on. But I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I wasn't there yet. I would never be there though. 

"Am I okay to go to the movie?" I ask my mother once she turns back to me. 

She shakes her head, "I think you should go home," She says softly. "Claire will drive you home," 

I nod, "Fine," I say softly, not in the mood and definitely not having enough energy to have an argument. 

"Come on," Claire says, taking my hand and leading me out the office, out the movie theatre and to her car. Although we mostly all took the limo, she drove. She mostly always drove. I think she liked driving. 
The paparazzi are loud and annoying. They're asking if I'm okay with mock concern, when I really know that all they want is the money shot, the shot of the young socialite that just fainted, the shot that they're going to sell to US Weekly and are going to make them rich. 

We drive in silence and once we reach the mansion, she helps me up the stairs, carrying my heels in her hands. I get into my bed, not bothering to change and she kisses the top of my head, saying that I'll be okay and that I should get some rest. 

I nod lightly before shutting my eyes and this time the blackness is a good one.
When I open my eyes again, Celeste and Claire are sitting on my bed. I look at them, "Hey," I say softly. "What are you guys doing here?" 

They're still dressed in their outfits from the premiere so I'm guessing they just got home. It must be really late at night then. 

"Just checking in on you," Celeste says, petting my foot underneath my blanket. 

"Listen," Claire says sweetly. "We just wanted to ask you something." 

"What is it?" I ask. 

"If there was something going on with you… you'd tell us, right?" Celeste asks. 

"I mean, Cierra, we know we're not that close with you, but if there was something seriously wrong with you… you'd tell us right?" Claire seconds. 

I nod. I was starting to realize it all, just as they were. They were putting the pieces of the mysterious puzzle together.
"Yeah, of course I would," I say. 
I give them a reassuring smile, hoping to cover up my lie. 
One thing was for sure though now- I was too deep in to even tell anyone. They were finding out, putting it together, and before I knew it, I had a feeling that my secret would come running out of the closet before I even had the time or energy to stop it.
@silvermoons @istylista story up!
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Wrote 4 years ago
Not trying to be too motherly, but I'm just worried about you Ci.
xx Claire

Wrote 4 years ago
@silvermoons Good to know.
xx Cierra

Wrote 4 years ago
If you say so. Just know you're not alone.
x, Celeste.

Wrote 4 years ago
@silvermoons So what if I am hiding something? It doesn't matter. I'm fine.
xx Cierra



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