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Serena, ESE.
collab with @mademoibelle 


An inviting air-conditioned slap in the face welcomed me as I entered the lobby of The Palace hotel, it was grand, to say the least. Adorned with suspending chandeliers, almost like larger than life Tiffany earrings, the cold tile floor was perfect to lie during a hot day, and the curtains were detailed with such style and care, almost like a gigantic Lanvin dress. I immediately thought of Blair and how I was actually supposed to meet her here. Knowing her, it was some cruel joke, but I didn’t care. If I just had some time to explain myself without Nate, and with her new friends, I knew things would get closer to be alright. Blair’s one of those people, she goes out to be complex, spontaneous, full of mysterious like Holly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, walking in asking what she can buy with a budget of ten dollars. But that’s not Blair. And if it was, I’d fucking hate her. Blair’s the sarcastic, in style, chick-flick loving sap, there’s realism to that Blair, the Blair that doesn’t have her guards up with her ‘minions’ blocking. Walking apprehensively towards the bar, I shifted in my leather pants, playing the possible horrible outcomes that could happen in my head. As I saw Blair, wearing her “I don’t give a sh*t” outfit; A black cardigan, her golden charm bracelet, and jeans. She was pissed but at the same time, why did she invite me. I gave Blair enough credit to see that public humiliation doesn’t affect me anymore. Posture, as straight as can, legs crossed, Blair was tugging on her sweater while eating olives from a bowl. I quickly walked over with a smile in my eyes, and nudged her,

“Hey B” Sounds of scratching a chalk board, children screams, anything and everything awful couldn’t par to the amount of suspense rushing through me as Blair slowly and demonically turned around,

“Hello Serena, don’t you look dolled up,” she said in coy smirk. Before I could respond, the bartender, glanced at me and said, 

“Sorry but, you look familiar, are you a Van der Woodsen?” 

I responded with a nod, “Why do you ask?”

“I knew it,” she grimaced, “ I hooked up with your older brother Erik, shame he enlisted in the military.”

I did my best to contain not laughing, I’d never thought I’d meet one of Erik’s one night stands, especially not one who actually believed the lies he made up to get rid of them. 

“Drinks for the two of you? You’re underrage, but it’ll be on the house, and our little secret. Just because Erik was THAT good.” She grinned. And with that I shook my head no, with the urge to vomit.

“I don’t have all day.” Blair scoffed, I rolled me eyes, getting really tired of this. 

“What’s the point,” I muttered in defeat with an attempted smile, not really knowing what else to do or say.

“Don’t be sad, Serena,” Blair laughed, “I don’t see any point either, I got all dolled up for you, smacked on a red lip, courtesy of YSL. And I was hoping we could get some closure.”

I almost lost it right there and there,

“CLOSURE?!” I spat out as Blair’s eyes got wide, signaling me to be quiet, “And since when did you start calling me Serena, too? What happened to you when I left.”

“Only wonderful things, my dad moved to France…with another made, so I have a second home, my mom lost 40 pounds, an eyelift, and met a new guy, Tyler’s doing good in school, I think. I made three best friends, and I’m going out with Nate. And with you back, I’d love to have you as…acquaintances?”

“Your dad and your mom…”I sputtered, “I mean congrats, but” I began before being interrupted,

“But there’s something wrong, it has to be turned into a negative. Listen Serena, I do this because I love you. And seeing you at my party just killed me in every single aspect.” Blair clenched, “You are scum, and at least scum can admit to being scum, you acted like you have changed. I don’t like this fake façade you put, I know you have a natural ability to just come and whisk everything away, like Isabel, Kati, Rain, and Nate. I just had enough of it when my own MOTHER said I should be like you. A drugged up, slutty mess on legs who goes off to ‘boarding school’ for attention and comes back, no Serena, just no.” And Blair broke down, barely holding herself up. Tears streamed through my eyes, the words hurt, as did people’s judging glares, but seeing B liked this, killed me. 

“Just take off the sweater, maybe it’s preventing you from breathing,” I suggest.

“Calling me fat? Ha, love you bitchh.” Blair snapped, slipping out of her black cardigan, revealing a tank top. Mine. The one that I gave to her in middle school that was WAY too big for her. It went down to her knees then. Just that memory put my racing heart at ease.

“I don’t want things to be like this,” I muttered as Blair sipped the drink of water the bartended gave her.

“Neither do I.” she said deadpan. 

“So,” I began, “What really happened when I left?”

“I had no one there for me when my dad LEFT my mom, she had a nervous breakdown, Tyler and I had to move out to our grandparents. No one, not even Nate could help me the way you could.” Blair sniffled, “That’s the glamorous version, to say the least.”

“Blair, I’m really sorry to hear that.” Was all I was capable to say.

“I could tell, considering how you weren’t even there the entire time it was happening.” She snapped.

“I just HAD to get out, I mean Boarding school was – “I began and was interrupted, yet again.

“The funny thing is, I don’t even know why you went to boarding school. Do you even know how it felt like hearing from your mom, ‘Oh didn’t you hear, Serena moved to Massachusetts?” 

“You don’t understand, I had to, no – I NEEDED to get away from everyone and everything. Just please, trust me.” I pleaded, ready to get down on my knees and beg. But Blair showed no change in expression.

“How can I trust you when I feel like I don’t even know you.”

“We can fix that,” I beamed, “I get the life you have in school and I get it, and I would never take that away from you.”

“Because it’s just yours to take it if you wanted to.” Blair said, each words like a stiletto stab in the chest. I saw no hope, no progress, no chance in ever regaining Blair’s trust.

“I just miss it, I miss you. Adventures on the French country side, night swimming at Constance’s pool, laughing at people who we didn’t know at a party thrown by someone we didn’t even know.” I poured out, and Blair let out a chuckle, a sign of hope, “Plus, we’re sisters B.”

“Well you missed a lot, but you’re here now.” She said lightly, slowly putting her guards down. I smiled, exhaled, the weight has been lifted off my shoulder, the Blair I loved was back, “And it’s a shame you weren’t properly welcomed back to the Upper East Side.”

“That has to change,” I giggled.

“It does, I’m throwing you a party,” Blair said coyly, eating an olive. I grinned, my face could explode from the constant smiling, just to see things were getting close to normal. Then again things weren’t normal, even when I was here.
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