I've always thought of my self as being a person of polar ends. Always an extreme. I have a feeling about something and stick with it. There is no in between. I love or hate. When I fill out surveys its always "STRONGLY AGREE" or "STRONGLY DISAGREE". Anything in the middle is meaningless. 

Since high school started, I feel so mediocre. Everyone is finding the niche. They are making friends, getting their name out there, coping with the school work, settling into the school. Some are even thriving by now. I'm more than happy for them. I've got to watch my friends become the people I know them to be in front of the rest of our peers and they are being accepted. 

The thing that worries me is...I haven't made that transition. School is fine. I can keep up with the work. Not to say its easy, but I know what it takes and I get along fine. Its the social aspect. I'm just not making friends. but the worst part about it is that I have no motivation to do so. It like I've put up these natural walls repelling people. I dont want to do that, but I can't bring myself to figure out what is needed to talk to human beings that I don't know like the back of my hand. I just can't do it. I over think it. 

Im miserable at school, I really am. 

if you happened to read this, thanks
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