ll Perfect Words- Outasight ll
"So, you're saying you don't trust guys?" Reid says, glancing over at me, one hand on the steering wheel, one on the armrest, so suave while driving us to the location of our second date.
I never knew I would enjoy conversations so much. Especially conversations that involved opening up in the slightest. I was usually reserved when it came to talking about my trust issues, with men especially, but while talking about past relationships with Reid, the good, the bad, the ugly, we had found a common ground, something we both could use in order to relate to each other. We related because we agreed that honestly, we regretted past relationships so much.
Reid didn't seem the type to really regret relationships. I could see him as simply moving on, and letting that be that. But knowing that her regretted all of the cheerleaders and elite popular girls he had dated, it made me not as ashamed to admit to the regret and remorse of dating multiple drug dealers, party boys, and some boys that were just downright awful. Reid knew, he understood. He shared his stories, his experiences, and it was okay. It was comfortable and I found myself actually enjoying talking about it.
I guess after holding it in for so long, it was nice to let it out to someone who understood, someone who would listen.
"I'm not saying I don't entirely trust guys," I say defensively, "I'm just saying that after so many bad experiences with them, my guard is up sometimes. It's not necessarily a bad thing."
"Having your guard up is a good and a bad thing," He points out, looking at me for a split second, "It means you can protect yourself from getting hurt, but then you shut people out and you're unsure of who you can trust in the first place."
I think about it for the moment, "Okay, I see what you're saying, but it's easier to protect yourself from the hurt than let people in… because sometimes when you let people in, you end up getting hurt. Wouldn't you just rather protect yourself?"
"It's nice to protect yourself, but… isn't it nice to take that chance?"
"No." I answer bluntly.
"It is though," He says softly, "Even if you're risking yourself to hurt, something good may come out of it. And if you don't take that shot then you'll never know what could have been, whether it be good or bad,"
"So… like you and me," I say slowly, my mind wrapping around the words my brain was processing to say. "I had my guard up when I met you because I was hesitant of your past, and a bit of my past, but now that I've taken the chance and given you a chance, I realize it was worth it,"
He parks the car, "Exactly, see, you're getting it, Sienna," He winks at me and I grin, getting out of the car and stepping up onto the downtown sidewalk.
"Little by little," I muse as he holds the door open to the restaurant before prancing in beside me, getting our table and sitting down.
"I have to say I was a little surprised that you agreed to a second date," He says, grabbing his menu.
"Why?" I ask, "The first one did go pretty good,"
He shrugs, "I assumed that even if it was a good date, you wouldn't admit you liked it. You seemed like those moody, hiding-feelings type of girl,"
I laugh, "Please, that's a type of girl?"
"In my book it is," His strong shoulders shrug before he flashes me a smile.
"And in the book you probably have a lot of girls,"
"Enough about my book," He snaps jokingly.
"Fine, fine," I settle, smirking to myself for a second. "Ah, we get along so great," I smile lightly.
Reid laughs, "And that's why we'd be great together,"
"Getting ahead of yourself," I murmur.
"You did promise me something though," He looks at me, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"A kiss," I say, recalling our last encounter, "Which you'll get when I want and am ready to give,"
He gives me a look, "You promised though," He pouts.
"Maybe I'll be ready at the end of this date… you never know. I am such a mystery after all," I laugh lightly to myself.
"You are, it's exactly what I like in you too,"
"You're a kiss up,"
"It's not kissing up if it's the truth," He points out.
I roll my eyes at him as the waitress comes by, taking our orders and collecting our menus in the process. Taking a sip of my soda, I glance at him, really taking his physical appearance all in. He really was a handsome, cute guy. I could clearly see the obvious appeal to him. And as I got to know him even more, I saw the real, true personality appeal that drew me in, and in, and in, until my feelings took over, slowly, like tiny little monsters attacking my heart, one by one, making me want him even more.
"As if that's the truth," I bat him off.
"It is," He says honestly, looking at me, looking me dead set in the eyes.
"Whatever you say, Reid… whatever you say,"
This date goes by slower, time seeming to stop just for us as we get the opportunity to really just inhale this date and enjoy it.
But then it's over, and partially, I'm happy because I'm tired and my feet hurt because of the uncomfortable shoes, but I'm also sad because it's been such a good date.
I feel so genuinely happy, right then, at that very moment and it almost saddened me because I was terrified as to whether or not I'd feel like this again.
Hopefully the next time I would be with Reid, I would feel like this.
"Well, I hope you had a good night," I smile as Reid and I stop at my doorstep.
"I did… but I think you're forgetting something," He says, biting his lip for a second.
"Hm, am I?" I ask, even though I do remember. My promise, my guarantee. Something I had to give him. Something I waned to give him and lastly, something I was horrified to give him.
I felt like my thirteen year old self, so nervous for her first kiss with a beautiful boy. It's been such a long time since I had kissed someone. A long time since a kiss from me was even meaningful at that.
But I have to forget all of that, all of the thoughts, the worry, the confusion, the tiny monsters called feelings attacking my heart, and so I do, for that one second of vulnerability as I leaned in and up to his face, kissing him, his hand reaching out to cup my face.
I break the kiss after a moment, pulling away, and taking one more backwards step towards my door, placing my hand on the knob, "So, do this again sometime?" I ask.
"Oh trust me, we'll be doing a lot more of this this summer," He smiles at me before backing up, "Good night, Sienna,"
"Good night, Reid," I say before turning my back to him.