I just want a boy who is afraid to lose me

Dear you,
It's been a month since me and you ended. A month since we were happy and completely in love with each other. A month since all the kisses and hugs stopped. A month since all our texts stopped. A month is a long time for so little to happen. It's been a whole month you and I miss you to pieces.
I tell myself I don't. And honestly sometimes I don't. I get on with my life like you were never in it and then everything's fine. But just as soon as you left your back in my head and all these emotions just take over.
I'm angry. I'm angry you left me so confused and that you left me because I wasn't ready for what you wanted.
I'm sad. I'm sad that all the texts and hugs and giving each other everything has stopped. Those moments meant the world to me at the time.
I'm tired. I'm tired of people telling me about you and what I should think. I will think what I like and I know if anyone else visited my head, they'd probably explode.
And the worse one. I'm not happy. I need to find my happy again because a month ago, I lost it. You made up a lot of my happiness and I can't thank you enough for that.
There I'll be fine and doing alright with my friends or finishing a piece of work in class when my mind will wonder. And I'll just stop. I'll stop and think of you, of us, of what we were. Of what we could of been.
I don't like you anymore. I tel myself this on a daily basis. I'ts true, in some ways.
I know you don't like me but I know for a fact, hand on my heart I could tell you that you miss me more than I miss you. You have always loved me more than I ever loved you. I know, you've told me. And if I ever had to believe something you told me, I would 100% believe that. You miss me more than I miss you. And I like that.
It's our last day of school tomorrow for two whole weeks. That's a while that I won't see you. It's time for some me time I think. I'll go out and have a good time. You're free from being grounded on the 1st April. Who knows? I might see you around. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.
But you, Listen to me when I say this. I understand you dislike me and don't trust me. But please, trust me when I tell you this.
I loved you. I did. I loved you for 3 months. I loved you like any other girl loves her boyfriend. I cared for you just a much as you did. You still mean a lot to me. You were something positive in my life and I intend to keep it that way. You will always be my first love, my first kiss, the first person who I loved. You will always be the first. And you should remember that. Because I will always remember you the way you were 2 months ago. And I will keep those memory's so close to my heart and never, ever let them leave me. I'm sorry. I just wish everything was okay in our lives again. But I guess there not. And they won't be for a while.
Good Luck you. I will always remember us.
Lulu x
26/3/13
    • Blog

6 comments

lululovesyou
Wrote one year ago
Ahh right @beexmellark thank you xx
Thank you too @libertyflowers xx ♥

beexcarstairs
Wrote one year ago
The collection and the title mostly...haha

libertyflowers
Wrote one year ago
This collection is so beautiful !!

lululovesyou
Wrote one year ago
Thank you @ellaavarose xx
and @beexmellark do you mean the description or actual collection? < 3

ellaavarose
Wrote one year ago
beautiful <3

beexcarstairs
Wrote one year ago
my god i can relate to this collection so much atm. Just saying :/

148 likes