"Lately I walk in doubt, maybe it's crashing down."-TRR

~Empire Of The Sun, Half Mast {I love this band they're kinda weird but so awesome.}
 
http://brunettesilhouette.tumblr.com
 
I decided to try this layout again after using it on this set: http://www.polyvore.com/steals_my_strength_robs_mind.-mtw/set?id=53979511 and anyway I think I like it :) What about you guys?
 
Sunday, July 29, 2012: We're allowed to have some fun… right? Tonight, it's just us. Mom and dad are away at some sort of a business meeting, followed by a romantic night, so we have the house (and practically the entire town!) to ourselves for the night. Stay in and snuggle up with a movie in the deluxe theatre room, or maybe even sneak out and have a tiny bit of fun. But if you are going out, make sure you're home by midnight, because if you're not home by then… well, then there will be consequences.
 
When Mom and Dad left, I told Maria, the maid who knew about my “condition” to go ahead home early. I knew she had young children and she was always there late, doing anything Mom asked. And she was always the one who made sure I took my pills at night, whenever Mom and Dad weren’t around. Although it felt weird talking to Maria, /lying/ to her, it felt strangely liberating and I didn’t know why. I didn’t usually feel things like that. I supposed the fact that my afternoon pills were about to wear off was maybe the case.
 
“Miss Calliope, you must not forget to take your pills,” Maria said in a stern voice. “Remember, eight o’clock.”
 
I smiled sweetly, the best smile I could manage while the afternoon pills were still lazily finding their way through my body. “I won’t forget. Have a good night.”
 
Maria slipped out the back door before any of my sisters could notice, and when Yulia walked by a few minutes later, I was absentmindedly staring into space, like I always did. Except this time I could sense the rush of doing something I never did.
 
I had never skipped taking my pills.
 
I trailed into the kitchen behind who was left. Cassandra, Camille, and Cierra stood around the counter as Claire sat atop it, enjoying her role as being in charge while Mom and Dad were gone. I joined them, sitting down on a stool as they bickered. Eventually Camille left, like we all knew she would, and then Cierra and Cassandra.
 
"You're having fun with this," I said, when it was just Claire and I.
 
"I am. So what are you going to do tonight? Aren't going to pass up this wonderful opportunity to sneak out, are you?" Claire smiled, but I could tell it was a coverup because she was annoyed that no one was listening to her the way she had wanted.
 
"I could ask the same of you," I whispered, my face blank.
 
"I literally have no where to go. It seems like all my friends are in London now. There's really nobody here for me to hang out with." Claire shrugged, and I wished I could feel jealousy as strongly as everyone else because Claire was someone to be jealous of. But I couldn’t. All I could feel was something of a pinch, reminding me that Claire was just blessed and I was cursed.
 
"What about Ryder?" I asked, not looking at her.
 
"Eh… I'm actually really tired. Being the boss is hard work. I don't think any of them will actually come home before twelve. Oh well. Goodnight." I heard her going up the stairs, and I turned my head toward the noise, but didn’t say “night” back until she was safely in her room.
 
Then I grabbed my purse and disappeared into the dark.
 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Around 9:15 I felt my head become a little lighter and my lips curled at the edges. I let the ocean air skim my lips and I opened my arms wide, like I was flying, and fell back onto the sand. I couldn’t help but laughing, having that urge to laugh at completely nothing, and it felt good. I hadn’t felt like that since I was little, and I realized how screwed up the pills were. Because if they were keeping me from feeling this, feeling happy, then they weren’t worth anything. Mom and Dad would never see that.
 
I felt water envelop my lower half, and I screamed so loud I had to cover my ears. The sand around me started to move with the sea, and I felt my body being lifted closer to the shoreline. I kept screaming and giggling, and eventually, maybe hours later, a pair of arms grabbed me and pulled me away.
 
“There’s no lifeguard on duty,” a silky voice said in my ear. I twisted around in the stranger’s grasp and found warm brown eyes staring back at me.
 
“I don’t need a lifeguard,” I answered bravely. I covered my mouth with my palms, unsure that that had really come out of my mouth. I let out another laugh and whoever he was smirked, c-cking his head as he took a step backward.
 
“Well, it would be a tragedy for a Carmichael girl to drown,” he said, biting his lip. It occurred to me how I had never noticed how s-xy that was. I guessed maybe the only thing I had ever felt about Henry was that he was nice and had a good smile. I never thought anything about him was “s-xy”. Or maybe I had never been able to feel something like that before.
 
“Who are you?” I blurted.
 
“Sebastian,” he answered. I noticed he didn’t offer his hand, but he stepped back toward me, brown eyes watching me. “And you’re Calliope.”
 
“Maybe,” I told him, feeling myself inject a bit of lust in my voice, but I didn’t know why. It was weird. I kept smiling at him, and he laughed a little. I laughed too.
 
“So what are you doing out here all by yourself?” He glanced around. This stretch of the beach was nearly empty. A few lights flickered down by the boardwalk, but I couldn’t even make out who it was. “It can get dangerous…”
 
I raised an eyebrow. “I think I can handle the hermit crabs.”
 
“Oh, they’re pretty fierce.” He looked back at me again, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. I watched him light it, blowing smoke into the night. It swirled around in the air like cotton candy, and I reached out, touching it before it drifted away.
 
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re not going to offer me one?”
 
He sort-of stumbled over his words, ultimately not saying anything. He just handed me one, lighting it for me. I felt it in my hands, feeling it begin to burn my skin, and stared at it. I felt laughter bubbling in my chest, but I stuck the cigarette in my mouth before it could escape. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had never done something like this before. Yet he watched me, and when the smoke flitted away from me, he pursed his lips approvingly, like I had done it right.
 
“Thought the Carmichael sisters were all perfect. Didn’t think any of you smoked,” he commented, brushing his hand against mine. Instead of jerking it away, I caught his fingers, blowing smoke right into his face. He didn’t cough, probably from years of smoking experience, but he closed his eyes, taking in the nicotine cloud.
 
“I’m not like my sisters.”
 
He opened his eyes and studied me, still holding on to my hand. “Apparently not.”
 
I could feel my grin dropping fast, so I tore away from him, scrambling up the beach. He called out to me, but I just threw up a hand and hoped he wouldn’t follow me. I felt my mind spinning. By the time I got home it was past midnight, but no one expected me to be gone so I slipped upstairs into my room without anyone noticing.
 
But I was sure they could hear the glass break, was sure they could hear me screaming into my pillow, was sure they could hear the mess I was making. Still no one came in, not even Claire, and I realized maybe it was all in my head. Maybe I was hallucinating. Or maybe the glass wasn’t as loud as it was to me. Or maybe the mascara on my cheeks wasn’t as black and horrid as it was to me. Or maybe the pills I forced down my throat made me feel better.
 
But they didn’t make me feel better. They made me feel nothing.
 
[COMMENT IF YOU READ PLEASE :))) Credit to @istylista for a little of the story! @deidra-le-reve @ocean-blue-xo @silvermoons @hellobombshell @cate-in-the-sky]