Finish off the weekend right, lounge music at the cocktail bar mixed by DJ Kori and hip hop by DJ Cedric in the club's main room.
[Collab with the amazing @chrissykinz who is just so sweet!]
Spotting Dan at the bar downing a drink, I bit my lip in a nervous habit. He looked so hurt, so torn. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. My heart broke for him; he was my friend and I hated to see him like this. I walked over to him and placed a hand gently on his shoulder to get his attention. When he looked over his shoulder at me, I gave him a warm and comforting smile. "Hey Dan..." I greeted softly. "Everything okay?" I asked with concern.
"Oh yes everything is peachy" He snapped at me. I sighed and started to turn but out of the corner of my eye I saw his lips move, "Sorry.” He frowned a bit and I took a small step closer, "What happened?" I asked.
“A girl.” Was all he said to me.
I didn’t ask if I could sit down beside him, I just did anyways and I ordered myself a beer; which made him shoot his eyes up in surprise. “You wanna talk about it?” I offered softly, glancing at him; waiting for his reply.
"There isn’t much to talk about.” I didn’t have to be able to hear his voice to know he was annoyed with me, "My ex is a b.tch thats all really , oh and I am a dumb a.ss for letting her get to me but I can’t do anything about that can I?" He took a sip at his beer before his eyes found the one the bartender put in front of me, "Since when do you drink?"
I felt like some little girl being scolded, even though I knew I shouldn’t feel that way. I was of drinking age and I was responsible, why shouldn’t I be allowed to drink? “I…uh…I don’t normally drink, I’ve…I’ve just had a rough couple of days is all.” I explained quietly, bowing my head in shame. I looked back up and took a small sip of the alcohol, God it was gross. How did this help make someone feel better?
"Fair enough" He murmured, looking at me. "Maybe you should have tried something different though" He suggested with a small smile and I figured my face had shown my distaste for the drink. "They have sweeter tasting drinks" He added in.
"Very helpful Daniel" I rolled my eyes playfully.
“That’s what I’m here for.” He joked back with a grin.
I just nodded a bit and sipped at my drink, trying to keep my face as normal as possible. “So when does this start helping you feel better and forget how shi.tty you feel?” I asked him softly, turning to look at him; beer still in my hand as he chuckle at me.
He shrugged, "I don’t know" then he added in with a dry laugh, "I would usually say when it tastes good but lately that hasn’t been a good indicator," Turning towards me he asked, "So what has got you feeling down Miss Anna?"
I bit my lip, trying to figure out if I wanted to tell him or not. Sure he had asked, but did he really wanna know? I doubted it. People only said those types of things to be nice, they rarely ever meant it. “It’s a long story.” I whispered quietly, raking a hand through my hair.
“I’ve got time.” He told me, spreading his hands out.
I bit my lip, thinking once more. “If I tell you what’s bugging me, will you tell me what’s bothering you?” I asked him finally, raising a brow.
He shrugged and pointed at me, "I already told you" then after a moment decided it was okay to talk to me about what was bothering him, "But sure why not. So what's up?"
"You didn't really tell me anything. You only gave me a gender." I reminded him playfully with a smirk, letting him know I was just teasing him. "But anyways . . . I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately." I explained softly.
"About?" He prompted me. "My mom and if I want to meet her or not." I explained quietly.
"Sounds serious" He said with a nod. "Do you want to meet her?" he asked me.
I shifted a bit in my seat, not sure how to answer that question. "Part of me wants to." I explained softly, "The other part of me is still scared that she won't want to get to know because I'm deaf. And then there is also that part of me that is pissed at her for leaving our family in the first place." I added in, the coldness in my voice. "Just not sure." I told him, shrugging my shoulders.
"Sounds like you want closure," he explained before adding in, "I think you should go see honestly.” I looked at him with surprise, "I am not saying you will be all friendly but don’t you deserve to find out if she wants to know you" He explained further and I nodded.
"And if she doesn’t?” I asked quietly, not sure if I wanted to even think about that possibility.
"F.ck her" He told me, which made me smile a bit but I also rose my brow, a bit surprised by his blunt reply. "You'll show her that you are just fine.” He added in.
I nodded a bit, realizing that he had a good point. If she didn't want to be in my life, I would just have to show her what she was missing out on. "Thanks Dan." I told him softly, a gentle smile on my face. "Your turn now." I urged him, nudging him playfully in the arm.
"You’re welcome" He said "My turn now" he added in wistfully. "Where should I start? I guess did you talk to a girl a few days ago , pretty brunette kind of looks like alexa chung?" He asked me with a sigh.
My eyebrows shot straight up in remembrance, “Oh yeah! She came by looking for you a few days ago. Said she was an old friend. I completely forgot to tell you, sorry. Were you guys able to get back in touch?” I asked him warmly, hoping he and his friend had been able to meet up.
"Oh we got in touch alright" He told me before adding in, "But she wasn’t an old friend" as he twirled the contents of the beer bottle in his hand around.
“Oh.” I murmured, glancing down at my hands with embarrassment, “I didn’t know.” I added in apologetically, looking up at him.
"I figured as much.” I didn’t have to hear his voice to know there was bitterness in it, and that made me flinch a bit. "But you wouldn’t know any better" He added in and I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a comforting and understanding thing or not.
Taking a sip of my beer, I thought over what t say while I worked at swallowing the disgusting liquid. “Why was she here? I mean . . . why was here looking for you? If you guys weren’t friends . . . why would she wanna see you?” I asked softly, not sure if this was my place to ask question.
He laughed which surprised me, "Well since you’re asking , I think she was here to make ruin my life it is what she is good at" I flinched a bit, not liking this side of Dan. "She is Louise , My ex" He added in and once more I could sense the bitterness.
“Oh I’m so sorry Dan. If I had known I wouldn’t have even talked to her.” I apologized honestly, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
"It's fine , What's done is done" He shrugged, "But anyway she is basically the reason I am here drinking. "So basically when you asked what was wrong and i said a girl I was summarizing.”
I bit my lower lip, trying to think of something to say to help make him feel better. "Why. . . why was she trying to get in touch with you again?" I asked him quietly, hoping he wouldn't get mad at me for asking about her.
"She was bored? I don't know really" He shrugged, "That might be a good thing if i did i believe i would be a psychotic b.tch"
I looked away before asking quietly, "So what exactly did she say?"
He shrugged once more, "Basically that I am just the same as she is"
"And what does that mean exactly? What are you doing that she normally does?" I asked him, hoping he would give me some more information.
"Well I am guessing she meant being a sIut" He brushed a hand through his hair, "Because I’m 'playing' around with two girls" He added in, turning to look at me. I blushed, not sure if he was mad at me or not, but I figured he was. I gave a small nod, not sure what to say to him now. I opened up my purse and pulled out some money for my beer that I barely even drank and set it on the counter, slipping off of the bar stool. “Well I better go.” I murmured, throwing my bag over my shoulder. He looked pissed, and most likely it was at me because I had inadvertently told his ex-girlfriend about my feelings for him and that I was hurt by some of his actions. So I decided it would be best if I left.
"It's not your fault", he turned to look at me before adding in; "Honestly". I just nodded, although I didn’t really believe him.
"How did you know I told her?" I asked softly.
"You’re the only deaf girl I know" He reminded me and my heart sunk even further into my stomach. “Oh.” Was all I murmured.
"If you really need to go then you should but don’t feel you have to because of me” He told me.
I looked at him for a moment, trying to think of something to say to him. “Do you really have to go Anna?” He asked me, raising a brow. “N-no.” I murmured softly, running a hand through my brown curls, not being able to lie to him. “But it’d be easier for everyone if I did.” I added in stiffly, “I’ll see you around Dan.” I told him; although I doubted I would. I would make an even bigger effort than I had before to avoid this guy.
"Well good luck with your mum then" He told me before asking me, "Do you really think I was just playing with you?" and I could tell that he was annoyed.
“I didn’t say that Dan. She came to that conclusion all on her own.” I told him softly.
“Well then what exactly did you tell her?” He asked me, raising a brow.
“That I had feelings for you but you didn’t know how you felt; but I was pretty sure you liked someone else.” I was being blunt, which wasn’t something I liked to do because it meant I could be rejected.
“And this person you think I like is?” He prompted.
“Some girl named Kitty or whatever. I accidently ran into her at the bar and it went downhill from there.” I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to go into the details about all the cruel things the woman had said to me; but I knew my face showed that I was hurt.
"You didn't fight over me did you?" He asked, looking at his hands.
I shrugged, "I wouldn’t call it a fight and it wasn’t over in you necessarily.” It was true. It didn’t start off as that, then it escaladed a bit.
"I should go.” He began to stand up a bit.
I arched my brow, "You were just telling me off for leaving and now you’re doing it?” I reminded him. Dan sighed softly and took a seat once more. I bit my lip in a nervous habit, not sure what to say to the man. "You aren't a bad guy Dan." I reassured him softly.
"oh yeah?" he asked and his face showed that his tone was sarcastic.
"Yeah. I think you're just...torn." I murmured thoughtfully.
"That’s not an excuse." he reminded me.
"No it's not, but it does help for people to realize why you do what you are doing." I offered.
"It doesn't make it better.” He muttered, "I shouldn't have these problems."
"Dan" I sighed softly, shaking my head.
"I'm sorry Anna.” He apologized.
"What are you sorry for? There isn't anything to apologize for." I told him softly as I shook my head.
"For not being able to pick," He started off, "For being selfish and not letting you ignore me, I don't know it seems like a got a long list to pick from.” He laid his head down in his hands.
I walked over to him and gently removed his hands from his face, turning him to look at me. “Dan…” I spoke softly, trying to figure out what to say to him. “Don’t beat yourself up over this.” I explained to him quietly, placing a gentle hand on his. “You’re a great guy, don’t tell yourself anything different.” I added in, leaning in and I pecked his cheek sweetly before moving away a bit, not sure how he would respond to that.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" He asked me. "I mean you admitted you have feelings to me and I’ve practically said I can’t choose. If i was you i would have slapped me or at least let me drown in my drink." he added in with a frown.
“Because you don’t deserve to be slapped or treated badly.” I explained quietly, a soft smile on my face.
“Says who?” He asked glumly.
I shrugged, “Says me.” I explained which made him laugh half-heartedly.
"Well thank you,” he gave me a weak smile, "by the way you have horrible taste in men" He teased me.
“I don’t think I do.” I reassured him quietly, giving his hand a comforting squeeze.
He gave me a tired smile, "Well I guess we will just have to agree to disagree."