*My guy, no dramas
Have I ever mentioned that I adore Kevin in such an insane way? hahaha, ok that was supposed to be a secret but now everybody knows it! LOL! and I love that picture of him, he looks so perfect!! <3
Anyway, as I always do and just for the pleasure to actually 'talk' to no one I'll tell you guys about my last night's conversation with my best friend -Stephanie- so basically she has been feeling unconfident recently, which coming from me is one of the most usual things ever, but coming from her it's quite worrying, she was telling me that she wanted a boyfriend! yeah, my best friend wants a boyfriend just because she feels trapped in a social circle she's starting to hate, specially since her ex boyfriend is hanging out with her 'friends' most of the time and it makes her sick, it's kind of sad that my best friend is acting in such a lame way but again, all I can do is comfort her instead of point out the obvious -since i've already done so and it had no repercussion in her recent behavior-. So instead of telling her how wrong she was I start to tell her about my lasts encounters with my 'pals' here. And it comes that I decided to share with her how stressful and pestering it's that people keeps telling you to get a boyfriend! one would say I was just trying to make her react but in fact I was being sincere about my feelings and her insecurities just flourished in the perfect timing so I could go ahead with one of my 'feminist' lectures. And so I'm really pissed that whenever I barely state my unconformity about living here or my worries about if I'm doing the correct with my life, people point out or rather suggest and advice me to 'find a boyfriend'??
Damn! I'm so sorry to whine about this but usually the conversation it's the same.
"Hey! how are you?"
"Fine! and you?"
"Great! I love Paris!"
"Oh... you do... *silence since I have no idea of what to say, -oh! I hate it- it's not a very nice reply* that's great, you know, that you're enjoying yourself here! *kind smile*"
"You should get a boyfriend like I did, that way you'd be enjoying more the city!"
or like the other day in the fashion show.
"OMG! I'm so envious of those models"
"Yeah, they're quite skinny and tall! :)"
"Yeah, I know, they remind me why I feel so bad standing next to my b-friend! He's so tall and hyper skinny!"
"Is he? but hey! you're skinny as well!"
"You should get a boyfriend!"
"Hey! how's school! I heard that you were planning to change your major and move to -x place"
"Yeah, I am! I'm actually thinking about it a lot, I'm so confused, I love fashion and all but-"
"You know what? you should get a boyfriend!"
and so that's how everybody ends by remarking the fact I don't have a boyfriend, and well it doesn't annoy me at all, but then it comes the fact people seems to think I'm not completely happy cause I don't have a boyfriend! and then I start with all my thoughts about society and I feel bad just thinking about how women underestimate themselves having the wrong conception that they need a man by their sides to be completely happy! Can someone explain me how would it change the fact I don't like Paris or does someone know how does it relate to the fact I'm re-considering my career choice? please! if you can, please do it, cause I don't have any clue on how those things would be related! If you think that a man would magically change your life, then I'm soooo sorry to tell you this but you're completely wrong and you’ve been living deceived!
No doubt it fills you in such an amazing way but it also comes along with problems, arguments and all the things relationships include! I will sound like one of those feminist activists but sincerely if women in this century keep thinking that way, I sincerely feel pity. Come one girls! we need to learn how to feel proud of our condition of women, we need to start to see our value and realize that no matter what, we don't need anything, apart form ourselves to be fully happy, yeah I know that having a partner makes us happy and everything but we can not depend on others to feel joy! Idk.. probably It's just that I'm hyper sensible lately but people living in such a way makes me wonder if there's something I've been missing about life. I'm sorry for writing this but seriously I was so concerned about how women see themselves that I couldn't help it... so yeah basically what I wanted to say is that against any other thought you may have, any kind of happiness is inside you, you need to love yourself so others can see how wonderful you are and not the other way around.
At the end my conversation with my best friend ended in such an unpredictable way.
Me: "See Stephanie, we aren't supposed to think that a guy will magically resolve your problems! It also comes along with the responsibility of taking care of a relationship and make it work."
She: Is that the reason why you don't want a boyfriend now?
Me: well, actually I have one, and he makes me incredibly happy.
Friend: O_o whattt?????
Me: Yeah, his name is Jaeseop, people usually calls him AJ, he's exactly my type, you know: intelligent super tall and gorgeous, manly but playful and...
Friend: Got it, you prefer sticking to your idols instead of living real life.
Me: No, actually I prefer having no dramas, at least for the moment. No when I'm thinking about my future, about my goals and what I want to do to be happy by myself. You see, I don't have to call AJ, I don't have to change my schedule to see him, he doesn't get mad if I fangirl about someone else or if I go on a date with a guy I know I won't keep meeting, he's there, yet he's not. There's no drama... playing safe...
Friend: ¬_¬ just 5 minutes ago you were talking about how women try to find happiness in someone else... I think I can relate that to someone I know...
LOL and so that long post explained the title of the set! haha have a wonderful night girls! <3