- Because of You // Kelly Clarkson
This is so late because I forgot to edit and publish it. I suck -.-
Isla Toft; Collab with @gianna
I stood off on the corner of set, next to the craft service table, surveying well everything going on. It was something I’d taken to doing whenever I started a new film, sussing out who was good at their job, who sucked, who seemed polite and nice and who was self entitled. Good relationships with the crew were always handy, and more importantly knowing which costars and their egos to avoid was key. Casting my eyes around the room, and munching on a disgustingly stale donut though dam nit I was hungry, I noticed a guy and girl sort of arguing in the middle of the set. She was supper pretty and he was really fucking hot. I sort of recognised him though I didn’t know here. Deciding maybe I was staring I continued to survey the room, noticing one actress prattling on to one of the make-up guys about how to best enhance her natural beauty. I made a note to avoid her, and her delusions, as well as to be extra nice to him, poor guy deserved a break.
"Isla, right?" I almost jumped out of my skin as the guy approached me. I swallowed the last mouthful of the awful donut and nodded, wondering exactly who he was and what he wanted.
“Obviously.” I scoffed so tired of everyone coming up to me and bugging me and leering at me and bothering me. Sometimes, or often really, I wondered why I even did this. I wasn’t even that good “Can I help you?" he grinned and opened his mouth before staring blatantly at my boobs. It was odd I’ll admit but I was used to it. Clearly he was one of those guys.
"I don't do autographs while I'm working," I sighed. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and I made sure to glare at him. Did people not realise I was a person not a walking sex doll?
"I'm your costar... I play opposite your lead actually," He smiled, extending his hand to me “Liam.” I would have absolutely died of mortification, except for the fact he had been a giant jerk.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I could practically feel myself blushing as I grabbed his hand and shook it, way to make a good first impression Isla, “I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
“Do I look offended to you?” He cocked an eyebrow. I was getting a kind of arrogant vibe from him, though maybe that was just because I’d been warned about him. Cocky womaniser, I think was the general opinion of him.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, not entirely sure what to say to this guy, “I don’t really know anyone around here.” I admitted, as if it wasn’t obvious. This whole Hollywood acting thing was much harder than I expected it to be, networking wise it took much more thought than I expected.
“I can tell.” He looked at me like I was amusing him, some funny joke or something, which I didn’t appreciate.
“If you’re going to offer to be my ‘tour guide’ or something,” I poked my finger at him, pretty much forgetting all my manners ever, “which is really a ploy to get in my pants, don’t bother.”
He looked even more amused now, smirk painted across his face, which was smug and annoying, “Wasn’t planning on it.” He said, faking innocence.
“Sure you weren’t.” I narrowed my eyes at him, though I dropped my hand, I had defiantly without a doubt I was sure made a bad impression on my leading man.
"Come to dinner with me," He said like he hadn’t even been listening to me. Pig. Though an attractive one I would admit.
My face clearly showed the disgust I didn’t even bother trying to hide, “Are you not listening to anything I just said?" His eyes were focused on my mouth which was kind of disconcerting, but hey it could have been my boobs.
He “nodded You don't want a tour of the city. Got it." My mouth fell open in shock though I had to fight a smile at his sheer persistence. It was kind of endearing, if I was forced to admit it.
"It's three. In the afternoon." I pointed out, not even close to dinner time.
"Then I'll go against my words and give you a small tour of the city until you're hungry.... but let me assure you that the food here pales in comparison to where I was planning on taking you," He glanced behind me at the food. I had to admit it was pretty nasty and I could do with a good meal with an attractive guy. His personality kind of made it less appealing though.
He didn’t appear put out in the slightest, choosing instead to grin at me “I’m not going to your house," I said quietly, stepping towards him to show how serious I was.
"I wasn't planning on bringing you back to my house until our fourth date." I smiled at that, unable to resist anymore. I had to admit his arrogance was kind of appealing and I hadn’t been able to drive him off, which was rare
"You really think I'd let you take me on one date, let alone four?" I joked.
"I'm very optimistic," He shrugged carelessly. "Do you have a favourite type of flower? Or do you prefer chocolate?"
“If you’re as smooth as you think you are,” I said, realising half way through the gesture that I was tossing my hair over my shoulder, oops, “shouldn’t you work that out yourself?” I asked half teasingly.
“Not going to give me a clue?” He asked, leaning towards me. I had to admit he was quite charming, if not completely arrogant.
I leant forward myself, though I was shorter than him, “Where’s the fun in that?” I breathed with a smirk. We maintained eye contact for a bit, though couldn’t honestly tell you how long as cliche as that sounded, before I leant back away from him.
“A guy can always try.” He shrugged in a way that screamed self-assurance. I was actually a little jealous of the confidence he seemed to project, something I was sorely lacking. I could do without the ego however, “so which parts of the city do you want to see today.”
“You are persistent you know.” I shook my head, allowing a genuine smiles to creep onto my face. Even though I had no plan to fall for this little act it was quite endearing.
“It’s part of my charm.” He was smirking again, and damn if that wasn’t extremely sexy.
“Alright,” I conceded, though I had no plans to sleep with him, “Show away.” I gestured, well somewhere and nowhere, we were on a sound stage.
“That was easier than I thought it would be.”
“That’s because it’s not a date.” I warned him, shaking a finger at him in a gesture that reminded me of my mother, which was a scary thing.
“No, of course not.”
The apartment I still technically shared with Liam was cold and empty. I’d known Liam wouldn’t be here when I’d come to retrieve some more of my stuff, but part of me, the hopelessly stupidly blind romantic had wished he would be here. I sighed, rubbing my eyes and I leant forward to retrieve the shoe that had slipped out of my tired fingers. I had just straightened up again, turning towards the rest of my stuff when I noticed someone standing in the doorway. The shoes clattered to the floor again and I wondered if I’d started hallucinating. No he was real, I could smell the booze from here
"Jesus Liam. Don't sneak up on me like that." I defaulted to scolding, that I could do with Liam. My boyfriend sort of, that I hadn’t spoken to since the confrontation at work.
He stepped forward, I held my breath wondering what he was up to. I certainly didn’t expect him to tap me on the nose “Are you real?"
That was adorably childish, except I wouldn’t think about it "How drunk are you?" I asked eyebrows shooting up in confusion.
He grinned, looking kind of daft "Does it matter?" He stepped towards me so there was no space between us now. That was dangerous "I thought I had the place to myself... no grumpy girlfriend to come home to since she's living with another man."
"Then by all means, let me get out of your way," I said, trying to step away from him and get away. I couldn’t do this now. I don’t know if I’d be able to do it ever.
Instead of letting me pass however he grabbed me my the waist, pulling me towards him and burying his head against my neck "I miss you," he all buy whispered
"Liam," I said, proud of how steady I managed to keep my voice. His lips parted then, as he sucked on my neck, wrapping both arms around my waist. I should pull away, pulling away was a good idea; staying there a dangerous one. I didn’t though
"You smell good," He breathed against my neck and I had to shiver at the sensation. He knew the effect he had on me, the smirk I could feel against my neck proved it.
"You smell like a bar," I retorted, trying to focus on the bad. The reasons why I’d left.
"How have you been?" He asked, continuing to slowly kiss my skin.
“Fine,” I answered, trying to keep my voice from hitching “Liam.” I said pushing gently on his chest though it didn’t stop him, “Liam. Stop.” I said more forcefully this time. This wasn’t supposed to happen, I was meant to get my stuff and get out without him ever knowing I was here. Now I could feel my resolve to stay away crumbling.
He removed his lips from my neck then, looking up to meet my eyes though he didn’t remove his arms from around my waist. “Why?”
“Because you’re making this harder then it needs to be.” I told him struggling to keep eye contact. A struggle which I lost, dropping my eyes down to look at my hands which were still resting on his chest.
“I’m not doing anything Is.” He said, sincerely even though he clearly was “breaking up with me shouldn’t be easy.”
“I’m not…” I began lamely because really moving out and living with another guy sure as hell sounded like it, “I don’t want to.” I said honestly. Except I was.
“But you are?” He asked me. Even though he sounded resigned he make no move to remove his arms, and I kinda didn’t want him to.
“Give me a reason not to,” I didn’t even care how pathetic I sounded, that I was practically pleading, “Please Liam,” I added quietly.
"Is..." He trailed off, looking away from me. Great he couldn’t even look at me anymore. It had really, truly come to this.
"Liam," I said firmly, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. It was killing me, this thing we were doing, the not knowing. I had to know. "Please," I repeated. Loosing the battle not to cry I shut my eyes, to keep them at bay.
"Don't cry baby," he said softly, brushing it away with his finger tenderly before leaning into kiss me gently, “Please.” It was his turn to plead now. We’d been reduced to this.
"Why am I not enough for you?" I asked, lips still pressed against his. He pulled away and I opened my eyes to meet his, missing the contact and dreading his answer.
"We changed," he said simply. So that was it? He changed and wanted more? Something I couldn’t give him. "You weren't happy anymore and it was my fault." No. He blamed himself.
"I wasn't happy with my career," I tried to step away from him, but he just pulled me closer. I hadn’t been happy with anything and I’d taken it out on him; he hadn’t understood.
"You were an amazing actress." He said genuinely. Which was a lie, and not even the point.
"Liam..." I trailed off not sure what to say to that. How it even related to anything.
"You're the most beautiful woman alive Isla," He said honestly, and I could feel the but coming. This was the end then. "You were always enough.... we just weren't happy."
I could feel my body fill with irrational panic. "So we're done then? Our relationship is dead and -" I started to say. He cut me off, pressing his lips to mine and pushing me back until he was pretty much pressing me into the wall. I melted into him and damn this was so almost worth the bad, when he cared enough. Except this wouldn’t solve any problems, so I tensed ready to pull away. He anticipated it however and pulled back though his body was still pressing mine into the wall
"When I kiss you, does it feel dead?" He asked, eyes piercing mine. No, clearly the answer was wrong it felt the same as always, brought back memories of happier times.
“No,” I whispered shaking my head. Which was the problem really, logically it should be an easy decision - I should walk out that door and never come back. Except that wasn’t what I wanted. “Give me a reason to stay.” I repeated desperately gripping his shoulders tightly.
“Is I love you…” he started to say. I don’t know where he was going with it because I cut him off
“Okay.” I nodded, not bothering to wipe the tears marks from my face. I realised I’d started crying again though I couldn’t tell you when.
“Okay?” He asked looking at me in total confusion.
“Okay.” I nodded, knowing I was probably making the biggest mistake of my life yet not able to give a shit anymore “I’ll stay.”