"Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers." — sibunaxdancer99
"Karen: [thinks she flashed over] Oh my god, she's so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who's this?
Karen: Right... hold on.
[Karen flashes over]
Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying." — sibunaxdancer99
"Cady: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying] You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches!" — sibunaxdancer99
"Gretchen Wieners: And did you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT Prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium. And I never told anyone because... I was such a good friend" — sibunaxdancer99
"Cady: Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in fro" — sibunaxdancer99
"Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think" — sibunaxdancer99
"Coach Carr: At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." — sibunaxdancer99
"Regina George: Hello, may I please talk to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor Wedell's Mom: She's not home yet who's calling?
Regina George: This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It's urgent" — sibunaxdancer99
"Bethany Byrd: [to Mr. Duvall] Most people think I'm lying about being a virgin because I prefer jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!
Mr. Duvall: Yeah, I can't do this." — sibunaxdancer99
"[reading a printed page from the Burn Book]
Damian: Janis Ian - Dyke.
Janis: Oh, that's original.
[reading about himself]
Damian: "Too gay to function?"
Janis: Hey, that's only ok when I say it." — sibunaxdancer99
"Gretchen Wieners: I think tonight might be the night with Jason.
Karen: What are you talking about? You've already slept with him
Gretchen Wieners: [pauses] Yeah but tonight's night i like it." — sibunaxdancer99
"Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..." — sibunaxdancer99