I don't hate them I don't ...It's just so stupid and petty and pathetic and its like WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ? 
I came home to be nothing but sad and annoyed at people I actually don't care about but its the fact that people always do that to me. 
People always hurt me in the same way.
They betray my loyalty ...they disappoint 
They always do that
I try I do try so hard but at the end it means nothing to no one
and i feel like I am a bad person
That I am a really bad person and that no one could possibly love me
because everyone leaves they always do
its abandonment issues mixed with the hated feeling of disappointment.
Sometimes I just want to hide in my room with my laptop and disappear because I feel sad again.
And I hate feeling this way. I am sad again.
I am waiting for my walls to come up so I can stop feeling this shitty.
Its not just them no,they are not worth this much sadness no
its everything its Uni
its boys
its the fear that I am not doing well
I feel lost
I feel extremely lost
It's loneliness
or perhaps I am just mad
because I don't want to be this pathetic again.
Whatever it is.
I am done with caring about people.
Trying with people.
If you want me I am here for you but don't make me work for something that you are not going to treasure because guess what my friendship is worth something you will never understand.
You are not deserving of it.
i wish i could have sworn....swear words are magnificent. and from this on we will not be upset over people anymore
because they just people
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