oh fuck

I slept with someone else. I went round another guy's house in secret, got high with him, and then fucked him five times. and it was good. really good. and then I went home and my boyfriend came round and he drives me crazy and I hate the way he touched me and what he has to say and the things that aren't changing but I don't know if this is the guilt or karma or what or if this would've happened anyway
because he's every girls dream boy in all the ways that matter
he's my dream boy and I never thought I'd even want to kiss anyone else
I never thought I'd be the kind of girl to throw it away over this
I won't throw it away, I owe him far more than that
and I will not go near this other guy again
things will go back

I guess I don't really know what kind of girl I am.

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