~The Civil Wars, Kingdom Come {loveeeeee. THG soundtrack is actual genius.}


I apologize for this set. I don't even know what it is.

And I apologize for being really really terrible. @curious-and-young @buds-over-studs I LOVE YOU GUYS and I will not give up RBR, I've just had really bad writers' block (laziness in essence) for Gracie, but look I'm finally gonna write a story for her, hopefully that will salvage me a bit. Even if it sucks... xP

My eyes, bleary with sleep, blinked into the sunlight coming in through the open window. I sat up fast, too fast, my head going numb. I glanced beside me at whomever that was. He was cradling the b.ong from last night, naked and passed out. I scrunched up my nose, holding my head as I stood up. 

My throat burned for more of what we'd been smoking, but I knew I had to get to work. I wasn't usually late, and no one ever really suspected anything. The guy, whomever he was, stirred slightly as I wrapped my robe around me, stepping into the bathroom.

As I turned on the shower head, I heart footsteps behind me. Apparently he wasn't passed out.

"You want some more?" He asked, holding out the b.ong to me, it's iridescent swirly marble casing mesmerizing me. I stared at it, licking my lips without thinking. The addiction was so strong I didn't even pay attention to his bare self, all wide open for me to see and take back to bed with me if I wanted. But I didn't want him. I just wanted what he could give me.

"I... I have to go to work," I told him in a trembling voice, one not even I could believe. "You should go."

He blinked his red, red eyes, rubbing a hand through his floppy blonde hair. He was attractive and looked smart, his dimples appearing as he smirked at me. He didn't look like a junkie, not at first glance. I supposed he was like me. Perfect seeming, on the outside.

"Come on," he urged, reaching for my wrist. "They won't miss you."

The way he said it, I coiled back, realizing he might be right. People at Red Bedroom, they were nice to me, they were my friends, but they didn't even know the real me. They just know my outer shell, the part of me that was exposed and was normal and pretty and acceptable. They didn't know the deep inside, the part of me that people like this guy I didn't even really know knew.

"I need to go," I said, trying to convince myself I could, even though my body was moving as if stuck in a pool of solid marshmallow. 

I shuffled past him, forgetting the shower, and throwing on a comfy black dress and flats, adding some jewelry to make myself presentable. I went back to the bathroom, reaching for concealer for my eyes. In the mirror, I could see him watching me as he still clung to the b.ong. 

"What's your name again?" I asked, because maybe I wanted to see him again. His stuff was good. And he was good. He was much better than Gabe or Tyler or Jule. And he seemed to show more interest in me, in more than just one way, than the other did. Like he wanted to be more than just my supplier, like he wanted to be more than just some one night stand, like he wanted me to go on a date with him. I didn't know how long it had been since I'd been on a real date with a real guy. People always assumed I had guys bowing down to me, but they didn't know I ignored most of them, because they couldn't give me what I wanted, what I craved, what I needed.

"Walt," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist from behind. "Let's do another..." he whispered into my ear. 

It was too hard to fight it, to fight him. I sighed, grabbing my phone. I dialed Cassandra's number, biting my lip, searching for the taste I'd inhaled last night.

"Gracie? Hey, are you on your way? I've got someone here that maybe you could help," she said brightly. "But no rush or anything."

I tasted bile in the back of my throat, lying to her. I liked Cassandra. I considered her a friend. But already this Walt guy knew more about me than she did. "Um, Cass, I'm sorry but I don't feel well. I've got terrible cramps..."

Walt smirked at that, running a finger across my hipbone, making my skin tingle even though the thin cloth of my dress separate me from his direct touch. 

Cassandra made a sort-of concerned whimper. "Oh, that sucks. Well, I hope you feel better. You can come in for a half day if you want later. But only if you feel better."

"Thanks," I told her, already tuning out, my mind abuzz with the sweet white powder I could see on the table back in the bedroom. "I'll take some Midol or something."

Hanging up the phone, I let Walt bring me back with him to the bed, dumping the contents of the bag onto a black tray. 

"Or something," he smiled, referring to my other choice besides Midol. I didn't need Midol. But I needed this.

I needed it too much to let it go, to cleanse myself and be new again. I didn't need to be new. I needed to feel myself on that high, like I was everything in the world and nothing at all, together at the same time.

It wasn't something you should just stop doing. It was too much to stop, it was too much to give up, it was too much.

It was life essentially, a thriving, beating asset to the life I lived in the dark.

[COMMENT IF YOU READ PLEASE <3 I appreciate all feedback!]
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