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oh gosh. this set sucks. i needed to get this story out though.
[soundtrack: MISERY BUSINESS - PARAMORE.]
{MMN}

I'M SEEING KINGS OF LEON TOMORROW.
YES YES YES.

I wanted to publish two sets today.
But I can't.

Shit.

I'll publish the next one tomorrow.


15- Today, all of the Seniors must report to the ballroom at The Standard afterschool. We're all having /ballroom dancing/ lessons. We are all assigned partners (will be announced) by the Dean, and we only get to leave when have all learned to dance like proper, up-tight people...perfectly.

And why are we learning all this?
For extra high school credits.
Unique school, right?

Proper attire: floor-length gowns; must be school colors...either a red, navy, white, or black dress.


I had my plans for today.


Seniors were excused from classes and only had to come in fancy dresses and twirl around a ballroom for a few hours.

Then I was going to go home.
Finally finish one out of three of the essays I have due soon.

Then go to bed.

Maybe call Alex.


We still haven't talked.


I had my plans for today.


That is, until I found out who my dancing partner was.



"WHAT!?"

My voice echoed through the ballroom as I stomped into the room.

It was full with most of the Senior class already. They stared as I walked in.

Poofy red dress, angry expression, pissed off voice.

I'd stare too.

"Miss. DiVello," Dean Rivers said from the corner where she stood with a few teachers, "What is the matter?"

"The matter is Robert Samuels," I said through gritted teeth, "/Why/ is he my dance partner?"


Dean Rivers blinked.

"Because he has been for the past four years...?"

I blinked back.

My expression dropped.


"Right..."



"You look like a princess." Rob mumbled as we finally stood in front of each other.

In my head, I said,
I KNOW! 
I LOVE THIS DRESS!
I FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS!
I WANT TO TWIRL AROUND, WITH A PRINCE!

WITH ALEX!
ALEX!
ALEX!
ALEX!

I blinked at Rob.

"Thank you."

FUCK YOU.


Step forward.

Step back.

Look at Rob.

Rob looks at me.

Look down.

Twirl.

Swap nervous stares with Elle.
She was with Spencer.

Oh God.


Turn back around.
Catch Rob look at my chest.

Blush deeply.

Oh goodness.

Oh, God.



The class was done earlier than expected.

We usually do these for little parent-watched events so that us Monroe students look high-class and shit. It's all about the image.

I immediately ran (I was in heels. I slightly rushed.) to Elle's side.

"That was horrible." I said, catching Rob's eye by the water fountain.

She sighed.
"I hate this school."

I patted her shoulder.
"Few more months, babe."


Rob;

I touched her.
She smelled nice.

She blushed when I looked at her.
Or complimented her.

C'mon.

This was set out.
Go, Rob.

Go.
Go. 
Go.

I caught her eye again.

Why was she staring at me?
Doesn't she have a boyfriend?

Who the fuck cares?

She walked out of the room, alone.
Elle stood with Summer, but didn't look mad.

So Cam and her aren't fighting today.
(Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day...)

Which means Cam's in a good mood.

Which means Cameron is standing outside, alone, in a /good mood/.

Go.
Go.
Go.


Cam;

I was in such a fancy dress.
I headed to the dirtest Starbucks in the city.

It was odd.

Rob calling my name from behind me was even odder.

Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

He's intimidating.
In the suit of his.
He looked...
yeah.

But, 
His stares made me uncomfortable.
And I didn't want to talk to him.

I didn't want to look at him.
I didn't want to touch-

"Cam," he said, grabbing me by the arm, "Hey, where are you going?"

I whirled around.
"Starbucks...? Class is over."

He laughed.
Oddly.

He's odd.

"I know," he said, smirking, "But I've been meaning to ask you..."

I frowned.
"/What/?"

What do you want from me?


Rob;


You.

Just you.

"Do I look nice in this suit?" I asked, nonchalantly.

I wanted to see her reaction.

And,
She blushed.


Cam;

I felt color flood to my cheeks.
Why?

I don't know.

"Shut up." I mumbled, and walked down the street.

Well, I tried to.

"Cam," he said, grabbing me again.

"Don't touch me!" I said, a bit too loud.

His face went hard.

"Cameron, when we were dancing...you didn't feel it?"

I sighed.
It rocked through my body.

"Felt what?"

"Us."


Rob;

Cheesy bullshit.

Doesn't she like this?
Does it sound stupid to her?

I don't even know what to fucking say to her.

I just want her by my side.
Or in my bed.

Out of my head.

Next to me.

Just next to me.

Or in the bed.

Her choice.


Fuck.


Cam;


"Leave me alone." I muttered.

I couldn't even take a step.

He grabbed me back.

"Just tell me why," he said, softly, "Give me a good reason."

"Because I love-"

He scoffed.
"Druggies don't count."

My face heated up, differently.
In anger.

"Shut up!" I said, hitting him in the chest. "Shut up!"

"Alex is gawking at college girls right now, Cam. Get over him. His textbooks have more interest to him than you do."

My face fell.



Alex;

Elle gave me another pep talk before leaving to school to some dance thing. I felt really good.

I made sure that my hair wasn't too messy.

And I was going to see Cam, after school.

It's been...three, four days?

I feel stupid.
I feel alone.


Rob;

"Look," I said, seeing her hurt face, "I didn't mean that you're not interesting. Cameron, you're.../the/ girl around here. But you belong..."

"With you?" she said, softly, looking down at the floor, "Really, Rob?" She looked at me, straight in the eye. She was being sarcastic.

I sighed.
"Tell me you don't feel anything."

She rolled her eyes.

They were so brown today.


Cam;


"I don't feel a thing."

I said, straight, truthfully, solemnly, promising, surely, confidently.


Rob;


She lied straight through her teeth.

"Cameron..." I said, looking at her.

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.


Cam;


I blinked.
I didn't say anything.


Rob;


She blinked.
She didn't say anything.

/Always keeping me waiting/, I thought.

Well, I'm done waiting.

Done.
Done.
Done.

Go. 
Go.
Go.


You're going to feel something, Miss DiVello.




I leaned in.





Cam;

He leaned in.


No.


Understatement.


He pulled me in by the waist.
/Then/ he leaned in.


One peck.
Two pecks.
Three pecks.

More.



Alex;


Walking.



Stable.
Normal.
Average.


I walked.

I was listening to /Asleep/ by the Smiths, on my iPod. It wasn't too loud. Or too low. It was at a perfect setting.

The sky was so blue.

Blue, blue, blue.

The ground was so flat.

I felt so grounded.



Then I turned the corner.



The street of snobs.
And brats, and designers, and prep schools.

I never like walking down here.

Until my world was centered here.


She was my axle.

And I spinned, 
spinned, 
spinned, 
spinned, 
spinned.

I loved the feeling.

Being around her.
Seeing her every angle.


But when I turned the corner,

My world become something else entirely.


That kid was on her lips.


Her lips.
Those lips.


My lips.


No.
No.
No.
No.
No.

The sidewalk wasn't flat anymore.

I was no longer on the floor.

I was falling.


Everything disappeared.

Oh, no.

No.


This was just a dream.

I was asleep.


Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.

Sing me to sleep, Cameron.


I knew I only stared for five seconds or so.

If I stared any longer, I would probably faint, evaporate, melt, dissolve, explode...the list goes on.

I would die.


I would die for her.


Only her.

Not for me.


Her, her, her.

Cam's eyes were closed, tight, really tight.

Concentrated?


No.
No.
No.


Six seconds.
Seven seconds.
Eight.


She didn't pull away.

Time was going so slow.
Every second seemed like an hour.

I blinked at them.


Disbelief.
No,
No,
No.

Realization.

No.
No.
No.

Can't be.


Truth:

Yes.
Fuck.

No, no, no.


My world.


I walked away.
I stormed away.
I didn't know what to think.

I wasn't thinking.
Not even breathing.
My throat was thick with something;

With screams.


This is my fault.
I want to sleep and never wake up.

Only beside her.
No, not anymore.

Where was my world now?
Where was I centered?
Where was I located?
 
Morrissey filled my ears while everything else rang.

And then leave me alone ...
Don't try to wake me in the morning ...
'Cause I will be gone ...
Don't feel bad for me ...

...There is another world 
There is a better world
Well, there must be.
Well, there must be.
Well, there must be.
Well, there must be.
Well ... 


Bye bye 
Bye bye 
Bye ...



Cam;

Seconds;

Only seconds.

Rob's kiss was sweet.
It lasted for only seconds.

I was the one who pulled away.
I was the one who knew and felt it was wrong.

I was the one who stared at Rob in shock, and disbelief.

I was the one who slapped him, hard.
Hard.
Hard.
Hard.

Because I had my mind set.
I was setting my mind to it.

I don't love Rob.
I don't.

I may like him as the friend...in my past.

But I don't.
No.
No.
No.

I was the one who started to cry.


Because Rob got me so mad.
So frustrated.
So angry, and upset.

Rob made me feel like I had the world on my shoulders.


And...



And Alex made me feel as if I was floating in the Heavens. Our heavens. And I looked at Rob, and there wasn't that spark.

With Rob, I was dragging.

With Alex, I was free.


Without Alex, I was falling.



I was the one who looked behind Rob's hurt face, and saw the back of his head.


Alex's head.

The back of Alex's head.


And it hit me.

And I put my hand over my mouth, in shock, as my heart slowed. And I looked at Rob, and I blinked.

I blinked.


Rob;


She just stared at me.

My cheek felt as if it were on fire.

And she just stared.

Those eyes.

Why does she do this?
Why?
Why?
Why?

She opened her mouth, many times.
Then she just whispered, "Fuck," and ran past me.

And I looked at her and that princess dress and looked at the dirty-sweater clad boy she was looking at.



And I didn't get it.


At all.


I didn't get what I felt for her.
Why it was so strong.

Why I fucking wanted it, and I fucking wanted it now.


I tried to explain the feeling to my best friend, Nate once.

He had looked at me and said,

"You get everything, man. You just can't get Cam. That's why you're so crazy about her." He took a drag of his cigarette, and blew it in my face.

And then he laughed.

"But I don't blame you.


She's a work of art."

She is.



A complicated, sense-less, piece of fine art.






Cam;


[memory]:


"Mmm," I said, stretching out on the floor, "You're bedroom floor is cold."

Alex smiled at me. He was laying on his side, facing me.

We were naked.
Wrapped around in three giant blankets.

"I have a question for you," he whispered.

I smiled.
"Yes?"



"In the future..."

I groaned.

"Why is it always the future!?" 

He laughed.

"What would you tell yourself, and me?"


I smiled, in thought.

"I'd say, 'Cameron, don't forget to feed the damn dog,' because if Jack's not dead by then, it'd be pretty big." Alex laughed. 

His hand danced on my hips.

"And?"



Alex;

[memory]:


"And..." she had taken this huge breath, and closed her eyes, really thinking. Then when she opened her eyes, she let out this huge sigh of frustration.

"I don't know!"

I frowned.
"You would have nothing to tell me?"

She shrugged.

I nodded.
I had felt hurt for a moment.

Then I felt the warmth of her thigh, and forget all about it.


But late, late, late that night when we were lying in my bed, she looked up into my eyes while she was in my arms, and she murmured,

"All I'd know in the future that would mean the same right now is how much I love you. But since it's kinda cheesy, I'd tell you that whenever we fight, to please remind me of this night. And this kiss,"

She kissed me lightly on the lips.

"And this touch," her hand brushed the side of my face, "And this-"

She stretched, and nuzzled against my head. 

And it all felt so nice.
And so warm, and perfect.

She was half-asleep when she told me that a few weeks ago. I smiled, turned her over, and made love to her for the thousandth time that day. 

And I still remember that kiss, and that touch, and that smile, the giggle, the feeling.

The words.

And it all felt so unreal.


It should've never been real.


She was a dream.



She was a dream.



I ran.




Cam;



Alex ran.
He ran really fast.


I was in heels, and a dress that I found really ugly now.


I lost sight of him.


I walked home.


Feeling miserable.


I went to my dad's bar in the kitchen, and drank.
A lot.

I haven't had a drink in a long time.


I missed the numb feeling.


It made everything so unreal.



This is all a dream.


This is a dream.


- xoxo, Cam.


{alex & cam drink, get lost in their thoughts. you won't find them trashed in an alley. just let them mourn 'till my next set. TOMORROW NIGHT IT SHALL BE POSTED.}
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