„Hyung, why are you so pale?” I asked my manger; we were in car on our way to YG building. We were stuck in traffic and we both knew there wasn’t a way to be on time at our destination.
“Jiyong, I ate too much spicy food…” He said. “I think I’m going to explode!”
I quickly understood what he meant and almost burst into laughter; he needed a toilet immediately and the situation wasn’t that funny. I looked around through car’s window – we were far from restaurants or shops where toilet could be found but I recognized the area. J. lived there.
Without much thinking I asked my manager to follow me and we left the car; I know J. wouldn’t mind using her flat when my manager was in pain.
Going upstairs was probably hell for my hyung – she lived in the cheapest flat at rooftop in a building without an elevator. Once when I asked why she lives in such place she answered with a smile that her friend also lives in rooftop room and they can wave to each other through half of city.
My manager glared at me angrily when I found a key hidden in one of plants without any problem. “ I don’t have time now to question you why you know where the key is hidden.” He said.
When he was saving his life in the bathroom, I had few spare minutes to look around the place. At that time J. was at work and the flat was completely empty. Bedroom and livingroom were the same room. I smiled from ear to ear seeing that above her bed T.O.P’s hyung poster is still hanged. Under shelf filled with huge collection of DVD’s was placed small tables with a lot of mess on it: necklaces mixed with hair accessories, two books and empty tea cup. Between all of this was place a photo frame with picture of me and her from last year. She still had red hair on that photo.
I was happy she kept that picture in frame – she had whole photo album filled with photos of her and her idols, but it seemed that photo with her friend was more precious than one with Infinite or SHINee.
Then I noticed something that stopped the feeling of being special, ‘the only one’ – there was new photo placed next to the lamp on table. Apparently she hadn’t bought frame for it yet, but still the photo wasn’t hidden like rest, but placed on the same table as the one with me. I wanted to tear the photo up: smiling face of that kid, JB, was very annoying.
“Jiyong!” My manager’s voice stopped me. “We’re leaving.”
I nodded and followed my manager to the exit. Accidentally I bumped against colorful box that was placed on floor. It turned over and few things that were placed inside fell out.
I kneeled to fix it, when I noticed opened notebook on page with something glued to it– it was airport ticket ripped into two pieces. ‘Never give up’ was written under it. I quickly closed the notebook and put it back with other things to the box.
Back in car I couldn’t stop thinking about the ticket. It brought me memories from last year…
“What are you doing?!” I yelled at red haired J. who took a cigarette from my mouth.
“Do you really need to smoke it?” She asked.
“Yes.” I was stressed over the possibility of my career’s end; I deserved the cigarette to calm myself. And who she was to decide whether I can smoke or not? She was younger than me. “Stop being rude.”
“You must quit smoking. It should be your punishment. Just think – “ she said calmly “ – if you weren’t smoking you wouldn’t had accepted a marijuana cigarette from stranger and you wouldn’t be in trouble now.”
Her words were so true that it hurt even more.
“Why are you girls caring for Daesung so much when he goes through hard time, and scold me when I also need support?” I whined.
“Because Daesung’s accident wasn’t his fault; and yours is entirely your fault.”
It hurt even more.
“I’ve thought you’re my friend…” I said not looking at her, but at my fists clamped in anger.
“I’m and only friend can tell harsh truth.” She said quietly. Was she regretting every word she had said but at the same time knew she had to say it?
I was so mad that I wasn’t controlling my own words; that day I said something I’ve been regretting since then.
“I don’t need friends like you; friends who are no different from haters.” I was getting angrier and angrier. “If you ever was really my friend do one last favour for me: buy yourself plane ticket and go back to Poland ‘cause I don’t want to see your face ever again.”
Few days later, when I was back myself, I felt relief seeing J. at Seoul-mate. She apologized for forcing me to quit smoking, I apologized her for my rude words and we were friends again.
I stepped out car and looked at YG building. I followed my manager and went to recording studio. He left me there alone so I could work on new songs.
I haven’t noticed when Se7en hyung entered the studio.
“Jiyong, why are you crying??” He asked me surprised.
“Because I lost her heart that day; I should be the one to stop her at that airport!”
Back in 2011 I asked my best friend to go back to her country but she didn’t listen to me and stayed; few month later I learnt from Se7en hyung that she had been about to enter the plane; that she would had fly back to Europe if not her friends who stopped her: and I wasn’t one of them.
Sad story I know; but GD is going to fix his past mistakes:P