The weeks have been hell but I've gotten through them. Jared and I were still together but it seemed that our relationship was slipping.
I continued to think about that as I slipped on my dressed then my shoes. I heard the knock on my door. "It's open." I knew it was Jared coming to get me for the Homecoming dance. I had a strong feeling that this might be our last dance if I didn't talk to him.
I heard him walk in and kicked my negitive thoughts out of my head. I didn't want to think about a break up right now. I walk slowly out of my bedroom to find Jared just sitting on the couch staring out the window not even noticing I was there.
"Hey." I said with hesitance. As if caught doing something bad he jumped up and turned to look at me. I tried to smile and it worked, only a little. He returned the smile with almost the same hesitance that had been in my voice.
"Hey." He answered back. We have also been having fewer conversations as the days passed. It scared me a lot that me not talking to him or telling him I loved him was breaking our relationship. I was so screwed up.
"I, um, booked us a suite at the hotel if you don't mind." I blushed a little hoping it didn't take it as I thought he would.
He looked confused rather than upset. "Why?"
"I thought that we could just be alone and maybe," I looked down, "you know talk." I really meant talk and not sex.
"Talk?" I nodded looking at him this time as he spoke. He nodded and held out his hand. His smile a little more vibrant as it had been when we first met over summer.
I took his hand and we left. The dance was quite entertaining. We dance but we're not as close as the other couples were. There was that tension that usually came before intimate moments or a break up. I hoped it was the first rather the the latter.
After the dance we head up to our room where I slip off my heels and set my bag on the small table. We were in a rather large room and I had reserved it for the night making sure to be clear that we might need it the following day if I was lucky.
"You wanted to talk." Jared made it seem like something bad. I nodded trying to hide the cringe at his words.
"I'm sorry." I blurted out finally. "I never meant to hurt you. You're good guy for sticking with me and I feel like an ass for putting you through all this hell. I mean me suffering is one thi....." He put a finger to my lips to silence me.
I felt tears start to gather in the corner of my eyes as he looked me straight on. "I forgive you. Part of it was my fault for saying anything in the first place. I knew there was something lurking in your eyes and mind when we finally started dating. It was like you were scared and I guess you are. I'm the one that should be saying sorry." He pulled me into a hug which actually started me crying.
"No it's my fault. I should have been more open with my dating history. I was raised in a rather reserved family in which my parents rather talked about there relationship." I sobbed into his shoulder ruining the fabric of his suit. He walked me to the bed and sat me down.
"Then talk to me Brook." I nodded and pulled my head off his shoulder to wipe my eyes and compose myself.
"I've only been in one relationship in my own life. I dated him for a long time and ended up cheating on him. We broke up right before I went on tour. When we last saw eachother it was a down and out fight. We left on bad terms with him calling me a whore and me wishing he was dead. In that fight he said he lied about loving me just to get in my pants and that I was a gulliable little girl that would believe everything. I knew he was lying because I was all he ever talked about with his friends. But it hurt me to hear those lies." I said trying not to cry again.
"Wow." He ran a hand through is hair and looked at me.
"Yeah." I sighed this time looking down at my feet. Minutes of silence passed before I felt warm hands on my shoulders rubbing the tension out of them.
"You can trust me when I say I love you Brooklynne. I'm not the kind to lie or to just try to get in your pants." I heard the truth in his voice. "I'll wait until your ready to love me back."
"That's the thing." I practicially yelled at him. "I do love you!" This time I looked at him. "I've just been to damn scared to say it too you." And with that I looked away again.
He pulled my chin up to look me in the eyes. "You said it now. Are you still scared?" He asked, his face getting closer to mine.
I gulped. "No." I lied.
"Lier." He kissed me and that was it. All my fear left me and I knew he did love me and I loved him. Sure we were going to have our ups and down, since we were both young and writers after all, but in this moment it was just us and the truth.
His hand found the zipper of my dress and I heard it hiss as he opened the back of my dress. I continued to kiss him until he pulled back.
"You sure?" I smiled and gave a nod and the clothing came off.
Homecoming night, a night I surely wouldn't forget for some time and I didn't want to either.