[collab with my pretty princess @ssaarah :)]

Violet,
CBC

flashback;

I turned the tv off, elbowing Jake not so gently as I sat straighter next to him. "What?" He woke up suddenly, opening his eyes and looking at me in confusion.
"The movie is over." I said flatly not even bothering to hide how annoyed I was.
"Too bad, because it was such a good one." He grinned, trying to wrap his arm around my shoulders but I slapped it away, "Ouch."
"You slept the whole time." I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest.
He raised one eyebrow, his usual cocky grin still in place as he leaned into me, "You can't expect me stay up when you pick a chick flick."
"But-" I started just to cut myself off as his mother walked into the living room.
"You two should go to sleep, it's late." She said quietly, her eyes bouncing between her son and me.
"Right." I said as I got up from the couch, smiling at her as I smoothed my skirt.
Jake got up as well, ignoring his mom completely, "I'll walk you home."
"I live basically in front of you, no need to worry." I said casually even if the thought of spending the night alone in my empty house was far from appealing.
"I wasn't asking Vi." He grinned, making me roll my eyes, then looked at his mom, "I'll be back in a while."
She parted her lips but it took her a while before speaking, "Why don't you sleep here honey? Your parents are out of town...right?"
I nodded my head and bit my lip, feeling bad for having such a careless family. "Yes, but I don't want to bother you."
"You never do Violet." She said honestly and smiled again, then turned to my best friend, "I'm sure that Jake will be happy to sleep on the couch and let you sleep in his bed."
"Thank you, you're always too good to me." I smiled back at her, feeling grateful like anytime she acted like the mother I wish I had.
Jake waited for his mom to go back into the kitchen before smirking at me, "There's no way I'm sleeping on the couch."
I shrugged, biting my lip as I headed to the stairs that led to the bedrooms, "You can always sleep on the floor." I smirked, "And I'm going to need one of your t-shirts. And a pair of shorts."
“Okay. But I'm not sleeping on the floor. My bed is big enough for both of us.” He said casually as he peeled off his t-shirt and then tossed it to me. Seriously? “Look you’re half of the way there.” He winked and I glared at him. 
“A clean t-shirt Jake.” I said, scrunching my nose and chucking it back at him as I wondered when exactly my best friend started to have such perfect abs. 
He threw up his hands as I followed him upstairs into his bedroom. “So demanding.” He grinned, pushing the door open and grabbing me a pair of his gym shorts and a tee as slipped off his jeans and tossed them in the laundry basket with his shirt. And at that point I thought I was blushing even if really, there was no reason. He was just Jake and he loved getting attentions. “What?” 
I looked at the ground. “Are you going to wear nothing?” I asked quietly. 
“I'm not wearing nothing, I have boxers on.” He said hopping into bed and patting the place next to him. 
“You can’t watch me change!” I protested.
He raised a brow at me. “I’ve seen you in a bikini Vi, it’s basically the same thing…..actually no, it’s less.”
"I don't give a f.uck of what you say. And I'm not sharing the bed with you wearing boxers." I glared at him as I walked out of the room again, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind me. I looked at the reflection in the mirror and I realized that I was smiling like an idiot...no wonder why, how many times had I imagined sleeping with Jake since we started high school? One million? Maybe more. And now he was waiting for me in his bed. Wearing boxers. I was going to die. I sighed and replaced my clothes with Jake's, looking at the mirror again and frowning at what I saw. I was't looking sexy or anything, my already tiny boobies disappeared under Jake's wide t-shirt and the shorts made my a.ss bigger. I shook my head to myself, knowing that there was no way that my best friend could find me attractive, now or ever, and I made my way back to his room.
"You were fast." He said quietly, his eyes following me as I set my things on a chair.
"Yeah." I avoided his look, wanting to die for how embarrassed I felt. "You're wearing shorts."
He grinned and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, "I had to or you'd start being super annoying."
"F.uck you." I glared at him and laid down on the bed, being careful to not touch him as I wondered how many girls he had been with. More than ten probably, while I was still at zero guys, waiting for someone I wasn't going to have.
“You have such a mouth on you you know that?” Jake asked, grinning at how I was pouting at him. Idiot.
“Shut up!” I said but I was smirking slightly. 
“You’re cute when you’re pissy.” He said, poking my side as I squirmed. 
“Jake!!!” I turned towards him, my eyes glazing over for a second as he grinned at me. Why did he have to be so cute? All the other girls best friends were chubby, with acne and nerd glasses, why did mine had to be so incredibly charming? 
“What?” He asked, grinning back at me. I glanced down and then laid down flat on my back again as I looked at the ceiling, I had to stop checking him out or there was no way I was going to be able to sleep. “You know I think you just checked me out a little.” He said, teasing me. 
“I didn’t!!!!” I exclaimed and lied, grabbing the quilt at the bottom of the bed and pulling it over my body. 
“I don’t get any covers?” He asked, ignoring me dissing him. 
“There isn’t enough.” I said back and He grinned, wrapping his arm around my tiny waist and pulling my body into mine. “There is now.” He whispered softly.
I couldn't handle that, not the phisical contact. Of course I loved when we were at school or hanging out and he hugged me, but this felt way too intimate and despite how good it felt I knew I couldn't make it happen or I'd end up being one of his one million girls. I always thought that it was better to have him as best friend instead of nothing. "I can't breath if you're all over me." I snorted and elbowed him, causing him to roll over his back again.
"Ouch! Vi!" He protested, placing a hand on his ribs, "Why are you so grumpy?"
I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to look at him, "Don't act like I hurt you."
"Excuse me but your elbow is pretty bony, it didn't felt nice." He groaned. 
Bony. That was what I was, the tall bony girl. "I'm sorry." I said quietly, adjusting my head against the pillow and feeling really sad all of a sudden.
He snorted and glanced at me, "You're not sorry."
I rolled over onto my side again, looking into his gorgeous green eyes, "I am." I frowned and brought my hand to my mouth, placing a kiss on it before setting it where I had hit him, "It's all good now." I winked at him.
“You could have just kissed me instead of your hand.” Jake replied seriously but I just laughed. He had to be kidding.
“I have no desire to kiss you Jacob.” I replied, lying again. 
“What are you full naming me for?!” He said pouting a little as he stared at the ceiling with me making me feel even more stupid than I already did. 
“You’re being silly!” I said back, not knowing what esle to say and wiggling away from him. 
He sat up. “I'm being the way I always am Vi, you’re the one who’s being a weirdo!” He said back, glaring at me and making me wonder if I really was.
I pulled my long blonde hair up out of her face and shrugged. “You’re too big Jake, we can’t both fit in here and I'm not comfy.” 
“Only because apparently I'm suddenly toxic to you!!!” He replied, a little harsher than I expected. 
“You’re not Jake.” I said cuddling a little closer to him. “You’re just hot and it makes me hot!” I explained and he smirked as I rolled my eyes. “Not that kind of hot Jake. You lost your cuddle privileges again.” I added, rolling away from him. 
“I’ll go sleep on the couch then.”
I turned my head in his direction, parting my lips and staring into his eyes as I tried to figure out if he was serious or not. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't act like I always did? Right, because I secretely wanted him. "No." I said eventually and propped myself up quickly to get up from the bed, "It wouldn't be fair, this is your house...I'll sleep on the couch."
"Really?" He raised one eyebrow at me, giving me a skeptical look.
I nodded and smiled, bending over him as I placed my hand on his chest, "Yes. Night Jakey." I whispered as I pressed a kiss on his cheek, letting my lips linger a moment before pulling away.
"No night Jakey, I'm not sleepy at all." He grinned and grabbed my wrist, pulling me down on the bed again.
"I bet, you slept for the whole movie." I grinned and let him wrap his arm around my shoulders as we both laid on our backs.
He kept quiet, not even bothering to answer me and turning his head to me instead. "Why aren't you protesting?" 
"Uhm?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him, not understanding what he was talking about.
"I'm hugging you and you're not protesting." He smirked, obviously pleased with himself.
"Because if I want to sleep we'd better stop bickering." I shrugged when actually I was sure I couldn't sleep for even a second with him so close to me.
“Bickering?” Jake smirked at me. 
“Yes….what are you grinning at me for?” 
He shrugged “Sometimes I think your insides are older than your outsides.” He told me seriously rolling over and wrapping his arm around my waist. 
I held my breath for a second and then released it slowly. “Sometimes I think that too.” I said softly. “Jake.” I broke the silente, my body actually scooting closer to his as I got more comfortable. Damn that felt so nice.
“Mhhm?” 
“Do you…..” I started, about to ask him if he ever thought of me as more than a friend and then I stopped for a second. With all the girls he had? I probably was last of his thoughts.
He lifted his head. “Do I what?” 
“Do you have a lot of girls in your bed?” I asked finally. 
He blinked at me, seeming to be taken aback. “No.” 
“How many do you think? “ I asked, biting my lip as I turned my head back to look at him, making the shirt I was wearing ride up a little so he was holding the skin of my stomach. 
He swallowed thickly and shrugged. “A couple. Why?” 
I rolled my eyes and turned back around. “A couple equals two Jake. I'm sure you’ve been with more girls then two.” I said the last part under my breath.
“I feel like you’re calling me a slu.t Vi.” He replied nuzzling my neck for a second. “That’s rude.”
"It's the truth." I said dryly and a lot more seriously than I intended. I loved Jacob, I really did, but that side of his personality? Not so much, mostly because I hated seeing him acting like an a.sshole when he could be the sweetest guy ever.
"Really?" He said against my neck, causing a shiver to run through my body and sounding surprised.
"You have a lot of girls..." I shrugged and the tone of my voice was a lot softer than before since I didn't really mean to insult him. It wasn't like I was jealous because I knew that I meant to much more to him than all those girls, no one of them was really his friend, but sometimes I had to admit that I wondered how it could feel to be like them.
He laughed, not taking me seriously...he never did. "You're making me sound awful."
I rolled over onto my other side and looked at him, my eyes staring into his gorgeous green ones, "I didn't mean to, I was just stating a fact."
"If you're trying to make it sound better I warn you, it's not working." He grinned as his hands inched down my back.
"I mean, you're handsome, of course girls like you." I reasoned out loud as I set my hands on his chest, casually, not like I really wanted to touch his perfect body.
"Are you complimenting me Vi?" He grinned even wider, the kind of cocky grin that it made me want to punch him in the face.
"No." I groaned and rolled onto my other side again, not even standing the look on his face or the fact that his hands were on my body when only god knew how many other girls had got the same treatment.
“It kind of sounded like you were…I heard the word handsome.” Jake said seriously, holding me even closer and nipping at my shoulder through my shirt, making me jump.
“Oh my god JAKE!??!” I said shooting like 3 feet off of the bed as I jumped up. I seriously needed to relax.
He cracked up. “That’s what you get for lying to me.” He said still chuckling at himself as I pulled the covers over my entire body except my head. 
“Don’t do that again.” I said seriously, glaring at him when really? I wanted to die for how much of an idiot I was for acting like that. 
He sighed. “And that’s the difference between you and the other girls I have here.” He said finally. “Well besides the fact that you’re a million times hotter.” “What?!” I said, turning to him sharply. Did he really say that I was hot?
“Most girls don’t mind when I bite them." He explained, shrugging as he turned on his side away from me, not making me look at his gorgeous face. 
“Not that part!” I snapped, poking his side hard. 
“God, Vi you don’t have to bruise me!!!!” He said looking back at me, making me realize how close our faces were now that they were turned. 
“Did you say I was hot?” I asked quietly, still surprised. I didn't find myself that attractive, I was too tall and too thin. 
“Of course you are Vi. You know that.” He said offhandedly.
"I don't." I said simply and honestly, shrugging as I get rid of the covers and reached for Jake's side to let him know I wanted him to turn over to me again. I didn't need to say that, he could read my mind, I was sure. Not all the time fortunately, or he'd know I had an epic crush on him.
He rolled over onto his side as his eyes didn't leave mine, "What?" He asked.
"You heard me." I bit my lip, my hand still on his hip feeling kind of frozen. I wanted to touch more of him but I didn't know if I could and at the same time I felt like I had to pull it away instead...but I didn't want to.
He let out a small laugh and shook his head, "Are you fishing for compliments?"
"No." I blinked my eyes at him, surprised he could even think I could. Guys were stupid at that age, I didn't blame it on Jake. "I genuinely don't think I am hot."
He raised one eyebrow and dropped his hand on my hip casually as he inched closer to me again, "Why's that Vi? You can't be serious...I mean, look at you." He said casually, making me wonder if he really thought I was hot or he just felt the need to not make me feel bad. God I was so bad at reading him sometimes.
"I'm too tall and too skinny." I said quietly and I glanced down at my hand as it trailed up his flat stomach before stopping on his hard chest. "Maybe I should work out and grow some muscles at least." I smirked to myself, not able to bring myself to look at him.
Jake just started laughing and I smacked him again. Well f.uck him for being so gentle to laugh me in the face. “Why do you keep laughing at me?!” I said a bit louder than I meant and he shook his head. 
“If you keep yelling mom will come in here and kick me out to the couch.” 
I pursed my lips but hit him again, feeling even more stupid for telling him about my confidence issues. “Don’t laugh. It’s how I feel.” I pouted.
“Violet? I swear to god. You are so fu.cking hot.” He said but I just rolled my eyes as he shook his head and reached out to me, tilting my head up to meet his. “I swear….”
I could feel my face getting red and I looked down again, pulling away from him. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 
He grabbed my hand, pressing it against his shorts quickly. What the f.uck?! I gasped and shot up, my face getting even redder as I turned completely away from him, wanting to die for embarrassment and also secretly shocked that my best friend was so big and hard. For me apparently.
“And that’s from just lying next to you.” He said softly, smirking at the look on my face and I hoped I didn't look too impressed. He sighed, “Go to sleep Violet.” He told me, scooting all the way to the other side of the bed. 
“I think I’ll sleep on the couch.” 
He groaned again and grabbed my body close to his. “I wasn’t hitting on you crazy girl. Now stop being weird and go to sleep.” 
“But I-“ 
“I'm serious Vi! I'm tired.” 
I sighed loudly, wondering why he wasn't hitting on me? Why if I had that effect on him? Maybe he was thinking about some other girl...anyway, it made no sense to me. I kept quiet, finally laying my head down on the pillow. “Thank you.” I whispered softly. After all I was in his bed, not alone, and even if I wasn't exactly sure about what he thought about me I knew that he was a great friend and in the end that was all that matters to me. Even if he didn't like me.
He raised a brow. “For what? I didn’t do anything.” 
I just smiled at him. “For being you.” I said before closing my eyes.

present; 

I walked in my parents' empty house, not even bothering to turn on the lights as I made my way to the staircase, my feet hurting like hell at every step I took. Wearing heels and serving at tables were two things that didn't get along and I should have known that, but honestly? When I had started my first day of work at the bar I hadn't thought it'd be so long. 12 neverending hours, because of course I was new and of course if your boss asked you to stay more because one of the other girls is sick you couldn't really say no. That and the other hour spent on a disgusting bus taking me home had made my day one of the saddests of my entire life. And I missed Jake. 
I slid my hand into my bag and grabbed my phone as I walked into my old room, kicking my heels off before tossing my bag on the bed and checking my phone. No calls, no texts, no anything.
I peeled off my dress and climbed on my bed, my eyes still wide open in the semi-darkness looked at the wall in front of me. I was living a nightmare, hating that place even more than I did back when I was a teenager, the difference was that now I was actually happy to not have my parents around but I didn't have Jake to console me, to make me laugh or anything. I didn't have him anymore and I hated every second of it.
I grabbed my phone, ready to call him, but after I heard the first ring I hung up and tossed the phone on the floor, knowing that I couldn't talk to him, it wouldn't be fair...it was all my fault after all.
My eyes shut tightly after I glanced at the photo of us hanging on the wall, my heart aching like I had one million needles stuck into it. Did that even make sense? Of course, he was my best friend and that was supposed to hurt, but wasn't I overreacting? I didn't even want to think about it anymore.
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431 comments

carlyyy
Wrote 4 years ago
[LOOOVED!]

ssaarahh
Wrote 4 years ago
good.
-jake

sassy
Wrote 4 years ago
I still do
 
-vi

ssaarahh
Wrote 4 years ago
you used to like that about me.
-jake

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