soundtrack: like a g6 by far east movement.
lola "lo" steele.
near wild heaven. 

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20: The new designs for Summer's clothing line, Summer Lovin', are out and she's inviting everyone to come to the store and sample the new clothes.

I took a sip of my drink and scanned the room for Dan. He was supposed to meet me outside but after waiting about ten minutes, I gave up and walked inside. The clothes were gorgeous but I felt awkward standing there, just standing there. 

“Ah,” I heard a voice behind me gasp, the same time a pair of hands grabbed my sides. 

I jumped up, startled and spilled my drink. I could feel the luke warm water cover the front of my shirt, seeping through it. With my jaw dropped, I whipped around and saw Dan standing behind me. I was about to push him when he grabbed my wrists stopping me. 

“Hello,” he smiled and held my wrist tighter as I tried to wiggle out of his grasp. “Yeah, you’re not gonna get out of that so easily.” 

“Ha, ha, ha,” I said sarcastically and while he laughed, I yanked quickly out of his grasp. I stuck my tongue out at him and began to walk away to find napkins. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom quickly just to clean all of this up,” I explained and he nodded. 

“I’ll be here,” he reassured me before flashing me a smile. 

I pushed open the door and grabbed a piece of paper towel. As I watered it down underneath the faucet, I could hear two girls talking. At first I zoned out of their conversations, I hated people eavesdropping on me never mind the other way around. But then after hearing a couple of words that stood out more then they should’ve, I tuned in.

“I heard she threw up,” one of them said. “She used to be so normal in high school.”

“Well I mean she did try to kill herself. I doubt that THAT’s normal,” the other one mused and I realized that they were talking about me. 

They quickly started to talk about somebody else but I was already halfway out the door. I could feel the tears in my eyes. They were just gossiping, I told myself. I hated how sensitive I was about the situation, about other people’s perspectives about myself. It made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. 

I sighed and looked around the room for Dan. Dan could make me feel better, he knew my boundaries, my limits and always had a way of making me feel less...vulnerable. I looked around the room, flashed Summer a quick thumbs up and mouthed good job before continuing my search. 

“Oh my god,” I gasped as I saw him sitting down in a chair with the blonde from a couple of nights ago close to him. To close to my comfort. She leaned over, sitting down on his lap and was practically centimeters away from his face. I closed my eyes as I noticed her lips purse and turned walking away. I didn’t need to watch to know what would happen next. 

“Lo,” I heard James yell as I was about to leave, about to push open the door. I turned to him, eyes watered up and practically ran into him. My head collided into his chest and I automatically wrapped my arms around his waist. “What happened? I swear to god I will kill Dan,” he grumbled, lifting my chin to look up at him. 

“I-i-it wasn’t his fault,” I stuttered. Any faith or hope I had in Dan was momentarily dashed. I felt stupid for trusting him, for wanting to turn to him, for...everything in general. But as much as I hated him right now, I hated the blonde a smidgen more. 

“Lola, hey I waited for you-,” Dan started to say as he walked over to James and I. “What’s going on here?”

“Was just gonna ask the same thing,” James said bitterly and I allowed my arms to quickly pull away from him. 

“Stop it,” I gasped, standing between the two. The testosterone was practically raging in the air, like an electric current. “You,” I said, turning to James. “Shouldn’t worry at all because you have nothing to do with it. And you,” I said, turning to Dan. “I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I choked and ran out. 

“Lo,” I heard Dan shout. “Get out of my way,” he grumbled as I walked out of the store’s doors. “LOLA!” 

“What Dan?” I snapped, turning back around to face him. 

His face softened. “What did I do wrong,” he asked, his voice quieted down a bit and softened. 

I was silent. There were two options of what I could do and I chose the second one. “You weren’t there,” I whispered. 

“What,” he asked gently and walked over closer to me. 

“I walked out of the bathroom,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “And you weren’t there. I heard two girls talking about me in ways that I wish I hadn’t heard and you were gone. You were with Blondie and I was a mess,” I explained, my voice lost its steadiness. 

“Lo,” he whispered and pulled me into a hug. And I just lost control right then, right there in the parking lot with Dan. “I’m sorry.”

xx Lo
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