ll Miss Missing You - Fall Out Boy ll
☼ As per tradition, Heath and Taylor Tate's parents are throwing one of their legendary New Year's Eve parties. Filled with glitter, kisses at midnight, and of course loads of champagne, the whole town is practically invited. So wear your best dress and make sure you have your affairs in order, just so it's clear who you'll be kissing once the clock strikes midnight.
"You look like you can use a drink," A deep voice says and I look to see Heath, a glass of champagne in hand, gesturing it towards me. I was leaning on the bar and yes, I needed a drink very badly. After a night of catching Belle with Tay, the only solution for me was to get drunk, actually, to get wasted.
It hurt so much seeing her with her… in her room, so close. They could've almost been having se.x… maybe they had just gotten done doing it! But I didn't want to see any more. I bolted downstairs, just like the time at the audition, only this time, Belle didn't come running after me. So I headed for the bar, the only place that seemed reliable around here anymore.
It made me feel so betrayed, seeing them. Like suddenly what we had wasn't real anymore, it had an expiration date. I was expired, and now Belle was onto the shiny, new version, that came in human form of Taylor. I hated it. I really f.cking did. How was I going to fix this? How could I? I couldn't leave it alone, but I suddenly didn't know how to pick up the broken pieces and fix this. And if Belle didn't want to either, then things would be staying how they ware, in such horrible condition, for quite awhile.
So, I needed to drink it off. Other people used that as their medicine to numb the pain, so, so could I.
I shake it off, "I think I'll need something a little stronger than that," I say, wincing at what I was saying. I was never a big drinker, just occasionally with Belle and whatnot, or at special occasions, much like tonight but usually that was something light like wine or champagne. But what I needed now was something ten times stronger.
"Ooh, coming right up," He says with a wink, going to pouring up a drink and handing it to me with a smirk, "Here you go. Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to my lady," He says, his eyes targeted on a familiar brunette, Laurel. She was always attracting various guys, although my gaydar suggested maybe she wasn't into them. But here she was with Heath, so maybe my gaydar, like many other things, was failing me.
"Thanks," I say, looking curiously at the glass. I wasn't good at deciphering liquors and differentiating between the many kinds, so I was clueless as to what was in this. I wrinkled up my nose at the smell. From the scent alone I could tell it was strong. "Bottoms up," I whisper to myself as I took a big gulp, my tongue rejecting the taste, my throat aching and burning as it traveled south, but my head's lightheadedness agreeing. Whatever it was, I would need Heath to make me some more of it once I finished it, which, I assumed I would soon.
"So the good girl drinks!" A voice trills.
"Surprise, surprise," another similar sounding one soon following. And glancing at either side of me, I saw that the Stonem twins had appeared. The identical twins were infamous for their sexuality and how they expressed it, while also being sassy and completely intimidating. I always steered clear of them, but somehow, I guess I was their new target. Lucky me. Normally I would probably just walk away, but I was too tired and utterly miserable to do even that, so I stayed there.
"The good girl drinks on occasions like this," I inform them with a smile.
"And that occasion would be?" One of them chuckles.
"It's New Year's Eve. I'm sad and alone and at a party with people I can't stand." I say sassily.
They laugh simultaneously, "You're funny. I don't think we've really introduced ourselves," One says. "I'm Esmeralda,"
"And I'm Alexandra." The other grins.
"Lily," I say, taking another sip of my drink. "Pleasure to finally meet you both."
"So good girl, what are you drinking?" Esmeralda purrs.
I shrug, "I don't know, Heath made it for me."
"Ooh, you really trust taking a drink from him?" Alexandra smirks.
"When you need something strong isn't he the man to go to?" I raise an eyebrow.
The both look at each other, "Fair enough."
I laugh, "So how is your New Year's Eve going?" I ask the two.
"Eh, so so," Alexandra answers.
"The /real/ question of the last hour of two-thousand-thirteen, is what is going on with you and Belle?" Esmeralda questions me.
I peer at her, "What do you mean?"
It hadn't even occurred to me whether people knew there was tension between Belle and I. I knew people gossiped, people talked, but I didn't think about us. I had never even thought about whether people knew about what had happened, if they knew about Belle and Taylor and my crumbling relationship. But evidently, these girls did.
Alexandra shrugs, "It's obvious something has been going down with you two… and not in the good way."
Esmeralda nods, "Word on the street is that Taylor has a crush on Belle and the two are going to star in the play together and have a great kissing scene. And that ticked you off because Belle might've felt something at the audition, correct?"
I raised my eyebrow, taking another sip of my drink, now officially finishing the strong alcohol off. "Does everyone know?"
"Well, everyone who's everyone," Esmeralda smirks, "But don't worry, good girl, I think you're better off without her anyway."
"Agreed," Alexandra says with a smile, "Do you think you guys are gonna break up?"
I shrug, "I don't know," I stammer. These girls were quite curious, for two people who had only just met me. But I went with it.
"Well, tonight let's not even worry about that. Come on, you're coming and hanging out with us," Esmeralda smiles brightly, nodding at Alexandra for confirmation.
I was suddenly whisked away into their world, celebrating my New Year's Eve with the two least likely people. When I imagined this night so long ago, I pictured Belle and I together, kissing once the clock struck midnight, as we had done last year. But here I was, in a completely different scenario with two people I hardly knew, but by the looks of it, I was going to get to know them quite well.
The countdown started, soon I was huddled around their group of friends, listening while everyone counted down. This wasn't where I expected to be, but here I was. And I wasn't necessarily sure if I liked it or disliked it.
Was I disappointed in myself for not having faith in Belle and I?
Or should I be proud I was making new friends?
I was making new beginnings… maybe this next year could be good.
The anticipation is higher and higher and I could feel Esmeralda's eyes on me.
My eyes lock with hers.
Out of the corner I could see Belle and Taylor standing by. She's looking at me.
Esmeralda grins suddenly. What is she thinking?
What is going to happen within these next two seconds?
Esmeralda is gazing intently at me, a smile plastered on her face.
Confetti falls just as the people cheer and Esmeralda's lips are suddenly pressed to mine. And although we're not officially broken up, and although I have no idea what's going to happen between Belle and I, and although everything that was going on in my life that would seem to reject this kiss, I still kissed back.
I kissed back because I was somewhat drunk, I kissed back because I was sad, I kissed back because nothing was going right in my life at that very moment, so I figured, may as well kiss someone while I still can. Even if she was a girl I had just met, it didn't seem likely my girlfriend would be kissing me anytime soon.
So I kissed her, just because at least she was there with me, especially while the person I wanted the most, wasn't.