Like now. Also I'm listening to ELO so that could be why.
Too lazy to type a nice note so I'm going to copy and paste the little journal sort of entry in my private tumblr here. Sorry if ya'll aren't used to my sort of heavier notes. Um. Oh yeah I also changed my name from jenn's tiny but mighty, bro to umm...it's jenn, bro.
This isn’t going to be a joke post (as it’s april fools). I just kinda felt like writing one.
Uhm, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what I think of you. You are malicious and you mock me and you aren’t even cute, but you also have understood me from the beginning and sometimes you make me smile just thinking about you. Please just be out of my life for good so I don’t need to think about you. That is the only way any of this can possibly ever make sense to me.
A lot of the music I have been listening to lately makes me cry or on the verge of tears. Random music, too. Breakdown by The Script, sure that makes sense. Even Hello, It’s Me by Todd Ruddgren. But when Moon River from Breakfast at Tiffanys and Hey Man (now you’re really living) by Eels make you hysterically sob, you know something is up. I generally know what is going on inside of me and the fact that this time I have no idea, it’s really pissing me off. I’m not even pmsing.
What am I saying.
Don’t even know what I was planning on saying when I started this. Just sort of…thinking…while typing it instead of just saying it in my mind. So Think-type.
Hello, it’s me. I thought about us for a long long time. Maybe I think too much, but something’s wrong. There’s something here that doens’t last too long.
I like things that make me happy a lot lately. Maybe I am paying attention to those things more recently and not taking advantage of them. For example:
•When a cute boy says your name for the first time and you realize how wonderful it sounds when he says it and all you ever want to hear is him saying your name.
•When I’m in the sun for a few minutes and the little chemicals in my skin that make freckles start to make my legs tingle.
•Driving with the windows down and blasting Allstar Weekend and not giving a fuck who hears.
•Being in crowds at concerts. “We’ve come to realize that standing in a crowd of sweaty people, elbow to elbow, screaming along to the words embedded in your heart, can give you the most happiness ever needed. when you’re shoved against a sea of bodies and you don’t know what sweat actually belongs to you or your neighbor, you can barely breathe, and in that moment, your favorite song starts playing and you forget about everything. all you’re concerned with is the melody, rhythm, and beat of the song. all you care about is singing your heart out and knowing it’s okay to love something, maybe a little too much, as long as it’s real to you.”