So last night was my birthday party and it was fuuuuun (: I got a bunch of great stuff and I'm exciteeeeddd plus I've got a bunch of cake leftover so I'll probably be on a sugar high for like the next few days (;

Anyways, starting at about a week ago, a bunch of crap has been happening that means that I've pretty much cried every day for the past week. It. Sucks. Balls. First my friend was having a Chinese community party so of course we got bored and we start playing Wii Fit but her board isn't calibrating right. It works out fine until I try to do this tightrope so she takes out the batteries & puts them back in and it goes back to normal, except when I step on the board my dot fills the whole screen and this message pops up that says "Over maximum weight. Please wait while I reboot." So all of the kids in the room that came down to play start laughing and god it HURT so much. I laughed with them though then I did a "body test" and weighed me and I ended up in the "healthy weight" bmi zone but when my weight pops up everyone still laughs. I ended up crying in the bathroom afterwards...

The next day was the day before school so I was already on edge and my mom was treating me like my existence was poisoning the Earth (I don't remember why) so that tipped me off the edge and I alternated between crying and getting ready for the next day for the rest of the night.

The first day of school we had an away meet (swimming) at Mankato East so I tried to be nice to my friends that day, like really, really nice; I wanted to be that happy person that everyone likes being around. The result was that they still treated me the same; "Accidental Angie (the name that they call me no matter how much I protest), just shut up!" "Ugh you're so fat!" "Do you have friends?" I got home wanting to cry but I pushed it down like I always have to.

Skipping all of the boring days, that brings us to my birthday (Friday) when I told my friends that I was bringing cookies to swim practice. They said happy birthday once then when my mom was late with the cookies they got mad at me. They kept yelling at me like "Where are my cookies!? You promise me them!" I felt so used. On top of all of that, neither my brother or my mom said happy birthday to me.

Then my party last night. I guess the party itself wasn't that bad, but my brother has used three words to describe me for the past about month: Worthless, friendless, and stupid. I was walking past him wearing a scarf and he goes "Do you want to be friendless for the rest of your life?" I was playing Rock Band and failing but laughing about it when my brother goes "You're so worthless." I tried on a necklace and my brother says "You look ugly." We had a meet a few weeks ago and I swam only JV which meant my points didn't actually count, but I was still excited. I asked my brother if we could leave early and he told me, "You realize that you're worthless, right? Completely, completely worthless. Do you like being worthless? Good, because you better get used to it." Those words have been bouncing around my head ever since and it still hurts as much as the time he first said it.
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