♡ Tell your new friends that they don't know you like I do; It's over. I want to see you again; I want to feel it again

Oh Well, Oh Well {by} Mayday Parade
- - so sad...all the stuff going on http://cole-more.tumblr.com :/ might delete my blog. It's just unfair how terribly I'm treated on the only place I could escape and be myself. Why do people always invade my territory? Is it something I did wrong? Why should my eating disorder/mental illness make people think they're so perfect and I'm just...ugh.. I'm human and I have feelings. Whatever it is that makes me different, oh well. Also partially sad about losing my friend :/ especially because I'm losing her to my enemy!! ughh *please don't have suicidal thoughts again*
 
Some people think I became anorexic because I didn't like food, or because I wanted to lose weight. Here's the real answer: I was already mentally ill, depressed, and all that since there was alot of childhood traumas that caused me to go to the hospital and come back with these ugly thoughts. I lost interest in my favorite activities; like art (drawing, designing) and writing (I used to write like a pro since primary school). It was all gone...I didn't like anything...I hated everything and everyone equally. Then as I got older, the stress piled on, and my mental illness began to increase. I was starting to notice the non-skinny people at school..and saw how terribly they were treated. I hated it.
 
After a car crash, I injured my head and lost some of my memory. It wasn't much, I guess. Several family members have their own versions of how it happened although they weren't present. I was with my uncle, just driving around Lille, but I was too busy playing a game on my phone when he crashed into a tree. I'm not sure what happened after, I just woke up at the hospital. My family was there, and my boyfriend {ex}. I don't know...there's so much to write about, but it's time to apply for a college and look for a new psychologist. xx