"I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them, "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup."
I've fvcked up numerous times. I've lied. I've tortured myself even more then I have tortured others. I've banged my head on the walls in a desperate attempt to raddle my mind and shift it back into it's proper place. I've cursed the very ground we walk on. I've criticized my friends and hated people that they talked to that were not me. I've been jealous. I've seen girls and wished I was them. I've wished that I was dead. I've drawn all over my skin. I've smoked the death sticks I have grown to despise. I've cried because I've thought I lost someone. I've hidden in the back of cars. I've seen a man die. I've hated god. I've been afraid. I've visited my father in prison. I've ignored the letters to me. I've pretended to be something I'm not. I've talked about me far to much. I've exaggerated. I've screamed. I've thought of sex. I've been obsessed with people I have not met. I've been an alien. I've been human. I've been better than you. I've been worse than you. But the point is, I've done things I shouldn't have.
And I'd do them again.
Confession 002-I think poems about nature are meaningless shit and I will not be able to read them without making a sarcastic remark.
I can't fvcking breathe anymore.